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var RemovedEntry = "<b>This entry has been removed.</b><p align=justify>Occasionally I write journal entries that, looking back, I find are redundant, ridiculous, unfair, uninformed or just plain mean. Rather than leave them here and force you to sift through the nonsense to reveal the occasional valid journal entry (as well as potentially upsetting anybody who I feel I may have unjustly criticised), I've removed these entries.<br><br>You've presumably found this page by following a link from another web site. Please <a href='http://www.kinderskinley.com/contact/'>contact me</a> with the complete URL of the site that sent you to this page so that I can ask them to remove it and save everybody else the bother of reading this message!";

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var Entry = new Array (

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "February 2009",

  "8th February, 2009",
  "Break up",
  "Those of you who keep an eye on Katie + Kin (and I think probably everybody else too) will already know that Katie and I broke up a few weeks ago. I've been trying to figure out how to address it here, but I've been <i>so busy</i>:"
+ "<br><br>In the last few weeks I've joined a brass band and a capoeira club. I've helped start a playreading group. I've grown sideburns. I've been to Felixstowe, Reading and London (twice), and booked a trip to Amsterdam. I've cooked tofu. I've bought distressed jeans (what was I thinking? And how come they look so right?) and Microsoft Word for Mac (what was I thinking?). I've met people from Mexico, Thailand and South Africa. I've been out just about every day of the week, every week. I've been stranded in Clapham and danced the train to a town called Nunhead with a traveling busker named Leroy. I've broken the law twice. I've played the piano for the first time in a year. (When I move house in June, she's moving in with me, and my glockenspiel and my trumpet.) I've dreamed of things I'd forgotten for years; things I realise I'm lucky not to have lost forever. Stories and pictures; sounds and ideals and meanings. I have, I suppose, woken up."
+ "<br><br>Breaking up a four-year, amazing relationship is heartbreaking and devastating. I won't patronise you by listing the adjectives; you've been through it, or something similar. Some things are still hard. So much music sounds of memories you half want to forget. Moments alone can amplify and feel like months, or your entire future. But, ultimately, Katie made the right call. We've both changed in four years. Two and a half more years (the least we would have had to wait to be together) of change and frustration would be two and a half years too many. And breaking up has made me realise just how much I've been neglecting the rest of my life."
+ "<br><br>And, you know, the <a href='../katieandkin/index.html?0137'>final strips of Katie + Kin</a> had it right. It was a shock. Everything in the background seemed to just fade away. And I am still finding my feet; I am still figuring out where I go from here, and how. But, with time, all things heal. I'm so glad it ended with a Sunset, and a fade to black. The darkness is uncertain and scary, but I trust that another Sunrise is on its way. I think everything will be okay."
+ Com1 + "230" + Com2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "January 2009",

  "6th January, 2009",
  "Katie + Kin at Macworld 2009",
  "Here's an unexpected bit of news: Katie + Kin are making an appearance at <a href='http://www.macworldexpo.com/'>Macworld"+ext+"</a> this year. The creator of <a href='http://www.chromaticbytes.com/'>ZeusDraw"+ext+"</a> - the primary program that I use to draw the strips - got in touch to ask if he could use the comic as an example of ZeusDraw's capabilities in their booth at the exhibition. <p><img src='../pictures/spacer.gif' height=50 width=30><img src='../pictures/pics/misc/kk_macworld.png' class=imgborder>"
+ Com1 + "226" + Com2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "November 2008",

  "23rd November, 2008",
  "Occupation/education/etc.",
  "For those who are interested, a little update on my academic and professional lives:"
+ "<br><br>I'm making what you might call a diagonal move - both upwards and sideways - within Oxfam, transferring from an administrative position in International HR to a more responsible position in communications. When I began my Open University course (this year: Social Sciences) I anticipated making a career move either towards media and communication or towards humanitarian work. Now that I've got a job in comms, a degree in International Studies - as I had originally intended to study for - seems a touch irrelevant. I studied media in school and, although I'm saying so myself, I was a fucking prodigy at it. It is also, as no doubt most of you know, my passion, hopeful filmmaker that I am."
+ "<br><br>So now I'm planning to work towards a BA (hons) in Social Sciences with Media Studies. And I'll be earning an additional Ł3k a year as I do it."
+ "<br><br>In June, I'll be studying for my final submission for this course, looking for a new home and looking for a new job, since my current tenancy and work contracts terminate in the middle of next year."
+ "<br><br>June is gonna be <i>fun</i>!"
+ Com1 + "223" + Com2,
  "",

  "18th November, 2008",
  "Nice vs. nasty",
  "I hate conflict. Far more than that, I don't like upsetting other people. I suppose most people feel this way. But I'll let it go too far. I'll lie to people that they haven't upset me to save them embarrassment and guilt. Perhaps you'd call it cowardice. I honestly don't know whether I'm being generous or timorous, but I wish it wasn't me. It is one of the things I most dislike about myself."
+ "<br><br>So, to the cause of this introspection. You may remember him from a previous moan: my housemate Lew. Today I simply wanted to ask him, \"at what point in your upbringing did somebody imply to you that it's acceptable to be rude and insulting and constantly critical of other people?\""
+ "<br><br>But of course I didn't."
+ "<div class=soundbite>Being averse to upsetting people is nice. Being averse to upsetting people who make a point of upsetting you is just suicidal. <img src='../pictures/quoteend.png'></div><p align=justify>"
+ "I did prevent myself from smiling amicably at any of the numerous jibes he made about me tonight. You'll be surprised that I find this difficult to do - not because he's funny when he tells me how shit my cooking is, or criticises every element of my lifestyle, or mocks my voice, my tastes, my friends, everything about me - but because my instinctive reaction to somebody trying to be funny - regardless of whether they succeed - is to smile. It's just polite; it's just nice. He picked up on this, because - and I think this is generally the case with others too, only I've let him go further than he probably dares with other people - he's so very used to getting away with being rude and cruel and lofty. And he asked, \"have I said something to offend you tonight?\""
+ "<br><br>I don't know if I was about to answer \"yes\". Regardless, he made an addendum that seemed to prompt my shyness, or my cowardice, or my niceness, or whatever infuriating mental condition it is that keeps me from speaking out to people who truly need to be spoken out to, to take control. He said, \"Have I said something to offend you tonight - <i>more than usual</i>?\""
+ "<br><br>Honestly, to that I could only answer, \"no\"."
+ "<br><br>No more than usual."
+ "<br><br>Being averse to upsetting people is nice. Being averse to upsetting people who make a point of upsetting you is just suicidal."
+ Com1 + "222" + Com2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "October 2008",

  "19th October, 2008",
  "Me and my Macbooks",
  "Periodically I realise it's time for me to buy a new Macbook, worry about my finances and tell myself I don't really need one at all. But this time I think it might be for real. I'll buy it from the States, of course - but the dilemma is which to buy..."
+ "<p align=center><table width=95% border=1 style='border-style: none none none none; border-collapse: collapse'>"
+ "<tr style='font-weight:bold'>  <td>Refurbished</td>  <td>Memory</td>  <td>Storage space</td>  <td>DVD RW</td>  <td>Colour</td>  <td>Price (USD)</td>  <td>Price (GBP) (approx.)</td>  </tr>"
+ "<tr>  <td>Yes</td>  <td>1GB</td>  <td>120GB</td>  <td>No</td>  <td>White</td>  <td bgcolor=#99aaff><b>$849</b></td>  <td bgcolor=#99aaff><b>&#163;500</b></td>  </tr>"
+ "<tr>  <td>Yes</td>  <td>1GB</td>  <td>120GB</td>  <td bgcolor=#99aaff><b>Yes</b></td>  <td>White</td>  <td>$999</td>  <td>&#163;580</td>  </tr>"
+ "<tr>  <td>Yes</td>  <td bgcolor=#99aaff><b>2GB</b></td>  <td>160GB</td>  <td bgcolor=#99aaff><b>Yes</b></td>  <td>White</td>  <td>$1049</td>  <td>&#163;600</td>  </tr>"
+ "<tr>  <td>Yes</td>  <td bgcolor=#99aaff><b>2GB</b></td>  <td bgcolor=#99aaff><b>250GB</b></td>  <td bgcolor=#99aaff><b>Yes</b></td>  <td bgcolor=#99aaff><b>Black</b></td>  <td>$1099</td>  <td>&#163;640</td>  </tr>"
+ "<tr>  <td>No</td>  <td bgcolor=#99aaff><b>2GB</b></td>  <td>160GB</td>  <td bgcolor=#99aaff><b>Yes</b></td>  <td bgcolor=#99aaff><b>Aluminium</b></td>  <td>$1249</td>  <td>&#163;725</td>  </tr>"
+ "</table>"
+ "<p align=justify>Of course, I should also have a final column headed \"spangly new Macbook features\" for which only the last, spangly new Macbook would qualify. On top of that, if I bought a new Macbook, I think I could take it into the store in Danbury and have them transfer all of my goods across, which isn't an option with the refurbs."
+ "<br><br>It's pretty easy to move from one item to the next, pointing out each time that the price difference isn't <i>so</i> much, until you find you've leapt from &#163;500 to &#163;750. My current Macbook has lasted me two years; is it really worth spending another &#163;250 to buy a better product that I'll probably replace in so short a time? Any thoughts?"
+ Com1 + "220" + Com2,
  "",

  "6th October, 2008",
  "For the attention of the first floor fridge food felon",
  "We have a thief in Oxfam House. As far as I know, he or she exclusively steals food and drinks from the fridge in our kitchen. After becoming a victim of this villain again today, I posted the following message to our daily online bulletin:"
+ quoteboxcode + "<b>FAO the first floor fridge food felon:</b>"+ "<br><br>The first floor food thief certainly has unusual tastes. This week he or she had a craving for yoghurt and ketchup. For his or her information, I'm considering a colleague's suggestion to plant horse-laxative-infused foodstuffs in the fridge in future. Bon appetite!" + quoteendcode
+ Com1 + "219" + Com2,
  "",

  "1st October, 2008",
  "News round",
  "Sometimes I store nuggets of news and commentary like a topical squirrel, ready to feast on them in the Winter months. And Winter approaches!"
+ "<br><br><a href='http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/gallery/2008/sep/24/photography?picture=337945156'><img class=imgborder src='http://static.guim.co.uk/Guardian/sport/gallery/2008/sep/24/motorsports/GD8962219@EXCLUSIVE,-SPECIAL-FE-2695.jpg' width=50% style='margin-left:10' align=right></a>&#149; Jonathan Freedland's comment on <a href='http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/sep/10/uselections2008.barackobama'>the world's verdict if the US rejects Obama"+ext+"</a> is accurate. 2000 was a fraud and 2004 was a less than inspiring competition (and a less than significant majority); the choice that American voters face this year is as clear as it could be - and if the majority opt for more of the same rather than much-needed and much-desired change - not just for the US but for the whole world, because that's what the American Presidency is - then the rest of the world, who have essentially been cheated out of a vote in the matter by living in less powerful countries, will be righteously furious. American politics <i>is</i> world politics, and responsibility for the leader of the world rests with the American people. Vote well please, friends!"
+ "<br><br>&#149; Here are some <a href='http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/gallery/2008/sep/24/photography?picture=337945156'>truly incredible photographs"+ext+"</a>, or rather photographs of truly incredible stunts. They're from a new book, ingeniously called \"Incredible Stunts\". I found the safety-equipment-free wingwalking grandmother particularly wonderful."
+ "<br><br>&#149; And finally, I thought that <a href='http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/sep/08/relationships.healthandwellbeing'>this"+ext+"</a> was very sweet."
+ Com1 + "218" + Com2,


//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "September 2008",

  "20th September, 2008",
  "Me at the moment",
  "<iframe align=right width='50%' height='200' frameborder='0' style='margin:10' scrolling='no' marginheight='0' marginwidth='0' src='http://www.google.co.uk/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&amp;hl=en&amp;msa=0&amp;msid=114884492808161241784.000001125672f5b196163&amp;t=h&amp;ll=51.750972,-1.229997&amp;spn=0.012062,0.037808&amp;output=embed&amp;s=AARTsJqfkZkDmi6s3Ov50eGgwE_szrVkzw'></iframe> Oxford is a really beautiful city. Today I ventured to a new area and found <a href='http://www.google.co.uk/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&msa=0&msid=114884492808161241784.000001125672f5b196163&t=h&ll=51.750972,-1.229997&spn=0.012062,0.037808&z=15'>a park"+ext+"</a> that I hadn't visited before; one that, at the top of a hill on the north-east, provides a wonderful view across the city. For a city, Oxford is tiny, and I love it. It has everything you need without being big, imposing, dirty and antisocial. So that's my ode to Oxford."
+ "<br><br>Oxfam is such an inspiring place to work. Yesterday I was informed that Oxfam will make 26 times the profit from your donations that less capable (but well-known) charity shops do. Two thousand, six hundred per cent. Quite an incredible figure, I thought. This is not because Oxfam charges more; we just know what to do with our resources, and when, and how. Yesterday the Oxfam singing group gathered in the atrium and sang songs from around the world (some from Jamaica, New Zealand and Hawaii and, of course, the old traditional, \"It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To\") for the whole, three-floor, open-plan office to hear. Where else does this happen, and how upset will I be if I have to find work elsewhere? Rhetorical questions to which the answers are, respectively: nowhere, I imagine, and: really really."
+ "<br><br>My contract at Oxfam ends in December, so I'm currently looking for new and similar positions. I've been turned down for one but gained some great interview feedback and my prospects for finding another job in Oxfam look great. It would be great to move out of HR (interesting but no future for me) and into the International or Humanitarian division."
+ "<br><br>I'm just beginning a BA in International Studies with the Open University (a part-time learning institution that allows me to plan my studying around the rest of my life). This means that I've rediscovered the nerdlish joy of notebooks and highlighter pens. Don't laugh at me, I'm a student again, which means that I'm broke and have to find pleasure in simple things like stationery."
+ "<br><br>Apologies if that was all quite dull. Here are some other things I'm excited about for the future:"
+ "<br><br>&#149; Seeing old schoolfriends in London tonight"
+ "<br>&#149; Meeting fellow Social Studies students (Social Students? Sounds presumptuous) in October"
+ "<br>&#149; Giving Katie her birthday present in October"
+ "<br>&#149; Returning to the States for Christmas"
+ "<br>&#149; Seeing upcoming Oxford-set film <a href='http://www.tbtproject.com/splashsite/index.html'>The Butterfly Tattoo"+ext+"</a> (and, while wishing it the greatest success, hoping I don't feel any regret for turning down the generously offered opportunity to be involved)"
+ Com1 + "216" + Com2,
  "",

  "18th August, 2008",
  "Am I a housemate or a puppydog?",
/*  "I have a problem with one of my housemates that has been becoming more and more explicit and has ultimately started to aggravate me so much that I'm considering moving out, only ten months before the tenancy ends anyway."
+ "<br><br>What I want from a housemate is, I think, what most housemates offer: a friend, certainly; someone I get on with, who I can enjoy a conversation with and be comfortable sharing living space with. This would apply to all three of my housemates, but one thing gets in the way: one of them, Lewis, also wants a relationship."
+ "<br><br>Lewis clearly thinks that being part of a houseshare means far more than the sum of those two words: every time my housemates go out, or watch the television, or occupy any part of the house but their bedrooms, he expects me to be there with them."
+ "<div class=soundbite>I am made to feel guilty and antisocial for spending less than every moment of my time doing whatever Lewis and the others want to do <img src='../pictures/quoteend.png'></div>"
+ "<p align=justify>Every weekend they go out, into town, to a cafe for breakfast or lunch, to the park to play games and drink, to the pub. Almost every evening they sit in front of the television and watch mundane shows. Any of these things I would be happy to do, once in a while, sometimes, not just in the name of sociability but because they are fun - but I do not want to do them <i>all day, every day</i>. I also want to talk to my girlfriend, and write stories, and take photographs, and listen to music, and, hell, spend some time alone. In a moment thick with irony, Lewis, one morning following an evening of drinking that I hadn't joined them in, told me with characteristic sarcasm, \"it's alright - when I was your age I stayed in all evening playing computer games too\". The blind hypocrisy of this false assumption and judgement - that <i>I</i> am wasting my time! - was for me a further descent into the quagmire of frustration that his attitude has me standing in. I am made to feel guilty and antisocial for spending less than every moment of my time doing whatever Lewis and the others want to do."
+ "<br><br>Will any of you tell me I am the party being unreasonable here? That I do in fact have a responsibility to gift my life outside of work to my housemates while we share the rent? I got home from the States late last night and, sad - I presume understandably so - at having said goodbye to my fiancé for the next four months, I spent the last couple of hours of the evening in my room, unpacking, self-sympathising and generally being solemn. The following evening, I went downstairs <i>thirty minutes</i> after Lewis had come home, to hear the sarcastic remark, \"It's good to have you back Kinders - <i>we've seen so much of you</i>.\""
+ "<br><br>Was I expected to bound down the stairs at the sound of his entrance and trail him around the house?"
+ Com1 + "214" + Com2,
*/ RemovedEntry,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "July 2008",

  "27th July, 2008",
  "Various updates, both technical and personal",
  "<b>Technical:</b> here's version 8.0 of the web site. As always, it's the best yet and I'll never ever change it ever again and so on. (But really, isn't it? I am most pleased.)"
+ "<br><br> Nobody responded to my <a href='http://www.kinderskinley.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=211'>latest request for information</a>, which leads me to think that people either don't read Katie + Kin any more (much as I'd like to be humble, I don't believe this) or aren't bothered if I stop posting updates on LiveJournal. So, as of this post, I will no longer be updating LiveJournal for journal entries or comic strips. (Please don't unfriend me, I'm still reading...) I've created two respective <a href='../cyberstuff/feeds.html'>RSS feeds</a>, which you can use to keep track of updates in Vienna, Google Reader, iGoogle or whichever other feedreader gets you up in the morning. I like it when people stay in touch, so please add them! (Alternatively, the latest updates are always posted on the <a href='http://www.kinderskinley.com'>home page</a>.)"
+ "<br><br><b>Personal:</b> I never announced on here that Oxfam are paying me now - in fact, they have been since January. I'm working in the International HR department, which means that in my everyday work I get to talk to people from Lima, Mexico, Freetown, Nairobi, Pretoria, India and Bangkok. Every week there are a dozen meetings, forums or presentations on Oxfam's work, which is so diverse that there are ultimately opportunities to get involved in <i>anything</i>. Working at Oxfam is enlightening, exciting, compelling, rewarding and great fun. Unfortunately my contract ends in November so I'm putting myself out there for any opportunity to stay with the organisation. Luckily I work alongside the recruitment team, which has given me lots of insight into how to make a successful bid for a job! And further to that, I'm beginning an Open University degree in International Studies. Busy busy busy!"
+ "<br><br>On top of these, here are some things that I'm excited about for the future:<br><br>Huggling Katie later this week / seeing the rest of the Pineapple next week /  the brilliant <a href='http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Moffat'>Steven Moffat"+ext+"</a> taking the reins of Doctor Who / playing bridge for the first time in seven months / experiencing the much-lauded WALL-E / the brilliant Steven Moffat writing the upcoming Tintin film / Billy Bragg's presence on <a href='http://www.emusic.com/artist/Billy-Bragg-MP3-Download/11572306.html'>eMusic"+ext+"</a> / life in general."
+ "<br><br>If you're a Merry buccaneer, I'll see you next week!<br><br>Love<br>Kin"
+ Com1 + "213" + Com2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "June 2008",

  "21st June, 2008",
  "An open letter to various members of parliament and the UN",
  "<div class=moreinfo>More information about the situation in Zimbabwe:"
+ "<br><a class=thin href='http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/country_profiles/1064589.stm'>&#149; BBC Zimbabwe profile"+ext+"</a>"
+ "<br><a class=thin href='http://www.thezimbabwetimes.com/'>&#149; The Zimbabwe Times"+ext+"</a>"
+ "<br><a class=thin href='http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zimbabwe'>&#149; Zimbabwe on Wikipedia"+ext+"</a>"
+ "<br><a class=thin href='http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zimbabwean_presidential_election%2C_2008'>&#149; Zimbabwean 2008 election on Wikipedia"+ext+"</a>"
+ "<br><a class=thin href='http://www.petitiononline.com/13032008/petition.html'>&#149; Petition to the UN Security Council to intervene in Zimbabwe"+ext+"</a>"
+ "</div><p align=justify>"
+ "<font style='display:none'>endmoreinfo</font>"
+ "<i>Dear [various members of parliament and the UN],"
+ "<br><br>I am in despair at the state of affairs in Zimbabwe. Every day the media reports the most horrific, vile events - and that is all I see: reportage. Neither the public nor the government appears to be taking any action, even appears to show any sympathy. As a politically active citizen, I want to encourage people to support those who are trying to save lives and and livelihoods in Zimbabwe; I want to encourage people to rally governments worldwide and the UN to take action against a despicable regime that, under an obviously fictitious veil of democracy, has become nothing more than a sick and desperate dictatorship. But I see no outlet for this. I see little public or institutional interest, and this is why I despair. We are witnessing the perpetration of the most evil abuses and doing nothing. There are a few petitions with barely scores of signatures; but given the way the government treats the issue - occasionally releasiing statements that are nothing more than a wagging finger, condemning, but not making any attempt to cease, Zanu PF's actions - it is no surprise to me that people are either ignorant, unmotivated or incapable of responding actively. As a representative of the public, please take every opportunity you get to raise this issue to your peers, who are in a position to spread awareness and encourage action, since it is an issue of extreme importance: it is an issue of people's rights, futures and even lives."
+ "<br><br>It is one sad thing to read these events in a newspaper; it is far more shameful and frightening to think that our supposedly socially-advanced government is watching and doing nothing to stop them."
+ "<br><br>Yours sincerely,"
+ "<br><br><img src='../pictures/signature.png'>"
+ "<br>Kinders Kinley</i>"
+ "<br><br>Please feel free to copy and/or alter the text of this letter, sign it and send it to anybody you think appropriate."
+ Com1 + "210" + Com2,
  "",

  "14th June, 2008",
  "Dear George,",
  "David Edgar, in his <a href='http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/jun/14/georgebush.usa'>open letter to George Bush"+ext+"</a> today, made one particularly interesting point that had never struck me:"
+ quoteboxcode + "One of the ironies of the Manichean, \"clash of civilisation\" model, which has split the world on your watch, is that the very aspects of literal, Wahhabist Islam that westerners have proper worries about - the death penalty, the subordination of women, homophobia, censorship, aggressive warmaking, the divine authority of leaders - are aspects you don't have that much trouble with." + quoteendcode
+ "A real update about fascinating me coming soon, I promise."
+ Com1 + "209" + Com2,


//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "May 2008",

  "25th May, 2008",
  "Another silly grumble",
  "Returning to my <a href='../journal/index.html?00146'>thoughts from January</a> on The Guardian's reporting:"
+ "<br><br>1. Here is a good example of <a href='http://education.guardian.co.uk/schools/story/0,,2281575,00.html'>reporting with an astonishingly smug and opinionated bent"+ext+"</a>, as bemoaned."
+ "<br><br>2. Here is an example of something else I've noticed The Guardian repeatedly (that's: repeatedly) doing - <a href='http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/may/25/plane.crash'>repeating themselves with quotations"+ext+"</a>:"
+ quoteboxcode + "A large cargo plane crashed at the end of a runway and split in two while trying to take off Sunday at Brussels airport. ...<br><br>Francis Vermeiren, mayor of the nearby town of Zaventem, said the plane did not catch on fire when it crashed after attempting to take off. Vermeiren was coordinating rescue efforts at the airport.<br><br>'The plane is not on fire but it has split into two,' he told VRT radio." + quoteendcode
+ "I think it's time I wrote a journal entry about my current situation, which I will do shortly."
+ Com1 + "207" + Com2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "April 2008",

  "2nd April, 2008",
  "Stimulation, not simulation",
  "Today, I was thinking about the difficulty of capturing the sensation of fainting on film from the first person's point of view. Some experiences just can't be captured as fiction (film is limited; this is what makes it any good), and, in those cases, film shouldn't try to simulate them, it should - if you'll excuse me - stimulate the audience into experiencing these unframeable moments of life for themselves."
+ "<br><br>Thinking this suddenly took me back a few years to a forgotten idea of mine; I remembered this being my - for want of a less silly idea of a word - motto as a young hopeful filmmaker: that my films would not encourage viewers to see more of my films; rather the audience would be encouraged to go out and <i>live</i> as a consequence of seeing my film. Through a paradoxically arrogant sort of modesty, I had a notion that, if people only ever watched one of my films, it would be a compliment and a testament to the success of this ideal."
+ "<br><br>Having this years-old ethos suddenly pop back to me meant a few things for me. First, it made me aware that, though young, I'm old enough to have once developed ideals and beliefs entirely my own, allowed them to evolve and shift and become insignificant, forgotten them and remembered so much later that my remembering them alone is surprising. Second, it made me wonder what caused that evolution, shift, insignificance, forgetting. Why did this naive, romantic but wonderful image of art inspiring life in the most beautiful way fizzle from my mind and my heart? And third, if this is not the drive behind my desire to make films any more, what is? I know the answer to this last question - it is to preach: to educate on sociology and morality and humanity; and to question: to question sociology and morality and humanity - but the new goal is something that can co-exist with my old wish to motivate people towards taking greater advantage of life and all its opportunities. So did I become cynical? Did I become so arrogant and obsessed with the messages I want to distribute that I began to neglect the very ideal that spawned the messages in the first place? Or have I simply refined my definition of \"going out and living\" - and with each film given that motivation a much more direct purpose, even if it's always a reaction to some negativity in the real world?"
+ "<br><br>As always, it's something worth thinking about. I'm only glad that, since this is a mental soliloquy and not a physical experience, I've been able to capture it to refer to later."
+ Com1 + "205" + Com2,


//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "March 2008",

  "5th March, 2008",
  "There is some possibility that this set up is farce",
  "A terrorist carrying enough liquids to create an explosive goes through security at London Heathrow airport. Most of his liquids are confiscated because they are in containers larger than 100ml, and the passengers on his flight are saved."
+ "<br><br>The next day, ten terrorists carrying between them enough liquids to create an explosive go through security at the same airport. They are let through because their liquids are in containers smaller than 100ml. Thousands die and I still don't get my shaving gel back."
+ Com1 + "203" + Com2,


//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "February 2008",

  "12th February, 2008",
  "I'll be interested to see...",
  "Everybody is aware that our justice system is, consciously or not, outwardly or not, shamefully or not, a legitimised route to vengeance before it's a deterrent or a form of rehabilitation. That much is obvious, and it's been the case ever since we've had a justice system. What I think will be interesting about the outcome of the forthcoming <a href='http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/feb/12/guantanamo.september11'>trials of those allegedly responsible for 9/11"+ext+"</a> is that, if it does result in the death penalty, it will be a clear and irrevocable indication not only that are we bent on revenge before trying to rehabilitate, but that we will seek revenge even <i>at the expense</i> of deterrence."
+ "<br><br>The criminals behind 9/11 want to be executed. They want to be martyrs; it is their greatest honour. If, as surely will be the case, they are found guilty by the court, administering the death penalty will be the opposite of a deterrent to others: it will only encourage those as deluded as them to walk the same path."
+ "<br><br>So will the justice system make an effort to do what it has long claimed to have been set up for and actually prevent further crime? Or will it just fulfill the easy, short-term job of placating our vengeful bloodlust, even when doing so fuels the flames that it supposedly exists to extinguish?"
+ Com1 + "201" + Com2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "January 2008",

  "22nd January, 2008",
  "The final story",
  quoteboxcode + "And finally: you might have <i>thought</i> that marsupials weren't master accordionists - but that's where you'd be wrong..." + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>Increasingly I'm finding that The Guardian's articles sound like the final stories of so many lighthearted news round-ups. But the stories that are being covered in this laissez-faire manner are serious events, and the quirky tone of the writing is laced with a bitter, condescending sarcasm. The Guardian has always bent left but in the past they at least made an attempt to appear neutral. It's a bit much for me. I don't mind a little opining in news reporting, but when it's presented as sarcasm and spiteful puns and cheap digs, I think it's time to find a new news source."
+ "<br><br>Any suggestions please?"
+ Com1 + "199" + Com2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "December 2007",

  "29th December, 2007",
  "In this case, the men's wishes appear to have come true",
  "It's very rare these days for me to be compelled to argue a point on the comments page of any web site (I had enough of online quarrels during my too-much-time on internet forums during my teenage years). But Tanya Gold's article, <a href='http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,2233084,00.html'>Men Want Us Lobotomised"+ext+"</a>, in the Guardian today was just too prejudicially obnoxious to leave be."
+ "<br><br>&#147;In speed dating,&#148; she writes, &#147;I did a lot better as a simpering, giggly florist than as a dazzlingly literate lawyer.&#148; This is because the lawyer that she constructed worked 60 hours a week, read Heidegger, wanted to discuss economics and named her cats after a court case on abortion rights. And, to accompany her explanation of this to each of her subjects, she presented them with what she simply describes as a &#147;grin&#148;."
+ "<br><br>Here's my response:"
+ quoteboxcode + "This has nothing to do with male expectations of or desires for female inferiority. Working 60 hours a week is a turn-off to any sex. The stare that you got from the engineer is probably because he had never heard of Heidegger. Are you accusing Eric of being uninterested in economics because you are a female who is? Or was he perhaps simply not interested in economics, as he said? And then you told another prospective that your cats were named 'Roe and Wade, after the United States supreme court case that resulted in the legalisation of abortion'. The unsubtlety of your attempts to drive these men away is staggering, and the clearly planned bias of the experiment is unmistakable."
+ "<br><br>Your dates' reactions are not because you played the part of an intelligent woman, but because you played the part of a dull, humourless, aggressive one."
+ "<br><br>Why did the Guardian print this nonsense?" + quoteendcode
+ Com1 + "197" + Com2,
  "",

  "15th December, 2007",
  "News round",
  "&#149; (59 year old) <a href='http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,,2226306,00.html'>Terry Pratchett has Alzheimer's"+ext+"</a>. Terry Pratchett is the only author whose books I've consistently read since I was about eleven - he has a unique talent for metaphorical satire without being so cynical that he can't write fleshy, fascinating characters - and hearing this news really shocked and upset me. I only hope he has the most merciful form of the disease he could."
+ "<br><br>&#149; In Britain, we love our cakes and our biscuits (a biscuit is a cookie, USians). In fact, apparently, we have a special tax for biscuits. Dubious biscuits of past legal fights have included the honourable Jaffa Cake and the Cheddar. Now the \"<a href='http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2007/dec/14/marksspencer.europe'>chocolate-covered teacake"+ext+"</a>\" is causing trouble. How do you define a biscuit and why on Earth do we tax them differently?"
+ "<br><br><img class=imgborder align=right hspace=10 style='max-width:40%' src='../pictures/pics/misc/stars_of_cctv.jpg'>&#149; Reading about <a href='http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,,2227596,00.html'>New Jersey's likely abolishment of the death penalty"+ext+"</a> today it struck me that the USA still widely enforces the punishment. The topic comes up every so often, in the media, in films, in conversation, but the plain fact that a Western country still claims the right to judge whether people deserve to live and enforces it shocked me as if I had been told for the first time. It's almost incredible. It's such a useless, bizarre, barbaric, sado-voyeuristic legislation. I suppose we are sheltered from that fear in Britain. On a tangent, I did hear a pair of police officers telling some twenty-somethings the other day: \"Lads - just so you know, you're being watched on CCTV right now.\" <i>You're being watched.</i> (\"Good evening, London. This is the voice of Fate.\") 1984 may have come twenty years late but it's not twenty years too late. In any case, <a href='http://www.info4security.com/story.asp?sectioncode=10&storycode=4115441'>CCTV is rarely of any use in deterring or solving crimes"+ext+"</a>. In a celebrity culture it seems to me like nothing more than Hard-Fi's suggestion of a route to everybody's \"fifteen minutes\"..."
+ "<br><br>&#149; On the subject of the absurdity of the law, whatever my anarchistic opinions of the value (or lack thereof) of punishment, the news that <a href='http://www.guardian.co.uk/crime/article/0,,2227540,00.html'>the five boys who killed a pensioner by throwing stones and bricks at him have won an appeal"+ext+"</a> becasue \"it could not be established which of the allegedly 'unlawful or dangerous' actions, if any, had led to Norton's heart attack\" infuriates me. Regardless of whether the system as a whole has any credibility, it's reduced to a farce when this sort of pathetic unconjecture can be used to deny an obvious crime. I wonder how the court would react to the OED's definition of slavery as pointed out by <a href='http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,2221954,00.html'>this article"+ext+"</a>: \"the condition or fact of being entirely subject to, or under the domination of, some power or influence\". By this definition, the law is in defiance of itself, since slavery is necessary to rule that slavery is illegal..."
+ "<p align=center>*"
+ "<p align=justify>Some more personal news: I'm applying for a second internship at Oxfam that I can do alongside the current volunteer work. It involves monitoring activities in Westminster to help the team preparing campaigns, which sounds really interesting and fulfilling. Wish me luck!"
+ Com1 + "194" + Com2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "November 2007",

  "17th November, 2007",
  "Lovely changes",
  "I miss my Katie lots. Being in Oxford will be great for next year when she's nextdoor in London, but right now it makes getting in touch harder, and when loneliness sometimes strikes it makes the blow even firmer."
+ "<br><br>Anyway, here are some lovelier changes:"
+ "<br><br>1. I live in Oxford now. Oxford is actually a much smaller city than you might expect, and I like it a lot. There are grand old buildings peeking out against the skyline everywhere and everybody rides bicycles, which reminds me of Amsterdam and makes me happy."
+ "<br><br>2. I'm volunteering at Oxfam now. Currently I'm working on the intranet, and it's a fairly dull job but also one that I find quite easy, which means that I'll have the task finished sooner than planned and I can have a look around other departments that I'm more interested in. The people I work with are all lovely and there is something a little liberating about working for free, at least for an organisation that deserves the support. I suppose the knowledge that you're not prostituting yourself is quite a nice one."
+ "<br><br>3. I'm going out now to send query letters to agents who may be interested in working with me to get my children's stories published. I've been wanting to send out the queries for weeks but one complication after another has arisen and I've only just reached the point where it's both possible and smart to do so. Perhaps now that I live in Oxford I will have greater credibility as a writer!"
+ "<br><br>4. I'm a vegetarian now. I've wanted to turn vegetarian for some years and only recently felt that I could handle it: this seemed like a good time to make the switch, given all of the other changes occurring (especially since I'm only just really learning to cook), and it's worked out nicely."
+ Com1 + "190" + Com2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "October 2007",

  "29th October, 2007",
  "3-2-1",
  "Some exciting things:"
+ "<br><br>1. I'm moving to Oxford. I'll be staying in an amazing freshly refurbished house (\"the loveliest house in Oxford,\" one of my housemates correctly said) with three other guys, all lovely, and starting an internship with Oxfam, which will, I hope, lead to a permanent position in a few months. It's all happening; I'll be off within the next couple of weeks. I'm excited to gain my independence, to do something professionally that I think is worthwhile, and to move to one of the nicest locations in England. Yay!"
+ "<br><br>2. Katie was accepted to come to London with college next semester. With her in London and myself in Oxford, we can see each other at weekends and even some evenings and at not much expense. Yay!"
+ "<br><br>3. Charles Charles and the Snow Morgle is ready to send to prospective agents, and I'm very excited about getting query letters out there (I'm waiting until I've moved). Wish me luck!"
+ "<br><br>Some less exciting things:"
+ "<br><br>1. Anybody who had trouble seeing my web site before should be much better off now. I've made it much simpler and more streamlined so that it should work on any computer. It's not as much fun as before but on the whole it's an improvement. Fascinating, yes?"
+ "<br><br>2. There are fifty-seven days until Christmas."
+ "<br><br>Something depressing:"
+ "<br><br>Why has it suddenly become <i>de rigeur</i> for huge corporations to cut thousands of jobs? Cadburys, Royal Mail and the BBC are all planning absurd quantities of redundancies because the people at the top <i>still</i> want more money for themselves. It's \"definitely in the best interests of the BBC,\" says Michael Lyons. What about the interests of the people who work for the BBC, with families to feed and rent to pay?"
+ "<br><br>3-2-1. Not a bad ratio, I think."
+ Com1 + "184" + Com2,
  "",

  "9th October, 2007",
  "Oxfam internship",
  "I'm off for an interview on Monday at Oxfam HQ in lovely Oxford for a voluntary internship in the HR department. The position lasts four months and could very likely lead to a paid position at Oxfam, which would make me very happy indeed. Mom and Dad and I have been saving up and, with an accompanying part-time job, I could live in Oxford for a net loss of about &pound;25 a week. This may seem like insanity, but think of how much money most people spend studying at university to acquire a job that they care about, and apply relativity. It's also possible that I could get a grant to help me along."
+ "<br><br>I was really impressed when I called up that Karyn, the HR executive, knew offhand so much about me: my interests, skills, situation. It's that kind of personal effort that makes for a really good working relationship."
+ "<br><br>Living in Oxford would be wonderful: Oxford is a pretty city, fairly cheap and safe to live in and close enough to London to suit Katie and I while she's here next year."
+ "<br><br>As with the last time, I'm really trying not to get too excited and hopeful about the possibilities ahead. But I'm really, really bad at that."
+ "<br><br>Wish me luck please!"
+ Com1 + "177" + Com2,
  "",

  "7th October, 2007",
  "Two articles",
  "Recently I watched an excellent film called <a href='http://www.sunshinedna.com/film'>\"Sunshine,\""+ext+"</a> in which a group of astronauts and physicists attempt to deliver a bomb the size of Manhattan into the centre of our dying Sun, reigniting it and saving humanity from a frosty extinction."
+ "<br><br>Such extravagant science fiction seemed like exactly that: fiction. But, apparently, \"geo-engineering\" - gargantuan mega-solutions to an obscenely large (and growing) problem - is a developing idea that could be the saviour of our carbon-soaked planet. <a href='http://observer.guardian.co.uk/focus/story/0,,2185343,00.html'>Here's an intersting article on the subject."+ext+"</a>"
+ "<p align=center>*"
+ quoteboxcode + "You will soon be 82. You have shrunk six centimetres and you weigh just 45 kilos and you are still beautiful, gracious and desirable. It is now 58 years that we have lived together and I love you more than ever. I carry in myself a devouring emptiness within the hollow of my chest, which can only be filled by the warmth of your body against mine." + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>That <a href='http://observer.guardian.co.uk/world/story/0,,2185461,00.html'>Andr&#233; Gorz's beautiful suicide"+ext+"</a> letter should be published for the world to read is wonderful: it's a stunning display of romance and poetry that makes me well up with love as if I was a part of this lost couple myself. Hopefully an English translation will appear online soon. I think it would be a little too much irony for me to handle if the last, passionate declaration of a man so set against capitalism should become an international bestseller."
+ Com1 + "175" + Com2,
  "",

  "6th October, 2007",
  "Homo-eroticism",
/*  "With a tragic inevitability, we ended up talking about rugby at dinner today. I restated my lack of love for the game; my dad praised it: \"far more exciting than football\". This lighthearted disagreement eventually led to him commenting that \"they're all poofs in football: hugging and kissing each other when they score a goal...\". This is new territory for me. Usually my dad's homophobia is of a very litigious nature: all letters to the prime minister and righteous angst. And his opposition to slang words is vehement: he'll turn off the television in disgust if a fictional character says \"damn\". So to hear him break both characteristics and brazenly declare \"all footballers\" \"poofs\" was quite a shock. I think it means that his homophobia has reached a new level: it's gone beyond self-righteous sanctimony and layered on some plain unnecessary and vindictive incivility. Where this leaves my megaquestion on the nature and origin of superstitious belief, I'm not yet sure."
+ "<br><br>Incidentally, my (admittedly obvious) response to the comment was a dry, \"Yes, because rugby isn't a homo-erotic game at all,\" only to see by my parents' response that either they weren't aware of the word \"homo-erotic\" existing, or they found my decision to use it objectionable..."
+ Com1 + "174" + Com2,
*/ RemovedEntry,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "September 2007",

  "22nd September, 2007",
  "Rejection",
  "My rejection letter from DialogueDirect came through this morning. My initial reactions were utter hopelessness and sheer anger at the ungratefulness (\"surely a fundraising company welcomes all the help it can get...?\"). But DialogueDirect is not a charity in itself. It's a paying employer, and while they're obviously committed to raising money for various charities, they need to earn a profit or at least break even to survive. So if the professionals think that I'm not able to do that, I can only really support their decision. Taking up the job only to lose money for the charity would obviously contradict my desire to get involved in the first place."
+ "<br><br>This is the first time I've had such a rejection. I'm going to have to get used to rejection if I'm to submit my stories to potential literary agents. The difference, of course, is that an agent showing a lack of interest in my story is exactly that, while an employer showing no interest in <i>me</i> is exactly <i>that</i>. It feels like a slight on my character, my commitment or my reliability."
+ "<br><br>The irony is that, having been through a brief (ten minutes?) period of dreadful despondence (remember that this has killed, temporarily at least, my chances not just of earning a full-time living for a worthy cause, but of gaining my independence and probably of seeing Katie before January), I calmed down and thought, well: we try again. I'm the same when I have to say goodbye to Katie: it's unbearable as it happens, but as soon as I start walking away, I can cope. The countdown immediately begins to the next time; despair ends and hope takes it place. This, I suppose, is the upside of my <a href='../journal/index.html?00136'>best-case-scenario fantasising</a>. This is particularly ironic because, above everything else, the quality that the DialogueDirect interviewers were looking for was an ability to deal well with rejection."
+ "<br><br>What's next? I'm not sure. I keep looking. I submit my stories. Mom has suggested that I could use the money saved up for me to go to university (a highly-unlikely event) to allow me to live while I take up a voluntary internship for Oxfam, which could lead to a professional job. For now, I guess, it's back to the grind. From here, at least, things can only get better."
+ "<p align=center>*<p align=justify>PS. DialogueDirect work in the <a href='http://www.dialoguedirect.co.uk'>UK"+ext+"</a> and the <a href='http://www.dialoguedirect.com'>US"+ext+"</a> and they seem like a really wonderful company, so if you have any interest in applying for a job: <a href='http://www.funjobs4u.co.uk'>go for it"+ext+"</a>."
+ Com1 + "171" + Com2,
  "",


  "17th September, 2007",
  "\"We have no objection in principle to people eating\"",
  "Brian sent me this <a href='http://www.capetimes.co.za'>Cape Times"+ext+"</a> article by John Scott:"+ quoteboxcode + "Following is an interview with one Doc Mtusi, who appears to be one of the few people who understands Zimbabwe's economic policy. He knows what's going on even better than his boss, Finance Minister Samuel Mumbengegwi, who announced in Masvingo that there was no need for people to hoard food."+ "<br><br>'But if people don't hoard food, what will they eat when the shops run empty?' the Doc was asked, after he had agreed to an interview."+ "<br><br>'Who says they will run empty?' he retorted."+ "<br><br>'Shelves are already empty of basic foodstuffs.'"+ "<br><br>'Then we will order the shopkeepers to fill them. We have already jailed a few who refused to do so. It is simple economics. We will also jail anyone who hoards food because that is what has caused the shelves to be empty.'"+ "<br><br>'Sorry to cross swords with you, Doc, but your government is forcing shopkeepers to sell all their existing stocks for less than they paid for them. How can you expect them to buy in more supplies at the wholesale price if they know that by selling them at the government's retail rate they'll make a bigger loss? It's a quick way to go bankrupt.'"+ "<br><br>'No one ever said saving Zimbabwe's economy would be easy. We all have sacrifices to make.'"+ "<br><br>'My point is that you can't blame shoppers for thinking that, unless they quickly buy up what's left, there'll soon be no food to buy. They are not stupid. They can see that all the shopkeepers will either be bankrupt or in jail.'"+ "<br><br>'And my point is that it is unpatriotic hoarding of food gives the impression that we have a problem, which clearly we haven't, except in the South African media's mind. I'm surprised that Mbeki still allows you to write this nonsense. We are relying on comrade Zuma to make you change your tune once he takes over,' the Doc responded."+ "<br><br>'But until then, Doc, why have you now even passed a law to stop Zimbabweans importing food from SA? If they can't hoard food, they have to get it from somewhere. Otherwise they will starve.'"+ "<br><br>'We don't call it starving. We call it fasting. Fasting is actually good for you. Lots of famous people fasted for the benefit of their people. Ghandi, for instance, fasted. In our case, the people themselves will be encouraged to fast thereby strengthening themselves against the onslaught of colonial imperialism,' Doc said."+ "<br><br>'I'm sure they really would prefer to eat, most people do.'"+ "<br><br>'We have no objection in principle to people eating.' Doc conceded. 'Those of us in government all eat, but only because persons in our important positions have to. What we must guard against, though, is the belief that ordinary people have the right to break the law if they are hungry.'"+ "<br><br>'Thats how the French Revolution started,' said the interviewer."+ "<br><br>'Thank goodness we won our revolution 27 glorious years ago. So there is no need to worry,' declared Doc." + quoteendcode
+ Com1 + "170" + Com2,
  "",

  "14th September, 2007",
  "Hope!",
  "I have a good imagination, and I guess it can be a curse. I'll get an idea then fantasise about every best-case-scenario for its success. I convince myself that nothing can go wrong. Of course, this means that reality can't conceivably turn out better than my hopes and, in fact, the likelihood is that I'll be disappointed."
+ "<br><br>So I'm trying so hard not to get too excited or hopeful or expectant about the job that I've just had a telephone interview for, that I'm headed to the Queens Park Hotel on Tuesday for a face-to-face interview for. It's for a company called DialogueDirect, who send folks like myself onto the street to try to convince other folks (like myself) on the street to donate a little money to one of various charities each month. It's a job as one of those people that the public take up marathon-running in preparation to avoid. I appreciate as much as anybody that people don't like to be cornered and asked to give money to a worthy cause; it's embarrassing and awkward and a little invasive. I also realise that it's no different to what Argos does: convince people to spend money on things that they don't actually want to. DialogueDirect actually does something positive with that money."
+ "<br><br>So I'm trying not to get my hopes up. But a lot rides on this job. If I'm accepted, I can move out of my parents' house, gain my independence, earn a full-time living, feel accomplished and, most importantly, make a really worthy difference. It will also mean that, when Katie's around next year, I can see her a lot. Excusing the fact that I need to do some research, I think I need to try my hardest not to think about this job for the next four days."
+ "<br><br><font class=small>*I'd been looking even before my street performing venture was a gross failure.</font>"
+ Com1 + "168" + Com2,
  "",

  "3rd September, 2007",
  "Glockenspiels",
  "<a title='Click to enlarge' href='javascript:openImg(\"../pictures/art.html\",\"title=pics/art/Close_up_on_keys\");'><img align=right hspace=10 class=imgborder src='../pictures/pics/art/Close_up_on_keys_thumb.jpg'></a>"
+ "My new glockenspiel arrived today (from a different company: <a href='http://www.rivapercussion.co.uk'>Riva Percussion"+ext+"</a>; they make some gorgeous and delightful quirky percussion instruments). It's Monday and I ordered it on Friday. It's wonderful. It rings and sustains like something heavenly. <a href='../journal/glockenspiel.mp3'>Here's a very short audio file</a> (apologies for the poor sound quality) featuring a tune that most of you will appreciate..."
+ "<br><br><a title='Click to enlarge' href='javascript:openImg(\"../pictures/art.html\",\"title=pics/art/G\");'><img align=left hspace=10 class=imgborder src='../pictures/pics/art/G_thumb.jpg'></a>"
+ "(Look: it even makes for pretty photography [I took these myself!].)"
+ "<br><br>The situation with the useless junk that Elevation Music sent me has become even more absurd. The company refuses to refund the original shipping cost or the cost of return shipping, which means that I can return the product for a gross return of Ł20 - leaving me with the lovely net sum of minus Ł100 and no product. Furthermore, they claim that their offer to ship me replacement parts without charging shipping is a product of their gracious benevolence, since I didn't opt to buy shipping insurance when I made the purchase! The fact that I was never given this option is irrelevant, since a consumer should not have to buy shipping insurance to cover the cost of sending replacement parts for a <i>defective product</i>. The company and its products are a joke, and I'm only sorry that I have no pedestal (beyond this journal...) from which to convince other consumers to avoid it like a hornets' nest."
+ "<br clear=all>"
 + Com1 + "164" + Com2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "August 2007",

  "30th August, 2007",
  "Now I have a need for the other kind of \"glock\"",
  "I'm upset and tired and I'm looking for sympathy."
+ "<br><br>On August 13th, I ordered a percussion kit (one glockenspiel, one stand, two beaters) from Elevation Music in the USA. In a hurry to use it on the streets for something resembling a living, I paid $23 extra for faster shipping. It was sent by standard shipping. I requested and was granted a refund on those $23."
+ "<br><br>The package took an immense 16 days to reach me. Her Wondrous Majesty had got hold of it and stomped some British VAT onto it (on top of the American VAT already paid), so we went into nearby Ipswich to pay for and collect it, as Her Majesty's letter suggested. But the package wasn't there. It was still in Coventry. The letter had been sent in haste."
+ "<br><br>So we returned today for the package. It didn't have one fault. It had <i>six</i>."
+ "<blockquote>1. and 2. The glockenspiel had two dead notes."
+ "<br>3. The glockenspiel also had two A naturals instead of an A natural and an A sharp."
+ "<br>4. The base of the stand was malformed and thus unsafe."
+ "<br>5. The top of the stand was described on the web site as a \"basket-style bell stand\". These are stands designed to support the unevenly distributed weight of a glockenspiel. It was not a basket-style platform bell mount. It was a big metal clip with a screw in it."
+ "<br>6. Said clip was not even appropriate for a glockenspiel. Attaching it securely (as securely as possible; this thing was not even safe) meant that two of the keys were touching the clip and consequently also gave dead sounds.</blockquote>"
+ "<p align=justify>So I've waited three weeks for an utter shambles of a product. Not only this, but I probably won't be able to get a refund for the Ł23 ($46) that I paid to Her poor Majesty for the pleasure of importing a lump of excrement. I'm really angry and really upset and I want a hug from every one of you, please."
+ "<br><br>Addendum: here's a copy of my letter to the company:"
+ quoteboxcode + "Hello. I'm a customer in the UK; I recently bought a percussion kit from you. Unfortunately, the item is seriously damaged. The glockenspiel has two dead notes and another that is the wrong pitch altogether, and the stand is malformed. On top of this, it is not as described on your web site. The description cites a \"heavy duty basket-style bell stand\". This is not what is shipped in the package. A basket-style bell stand is a stand with arms designed to support the unevenly-distributed weight of a glockenspiel. What you are shipping is a metal clip with a screw on a pole."+ "<br><br>You can see an example of a real basket-style bell stand <a href='http://img3.musiciansfriend.com/dbase/pics/products/3/7/2/226372.jpg'>here"+ext+"</a>."+ "<br><br>Please be aware that this means that the company is guilty of <b>false advertising</b>."+ "<br><br>I would like to return the defective item for a full refund including the cost of both shipping to the UK and return shipping to the US. I will overlook the fact that I have had to pay expensive HM customs charges and handling charges that I will not be able to reclaim, and as such lost money because of Elevation Music's negligence; I have also lost money that I would have made using the glockenspiel for professional purposes."+ "<br><br>I hope that you will be happy to comply and allow me this refund. Please let me know."+ "<br><br>Sincerely,<br>Kinders Kinley" + quoteendcode + Com1 + "163" + Com2,
  "",

  "27th August, 2007",
  "It may go with anything, but they didn't go with ours",
  "Sadly, our <a href='http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-NDn2-wHhE&eurl='>Heinz Ketchup commercial"+ext+"</a> didn't make it to the final shortlist of fifteen. While a good number of the ads are unquestionably better than ours, it looks like Heinz opted for those that looked professional (with the exception of one rap entry that I can only assume was chosen to fill the token black entrant slot). In any case, I think that somebody with <a href='http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=rbWAFp2Z9N8'>this level of professional expertise"+ext+"</a> deserves to be in the business anyway. Maybe next time..."
+ "<br><br>My other favourites of the finalists are:<br><br><i>Fries best friend</i> (despite the grammar)<br><i>Heinz Always sunnyside up</i><br>and<br><i>Heinz World Wide</i>"
+ "<br><br>You can see them all <a href='http://www.topthistv.com/vote.aspx'>here"+ext+"</a>."
 + Com1 + "161" + Com2,
  "",

  "25th August, 2007",
  "Forget my excuses?",
  "Back when Scott was writing his <a href='http://longshotsky.livejournal.com/6817.html'>eloquent account of his experiences in the Boston Marathon 2007"+ext+"</a>, a lot of people responded with declarations that they'd like to try it themselves. I remember at the time being fairly skeptical, not of people's resolve to enter, but of the ratio of their engrossment in the enticing success story to their consideration of the effort and stamina, both mental and physical, required to prepare for a 26-mile marathon. Decidedly grounded, I concluded that I neither could nor would ever do anything of the kind."
+ "<br><br><a href='http://www.oxfam.org/en/'>Oxfam"+ext+"</a>, the chink in my armour, my Achille's heel, the doe-eyed puppything of my altruistic inclinations, got in touch recently to tell me about the 2008 London Marathon. But, once again, I dismissed the idea, however appealing the possibility of raising obscene amounts of money for them. However, as is my way, I got to thinking. There are over seven months between now and the marathon. What if I jogged for one minute tomorrow? For two the next day, and three the following? Couldn't I, potentially, plausibly, prepare myself for a four-hour marathon in April? The end of the Oxfam brochure declares - they're deviously good at these kinds of slogans -"
+ quoteboxcode + "Four months of training.<br>Four hours (or so) of running.<br>Forever in your memory.<br>And in the memories of all the people you helped.<p>So forget your excuses.<br>And tell us you're up for it." + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>Am I up for it?"
+ "<p align=justify>125,000 people applied to run the last London Marathon; 37,000 made it. Oxfam guarantees a place on the starting line (along with an after-race massage and a free t-shirt) to anybody pledging Ł2,000+ to the charity. That's 200 people offering Ł10 ($20, as long as the dollar stops falling*) each. So I guess another valid question is: are you up for it?"
+ "<p class=small>* USD 2.01 : 1 GBP right now! We're going to start having groceries imported to our house soon..."
 + Com1 + "160" + Com2,
  "",

  "24th August, 2007",
  "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things",
  "Anybody who spends any time, either for entertainment or as further reason to despair, reading \"Bushisms\" will enjoy reading the many quotations of Dan Quayle (who served as Vice President under Bush Sr. and in 2000 lost out to Bush Jr. in the Republican Party Presidential nomination): <a href='http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Dan_Quayle/'>Dan Quayle quotations"+ext+"</a>."
 + Com1 + "159" + Com2,
  "",

  "24th August, 2007",
  "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows",
  "Such is the internet. I was searching for Jeremy James books online today and I ended up writing a review of <i>Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows</i>. Here it is (don't worry, there are no spoilers):"
+ "<blockquote><p align=justify><i>Though it picks up towards the end, this final Potter adventure, for the first two lengthy thirds, reaches a level of dullness unprecedented by the rest of the series. Little (or, indeed, sometimes, nothing) happens until the finale."
+ "<br><br>Rowling constructed an effective pattern for her first four books and proceeded to destroy it for the last three, and it's this, primarily, that makes them confusing, aimless and dull. </i>Deathly Hallows<i> concerns Harry, Ron and Hermione and rarely devotes any attention to the rest of the extensive cast, causing a serious lack of action and a reader's boredom with the few characters involved. The greater ensemble is also denied any closure in the epilogue, which isn't really acceptable when your readers have spent six previous books nurturing a fascination with them. Only one character is given any further exposition or depth (it's worth noting that the discovery of this character's flaws are probably the closest that </i>Deathly Hallows<i> has to a saving grace). What few deaths occur seem like nothing more than publicity stunts, and, bar one, the characters are dispatched with plain, unemotional writing."
+ "<br><br>The skill level of the writing is, incredibly, lower than Rowling's usual standard. She typically writes in a childish but endearing manner, never artistic but somehow always gripping; in </i>Deathly Hallows<i> she manages to be amateurish with her uninspiring prose and lack of expressive imagination (and a strange and infuriating obsession with the word \"slightly\" that serves to kill any description that might otherwise be evocative). Of course, the phrase \"appeared out of thin air\" makes its customary appearance."
+ "<br><br>The plot is not terribly exciting and certainly not unexpected. There's little sight of the brilliant twists and \"red herrings\" that so wonderfully littered the earlier books. It's for this reason that the book is barely worth reading."
+ "<br><br>Finally, the ending, while essentially satisfying, is very underwhelming and done with far too quickly. The epilogue is cagey, uncompelling and unfulfilling. The book would have fared much better if she had concluded it one chapter sooner."
+ "<br><br>My verdict on the entire series: read the first four, then stop. Little else happens and the subsequent books are so detached from their ancestors that it feels like moving from one smart series to a distinctly inferior one.</i></blockquote>"
+ "<p>I hadn't realised until I wrote the review just how much I disliked the book!"
 + Com1 + "158" + Com2,
  "",

  "20th August, 2007",
  "General instructions: Step 1. Fill out the form.",
  "<p align=center><img src='../pictures/pics/misc/fiancevisaform.png' class=imgborder style='max-width:550'>"
+ "<p align=justify>Do read this; it looks dull but it's fascinatingly disgusting."
+ "<br><br>Following application for a fiancé visa (to allow you to marry in the US), the US immigration folks (or USCIS) propose to get back to you after a delightfully precise 6 - 12 months. Following that, you'll have 6 months to get into the States, following which you'll have 3 months to get married. Essentially, you have 9 months from the moment that USCIS shouts \"hup!\" to move house, move countries and get married. However, I worked out today that, so long as you apply precisely 14 months before the intended date of the wedding, you can send out invitations without worrying too much..."
+ "<br><br>Then I  was doing a little more research, and I found out that, on top of this circus, I have to submit the following:"
+ "<p> &#149; Form I-129F (fiancé Visa Application)."
+ "<br> &#149; $455 fee for filing form I-129F. (The fee was previously $170. Somebody on a forum commented that \"I suppose by raising the fees, they think it will deter people from filing?\")"
+ "<br> &#149; A passport valid for travel to the United States. Presumably it should be mine."
+ "<br> &#149; Birth certificate."
+ "<br> &#149; Police certificate from all places lived since age 16!"
+ "<br> &#149; Medical examination including vaccinations."
+ "<br> &#149; Evidence of financial support - despite my ineligibility to get a job in the US (\"As a K-1 visa holder you may file Form I-765 Application for Employment Authorization with the USCIS office that serves the area where you live for a work permit\")."
+ "<br> &#149; Form DS-156."
+ "<br> &#149; Form DS-156 <i>again</i>."
+ "<br> &#149; $100 fee for filing form DS-156."
+ "<br> &#149; $100 fee for filing form DS-156 <i>again</i>."
+ "<br> &#149; Form DS-156K."
+ "<br> &#149; An interview! I have to have an interview to get married."
+ "<br> &#149; Two nonimmigrant visa photos (each two inches 50 X 50 mm square, showing full face, against a light background)."
+ "<br> &#149; Evidence of a fiancé relationship."
+ "<br> &#149; Evidence of having met my fiancé within the last two years. (\"You may file for the fiancé visa if you have met in person within two years before your filing of the petition unless ... it is established that the requirement to personally meet your fiancé would result in extreme hardship to you.\")"
+ "<br> &#149; Form I-485."
+ "<br> &#149; <i>$1,010</i> fee for filing form I-485."
+ "<br> &#149; Form I-765."
+ "<br> &#149; $340 fee for filing form I-765."
+ "<p align=justify>Getting married elsewhere is no better: then we have to file forms I-130 and I-797 as well. And get this: once I've married a US citizen, if I wish to leave the States for more than a year, I have to obtain <i>advance permission</i>. I'll be paying upwards of $2,000 and an absurd amount of time and effort to become a prisoner in a country that doesn't want me."
+ Com1 + "155" + Com2,
  "",

  "10th August, 2007",
  "What I've been up to",
  "Well, I spent the Summer (so far) with Katie in New Milford and Tulsa Oklahoma. I explained before that there were a few reasons: I got to spend lots of time with my sweetheart and other rarely-seen friends, and get away from a withstandable but menial job, and get some illustrations from Mrs. Robson to accompany my short stories. I had such a wonderful time; it's difficult to explain what a relief it is to be able to socialise with everybody without the ominous knowledge that I'll be leaving in one week, five days, two days, surrounding every event like an uncast shadow. I'm really excited for Katie coming to England in January, when she'll be staying for five months (and, if I'm wily, I can sneak into her Shakespeare classes at the Globe theatre...)! The Robsons got so used to me that they were looking for ways to keep me in the country, which was so sweet and very ego-inflaming. The US immigration system is set against me coming permanently, though. There are endless variations of visas available to non-US citizens, but I'm eligible for none of them. Did you know that there is a visa available for which the only criteria is a high enough salary? Incredible."
+ "<a title='Click to enlarge' href='javascript:openWin(\"../pictures/picture.html?../pictures/stt/ccatsm/bungler.jpg\");'><img hspace=10 vspace=10 align=right class=imgborder src='../pictures/stt/ccatsm/bungler_thumb.jpg' style='max-width:33%'></a>"
+ "<br><br>My menial job will be up for grabs again towards the end of September. That gives me a month and a half of free time, in which I'm going to try some street performing. There's a pretty little town called Colchester a short train ride away from me - it's the oldest recorded town in England and a tourist haven. Perfect! If I can make a half-decent living from it, I won't return to Argos, because why would I when I can stand and play blues and entertain people all day instead, and choose my own hours?"
+ "<br><br>Mrs. Robson just doesn't have time to illustrate a whole book. She drew some concept sketches for me and they were wonderful but we both have to accept that an entire book, albeit a short one, isn't going to happen, let alone four books. That's fine. In fact:"
+ "<a title='Click to enlarge' href='javascript:openWin(\"../pictures/picture.html?../pictures/stt/ccatsm/charles_charles_pub_finished.jpg\");'><img hspace=10 vspace=10 align=left class=imgborder src='../pictures/stt/ccatsm/charles_charles_pub_finished_thumb.jpg' style='max-width:33%'></a>"
+ "<br><br>That's why it's lucky that I discovered a delightful program called <a href='" + outlink + "www.ambientdesign.com/artrage.html'>ArtRage</a>" + ext + ", which is literally a virtual canvas upon which you can draw, sketch, paint, smudge and so on. The paintbrush even runs out of paint, and you have to wash it off in order to avoid the colours mingling."
+ "<br><br>I'm really pleased with the results. I have no skill at all with a tangible paintbrush, so being able to create something vaguely pleasant to look at was a nice surprise. Hopefully, soon, I'll have finished the illustrations for my first story and somebody with a gambling personality will take an interest in publishing it..."
+ "<br><br>(Click the pictures to englarge them.)<font class=small><br>Illustrations &copy; Kinders Kinley. All rights reserved.</font><br clear=all>"
+ Com1 + "149" + Com2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "May 2007",

  "1st May, 2007",
  "Materialistic Guilt Complex",
  "It seems that my Materialistic Guilt Complex has become complete; I bought <i>Selma Songs</i> by Bj&#246;rk and <i>Life in Cartoon Motion</i> by Mika yesterday for a total of Ł8.88 and spent today hating myself for such greedy wastefulness. It's not such a curse; at least my neuroses are directed primarily at myself now (I handed somebody their just-bought PS3 yesterday without feeling a desire to force-feed them all of the meals that the price of their extravagant materialism could have otherwise bought* [for some reason - timing and astonished disbelief, I think - the PS3 has become the emblem of my hatred for capitalist and social selfishness]), and the end result is that I waste far less money, give more to charity and feel generally like a nice sort of fellow. But the hangover is certainly depressing after I slip up and - golly gosh - spend any money."
+ "<br><br><font class=small>*7,000.</font>"
+ Com1 + "76" + Com2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "April 2007",

  "20th April, 2007",
  "''Take a cha-cha-cha-chance''",
  "<img style='max-width:33%' hspace=10 align=right src='../pictures/pics/misc/canofworms.jpg'>"
+ "A number of people have been asking what I'd like for my upcoming - ick - 21st birthday."
+ "<br><br>I'd like a <a href='http://www.nexternal.com/oxfam/Product43'>can of worms"+ext+"</a>."
+ "<br><br>Oxfam must have been rolling about with self-appreciatve laughter when they came up with that one. Anyway. Worms aren't the only option. Oxfam also sell <a href='http://www.nexternal.com/oxfam/Product7'>trees</a>, <a href='http://www.nexternal.com/oxfam/Product3'>books</a>, <a href='http://www.nexternal.com/oxfam/Product4'>irrigation</a>, <a href='http://www.nexternal.com/oxfam/Product8'>veterinary kits</a>, <a href='http://www.nexternal.com/oxfam/Product12'>toilets</a>, and, of course, <a href='http://www.nexternal.com/oxfam/Product10'>crocodiles</a>. Munch."
+ "<br><br><img class=imgborder style='max-width:33%' hspace=10 align=left src='../pictures/pics/misc/oxfamschooldinners.jpg'>"
+ "The <a href='http://www.oxfamunwrapped.com'>UK range</a> is even greater. My favourite is - you guessed it - <a href='http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/ProductDetails.aspx?catalog=Unwrapped&product=OU2643'>school dinners for 100 children</a>. &pound;6 for 100 meals."
+ "<br><br>Something from Oxfam Unwrapped (<a href='http://www.oxfamunwrapped.com'>UK</a> - <a href='http://www.oxfamamericaunwrapped.com'>US</a>) is genuinely what I'd like from anybody conspiring to buy me a birthday present, please. I can think of nothing that would please me more (besides a cuddle, which, like the proverbial courtesy, both costs nothing and is demanded, and as such may be given as a supplement to other gifts)."
+ "<br><br>And, in case any cynics are pondering that I'm simply suffering a brief high of unmaterialism, remember that I'm going to be spending my birthday and a good amount of time following in the typically-oh-so-rare company of my sweetheart. What more could I want? : )"
+ "<br clear=all>"
+ Com1 + "69" + Com2,
  "",

  "20th April, 2007",
  "Film poster design is a lost art.",
  "<p><img align=left src='../pictures/spacer.gif' width=100 height=400><img class=imgborder src='../pictures/pics/misc/ootp_imax.jpg'>"
+ "<p>...or else."
+ Com1 + "68" + Com2,
  "",

  "4th April, 2007",
  "Theft and hypocrisy",
  "By my dad's strict standards, even the whitest lie is sinful, to steal the merest thing reprehensible. Yet I find that he's been through the CDs that I expressly labelled \"for Oxfam\" and hoarded several (compilations, no less, the contents of which he probably already owns on other CDs) that he wants for himself."
+ "<br><br>Five hundred meals."
+ "<br><br>Thoughtless piety and self-righteousness are unpleasant to suffer; fundamentalism that results  in absurdly simplistic morals is foolish; but hypocrisy where those two are so rife is vile. It's made me very, very angry."
+ Com1 + "57" + Com2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "March 2007",

  "30th March, 2007",
  "Sausages",
  "Kris made it clear today that it simply wasn't possible to hold my job open until I return from the States. I was surprised by how worried this made me. I suppose that, despite my recent qualms, it's a job that I've been very comfortable in for nearly a year and a half now and a part of me suggests that it's foolish to give it up."
+ "<br><br>I was thinking this over when Kris returned to tell me, with much apology, that Orders had come from The Top that drinks were no longer allowed in the stockroom and that I'd have to take my (bottled, sealed) water upstairs and leave it in the staff room. This may seem like little to nothing, but I work my fingertips off for Argos, running up and down stairs, carrying furniture about, and, understandably, I drink a lot. Now, thanks to \"health and safety\", if I'm thirsty I have to run upstairs, have a swig and run back down again. Rather defeats the object, doesn't it? It's about as beneficial to my health as a week in a fridge."
+ "<div class=soundbite>\"Well, you've got to do it then, haven't you?\" I think that's a pretty good philosophy. <img src='../pictures/quoteend.png'></div>"
+ "<p align=justify>And, minor though that change was, it confirmed it for me. Argos is a nice place to work, but with my own accelerating anti-materialism and their implementation of the first (and, I do hope, only) utterly absurd legislation, it seems like a very good time to get out."
+ "<br><br>Kris wanted to be a fireman and was working at Argos while he went through the various tests necessary to get into the fire service, but at some point he was told that he wasn't going to be accepted and not to bother trying again. He's a bit of a romantic, I think, and I like him very much. Ironically, it was the delightful level of support that he gave me when he found out my plans that made me most loath to leave. I told him the plans to help alleviate Mrs. Robson's work so that she could draw pictures for my stories and he simply said, \"Well, you've got to do it then, haven't you?\" He joked about me introducing to the books a character called Kris who uses the word \"sausages\" too much (as indeed he does), and, you know, I think I might."
+ "<br><br>\"Well, you've got to do it then, haven't you?\" I think that's a pretty good philosophy."
+ Com1 + "53" + Com2,
  "",

  "29th March, 2007",
  "Knobs on the doors in America!",
  "Kris at work asked me the other day how often I see Katie in a year. \"Three or four times,\" I told him, and we both laughed. Kris is one of the loveliest people I know and he wouldn't laugh at my situation spitefully. He wouldn't laugh if I didn't also. And I laugh because, as they say, you've got to, haven't you?"
+ "\n<br><br>In any case, I'll be seeing rather less of Kris and more of Katie in the months to come. The Robsons have, absurdly generously, agreed to look after me for, not the two weeks surrounding my birthday as was planned, but a period nearer to <i>three months</i>. In no particular order, the benefits or reasons are these:"
+ "<blockquote><p align=justify>&#149; Mrs. Robson has promised to illustrate my short stories (now numbering four and a half), but, vile woman that she is, she works too hard and as such doesn't have the time - or, I would expect, the energy - to draw silly pictures of weird fuzzy critters. So, for three months, I'm going to steal as much of her work away from her as possible and chain her to a table with pencils in her hands. I'm really proud of these \"short tall tales\" and I'm genuinely hoping to have them published as soon as possible. If we can achieve that, I can earn some credit as a storyteller and perhaps some money as well, both of which are very helpful when it comes to making films (which is next on my list of vocations...)."
+ "<br><br>&#149; May, June and July are the three months that Katie will be home from college. We've never spent more than three weeks together, so three months is going to be wonderful. Honestly, spending four hundred pounds to see your fiancé for two weeks every four months is laughable, isn't it? Katie is planning to come to England for Spring semester '08, so, over the next year, we should get to spend a lot of time together."
+ "<br><br>&#149; This is a perfect reason for me to leave my job, which, as I've mentioned, I've been feeling less and less comfortable with recently. What happens when I return is uncertain at the moment (an ambiguity that I'm quite reveling in). Perhaps I'll head to Africa. I expect I'll take up street performing as I've threatened. Human statuing is fun, and I also had a wonderful notion of getting an ugly old honky tonk piano (though of course I have no idea where in London [or Colchester, or wherever] I would keep a piano, and taking along my digital piano or a keyboard just doesn't have the same charm...) and setting it up outside somewhere to play rhythm 'n' blues for passing pedestrians, which I could happily do all day long."
+ "<br><br>&#149; A lot of the people reading this are my American friends. I get to see you! Although I saw most of my closest Pineappleers last July, I haven't been to the States since - crikey - February '06, and I very much miss Betsy and Scott and Mr. and Mrs. R and Loki and <i>you</i>. It'll be strange to be, for a little while, part of the social circle, rather than just a guest. Strange and wonderful. And I'll get to meet some of Katie's extended family and watch the fireworks on July 4th. I delight in fireworks."
+ "</blockquote><p align=justify>It's moving how accommodating the Robsons are to me. I made sure everybody was given the opportunity to object to my staying for so long, because three months is a long time to intrude on other people's lives, but I'm led to believe that, as is their way, nobody raised a finger in defiance. I suppose I should expect my fiancé's family not to be too bothered about putting me up, especially given the circumstances, but I'm still unspeakably grateful for how lovely they all are to me."
+ Com1 + "52" + Com2,
  "",

  "23rd March, 2007",
  "Bad day",
//  "I'm going to break away from my usual extrospection for a touch of self-indulgence, and simply tell you about my day, which sucked."
  "The PS3 went on sale in the UK today. I sold three, and found the experience severely depressing. The cost of those three consoles would have, in Oxfam's hands, provided over 21,000 meals for African children. Am I labouring that point? Or is it a point that can't be made loudly enough?"
/*+ "<br><br>Al, who believes he is the manager at work, despite everybody else rightly believing that he's little more than a prick and certainly not in a position of any power, was in a bad mood, and decided to entertain himself by chastising me for leaving a set of keys on a shelf well out of the reach of any customers. He did so by taking the keys, then, in an attempt to scare me into thinking that they had been stolen, approaching me and muttering, \"display cabinet keys.\" Other people can get away with this sort of thing; it's very basic, and it goes like this:"
+ "<p><div class=character>Manager</div><div class=speech>Can I have the display cabinet keys please?</div>"
+ "<p><div class=action>Kinders realises that the keys are no longer where he left them.</div>"
+ "<p><div class=character>Kinders</div><div class=speech>Oh... I had left them on the shelf here.</div>"
+ "<p><div class=character>Manager</div><div class=speech>I know, I picked them up. You mustn't leave them lying around.</div>"
+ "<p>Al's method went like this:"
+ "<p><div class=character>Al</div><div class=para>(mutters)</div><div class=speech>Display cabinet keys.</div>"
+ "<p><div class=action>Kinders realises that the keys are no longer where he left them.</div>"
+ "<p><div class=character>Kinders</div><div class=speech>Oh... I had left them on the shelf here.</div>"
+ "<p><div class=action>Al just shrugs stupidly.</div>"
+ "<p><div class=character>Kinders</div><div class=speech>Kris must have picked them up.</div>"
+ "<p><div class=action>Kinders goes looking for Kris, but can't find him. Kinders can't do much but repeat:</div>"
+ "<p><div class=character>Kinders</div><div class=speech>Kris probably picked them up.</div>"
+ "<p><div class=action>Al, the tit, just shrugs stupidly, because he is a bad liar. (If he didn't have the keys, he would agree with me and stop standing there like a gormless elephant.)</div>"
+ "<p><div class=character>Kinders</div><div class=speech>Do you really not have them?</div>"
+ "<p><div class=character>Al</div><div class=speech>Yes, I've got them. When you've finished with them, straight away, you -</div><div class=para>(motions to the office)</div>"
+ "<p><div class=action>Al leaves, continuing to neglect to develop any social skills, nor to wonder how he ever came to be in a position that relies so much on being able to talk to people like they didn't just swim out of a sewage system.</div>"
*/
+ "<p align=justify>This entry was interrupted by my mom, asking me to help her move some photos from her camera to her computer. The photos were from New Year, when Katie had come to England. They made me smile. All day, when I've been thinking bad thoughts, I've said to myself, \"think about Katie,\" but it hasn't worked, because all I've been able to think about is how miserable I'm going to make her when I tell her what an awful day I've had. But I'm used to seeing Katie alone, or with Krissy, and not with me, and seeing photos of us standing together, smiling and kinda cute, has made my day."
+ "<br><br>Happy ending. Fooled you."
+ Com1 + "48" + Com2,
  "",

  "23rd March, 2007",
  "I hate the way we live",
  "I am so ashamed of Western society. We are consumed by greed; obsessively, fatuously materialistic - and it's this selfishness that causes us to steal from each other, cheat and lie to each other, hurt, kill each other. I don't want to support a society like this. I don't want to be part of a society like this."
+ "<br><br>Recently, I've been very seriously considering applying to a UK equivalent of the Peace Corps and volunteering to go to an \"underprivileged\" country to ... whatever. Farm, teach, counsel, play. To help. To support - to be part of - a society that thrives on people instead of property."
+ "<br><br>Peace Corps is exclusively for US citizens. The United Nations Peace Corps is for experienced volunteers only, as are the relevant VSO programs. Other organisations, such as United Planet, appear to be little more than tourism opportunities."
+ "<br><br>In short, I can't find a single suitable organisation."
+ Com1 + "47" + Com2,
  "",

  "19th March, 2007",
  "The last time",
  "Not listening is a little more difficult than it might seem. I had a very pleasant day today; I avoided moaning to myself, I smiled when I could have been frowning, and it was all quite delightful until, at dinner, dad opened by informing us that so-and-so's sister was in politics..."
+ "<br><br>I tried not to listen, but soon enough my heart was pounding with mirrored indignation. The opining was about how this lady had been a magistrate, one of the duties of which involved adjudicating on matters of adoption. She had recently resigned because she \"simply couldn't handle allocating a child to same-sex parents\". (The government recently ruled adoptions by same-sex couples legitimate and that to turn away potential parents on the grounds of their sexuality was unacceptable - and, in an incredible but brilliant further move, responded to the religious groups' [who run a great number of adoption centres in the UK] cries for exemption from the new law with a resounding \"no\".) He then commented that doctors are allowed to refuse to have any part in an abortion and asked, \"if they can opt out, why can't we?\""
+ "<br><br>I presume that \"we\" in this case in fact means \"she\", since, having no interactions with homosexuals, adoption agencies or orphaned children, there is nothing for my father to opt out of, except perhaps reasonable thinking. Even if the comparison made any sense, surely it would be the child, rather than the adoption agency, who should have a right to refuse the parents, and presumably they do have some such right (at the very least, they can be so difficult as to dissuade prospective parents, but I wonder how discriminatory a child genuinely in want of such care would be)."
+ "<br><br>I am going to have to learn, like Lisa Simpson, to listen to music in my mind that will block out external diatribes. Let this be the last time I write about my father's infuriating opinions. Let it be the last time that I listen."
+ Com1 + "45" + Com2,
  "",

  "18th March, 2007",
  "I am implementing some changes",
  "I am implementing some changes."
+ "<br><br>1. I am going to stop listening when my father moans about things - which is most of the time, because that is what he enjoys doing. When he moans about things, I inwardly - and sometimes on this journal - moan about him with equally angry passion. I am going to refrain from listening when he starts talking about anything topical or political, because his nonsense beefing only aggravates me. I have tried in the past to reason with him but he can't grasp reason. I must allow myself to remember that people, on the whole, are not so suggestible, gullible or ignorant as to take his rants as certainty and that, as such, his complaints are insignificant. Of course, the irony is that I am now moaning about moaning. For this reason I have made this change #1, because it was necessary that it preceded change #2 (d'uh!):"
+ "<br><br>2. I am going to stop moaning. The people that I moan to, in order of frequency, are:"
+ "<blockquote>1. Myself.<br>2. Katie.</blockquote>"
+ "<p align=justify>When I moan inwardly I find myself becoming increasingly angry, and each time it happens the anger seems to grow a little further. I have never until recently been an angry person and that is something that I <i>don't</i> intend to change. Yet I moan in my mind a lot. I moan every time somebody leaves the belt running at work. I moan when my dad lets the water drip from his washed hands across the kitchen floor and doesn't clear it up. I moan at the wind for blowing me about. When I don't moan, my state of mind is delightful to experience. Unlike my father, I'm not somebody who gains satisfaction or pleasure from moaning. So why, when it only makes me grumpy, do I moan so much?"
+ "<div class=soundbite>What's more comforting? Your CD collection, or the knowledge that somebody's child didn't die of malaria, because you gave a few pounds to buy a mosquito net? <img src='../pictures/quoteend.png'></div>"
+ "<p align=justify>I often find myself spouting cynical comments to Katie (not about her!). And even as I'm about to say them, I'm aware that I'm going to say something negative quite unnecessarily. I make little critical asides that to omit would make no difference - but for making the conversation a touch more pleasant. And I ask myself as I say them, \"why am I saying this?\" As I do with her, Katie feels down when I feel down, so it should be obvious that making grim criticisms will only make her day marginally less fun. Making a point to change society's attitude is great. Moaning on this level is really dumb."
+ "<br><br>3. I am going to take up street performing again. Working in a shop is really starting to wear me down. The job itself is pleasant enough and the people are fun to work with, but the attitude, the overall goal - not to make people happy, or to make things better, but solely to make as much money as possible - I can't maintain for much longer. Money isn't something I'm interested in, and I find this selfish purpose so cynical that I don't think I can keep it up. It nags at me like a perpetual itch in my mind. When I came back from Europe last July, I told buddy Rory about our <a href='../journal/index.html?00091'>brief stint as street artists</a>, and he asked if he could try it out with me some time. I'm going to suggest that we do when he returns from his trip across India; experimentally at first, of course. But how wonderful it would be to have a job that involves making people smile from their souls!"
+ "<br><br>4. I am going to give most of my material stuff to <a href='http://www.oxfam.org.uk/what_you_can_do/give_to_oxfam/donate/personaldonation.htm'>Oxfam"+ext+"</a>. I have piles of CDs that I don't use - not because I don't want to listen to the music but because it's all on my Macbook anyway. It's like having two copies of each CD and refusing to give up any of them. &pound;2 each week can buy 133 school dinners each month in impoverished Africa. To me, these CDs have little or no value - yet each individual CD that I own is worth nearly 60 healthy meals to deprived children. I decided last night to give them away and I took them down from the shelf and piled them up immediately, knowing that I wouldn't if I left it until the next day. Do it! Creature comforts? What's more comforting? Your CD collection, or the knowledge that somebody's child didn't die of malaria, because you gave a few pounds to buy a mosquito net? I apologise for the level of manipulation in that statement, but I'm not so apologetic that the principal doesn't still stand, and I by it."
+ "<br><br>Those are some changes that I've already begun to make. The first two I mention in part by way of apology to anybody who has suffered my grousing. The third is a prospect that makes me happy, which is always worth detailing. And the fourth, I hope, is a precedent."
+ "<p align=center>*<p align=justify>I now have so much classical music on iTunes that on a random setting most of the pieces chosen are classical. It is indescribably relaxing."
+ Com1 + "43" + Com2,
  "",

  "4th March, 2007",
  "Censorship is wrong, but the alternative to taking censorship is taking responsibility",
/*  "Sometimes human sociology seems so complex that it's not worth making the effort to try to understand it. But if it wasn't so complex, what would be the point in trying?"
+ "<p align=center>*"
+ "<p align=justify>I joined a Facebook group called \"<a href='http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2250748939&ref=mf'>Stop Production of Super Columbine Massacre RPG!!!!!!!"+ext+"</a>\" the other day. I did so without doing much reading on the matter, beyond the initial blurb, which - along with the concept itself - shocked me enough to join."
+ "<br><br>Thom challenged me on this move yesterday:"
+ quoteboxcode + "Have you played that Columbine game you are petitioning against?" + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>And, of course, I haven't. Now, following a long discussion (that I don't think is over yet) and a little research, I've removed myself from the group - but not because of points that Thom raised. Firstly, I've read accounts from people who have played <a href='http://www.columbinegame.com'>the game"+ext+"</a>. It is not designed (nor, apparently does it serve) to make violence (fictional or no) fun. People who have played the game are made uncomfortable by the fact that they are re-enacting horrific scenes from reality. I think that people who typically take pleasure in violent, sadistic games being forced to accept that these actions in reality <i>are</i> horrific is a positive thing, and that is the game's purpose. Then there's a more comprehensive reason for my change of attitude:"
+ "<br><br><img hspace=10 class=imgborder align=right src='http://www.columbinegame.com/media/Basement.JPG'>The central characters, those that the player assumes, in the SCM RPG, are not heroes, nor as they treated as heroes, and those playing the game know that they are not heroes."
+ "<br><br>Every other similar game that we sell has characters undertaking essentially the same horrific actions, and they are lauded for it. They are <i>heroes</i>. For that reason, excepting the impact that it will have on the real-life victims of the massacre, I can only find that the Columbine game is in fact slightly less reprehensible for its impact on players than most of the other RPGs available to buy in shops today."
+ "<br><br>I do believe that the overwhelming trend of films and games to suggest that, as Sean Penn put it, \"if you have good abs, it's OK to kill people\" does have a tremendous impact on social behaviour. It's for <i>that reason</i> that this is an important game. My problem with violence in films and games is that, though consciously we are aware of their fictionality, subconsciously - perhaps even consciously - we still take home the message day after day that sadism is fun. And for that reason, a game that celebrates fictional heroes shooting the shit out of people will always be more condemnable than one presenting real-life sociopaths doing the same. In its field, SCM RPG is probably the least morally dubious game out there, because it's not about consequence-free killing. It's about the consequences."
+ Com1 + "29" + Com2,
*/ RemovedEntry,


//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "February 2007",

  "21st February, 2007",
  "I love my girlfriend",
  "I love my girlfriend.<p>She makes me happy when I am sad.<p>: )"
+ Com1 + "21" + Com2,
  "",

  "17th February, 2007",
  "I hate films / I love film",
  "I didn't see films as a child, so, when I discovered the cinema at the age of fourteen, I fell in love with it and - I think immediately - found that what I wanted to do was to make my own films. At the time, the films that I wanted to make were silly action adventures that veered from plagiarising \"Star Wars\" to plagiarising \"Lord of the Rings\" depending on the season, and it's only in the last couple of years that I've come to an understanding of the potential to do truly brilliant things with the medium."
+ "<br><br>My subscription to the DVD rental service (previously ScreenSelect; now called <a href='http://www.lovefilm.com'>LoveFilm"+ext+"</a>) that I've been using expires in April, and I shan't be renewing it. Not because of <a href='../journal/index.html?00080'>arguments that I've had with them in the past</a> but because, in the year since I took out the subscription, I've come to realise that I don't enjoy watching films any more. I am a ruthless critic, and I can't truly enjoy a film that isn't utterly, infallibly brilliant; if only nineteen out of its twenty facets are perfect, I can only criticise. I've seen just one film at the cinema in the last six months; it was \"Casino Royale\" (a film that boasts less of a narrative arc than a series of uncomfortable bumps, each more painful than the last, yet has been reliably heralded by most as a brilliant revival) and it entirely convinced me not to waste any more money at the multiplex."
+ "<div class=soundbite>We are settling for a quality far less than that which is achievable. I want to change that. <img src='../pictures/quoteend.png'></div>"
+ "<p align=justify>One often hears people citing legends of film, and I think that it's borne out of a desire to have legends for the medium, rather than an existence of them. We have geniuses of music, of painting and sculpture, of literature and the stage (all much older mediums); we have also a need to label makers of films the same way. But, as yet, there have been no geniuses. So we shout Scorsese! and Spielberg! and de Palma! yet their films are smothered with a lack of invention or sense in one area or another: in writing, lighting, editing, narrative (how often is the absolute need for a solid narrative arc equally absolutely disregarded!). This upsets me, because we are settling for a quality far less than that which is achievable. I want to change that. I want to achieve something far superior, and I want viewers to settle only for such quality. I love film now more than I ever have, but watching films only depresses me, because I see only disregarded potential, I see only waste. <i>I think that the potential of film has barely been touched yet.</i>"
+ "<br><br>Come April, then, I will have essentially cut myself off from film. Already when I stop by web sites selling DVDs or I walk past Blockbuster, I'm amused by the fact that I don't recognise any of the titles advertised - a notion that I would have met with incredulity a year ago. And the fascinating thing is this: that I'm excited. To stop despairing at the state of filmmaking so far and to channel that desire for invention and creativity and brilliance into making my own films is a truly compelling idea. I'm not excited about films any more; they're nearly all rubbish. I'm excited about <i>film</i>. Film isn't rubbish at all; it's just that barely anybody has realised it yet."
+ "<p align=center>*"
+ "<p align=justify><u>Postamble</u>"
+ "<br><br>Here are some examples of my \"ruthless criticism\". (I honestly can't help being this cynical.)"
+ "<br><br>Spielberg's \"War of the Worlds\" (which is rife with errors, but I'm referencing one that few others will have spotted, to highlight my ultra pickiness) opens with a shot of a cargo bay at the docks. The camera pans from the cargo boxes that Ray (Tom Cruise's character) is moving with his crane to Ray in his crane, operating the machine. Then we cut to another shot of the cargo boxes, which pans to Ray in his crane, operating the machine. This is horrendous editing! The editor has just established the same thing twice in a row. It's akin to reading in a fictional book: \"Ray worked as a crane operator at the docks. He was a crane operator down at the docks.\" The second shot is entirely superfluous."
+ "<br><br>A more comprehensive complaint. \"V for Vendetta\" features something that few other films do: a central character who spends the entire film behind a fixed mask. This presents brilliant opportunities for inventive and exciting lighting and framing. (Think of the moment in Hitchcock's \"Psycho\" when the mummified corpse is revealed and Janet Leigh sends the light bulb swinging, creating moving shadows across the corpse's face that make it appear alive.) Yet there isn't a single creative shot in the film. I don't even remember a close up. Film isn't just a matter of putting a story on screen; a camera isn't just a means to record an image; the elements of lighting, framing, setting, movement, editing should be used to <i>say something</i> about the story that is being told and the characters that are within it."
+ "<br><br>Let's come back to Casino Royale (also packed with faults, only one of which I'll deal with), because it's a fine example of awful, awful narrative. The film starts with a superfluous sequence in which Bond achieves his \"double-oh\" status (a plot extra that is both unnecessary and confusing), then, <i>after</i> the credits, gives us what should have been (since it's also entirely irrelevant) the pre-credits sequence. But let's forgive and then forget it its befuddled beginnings. Most of the film is concerned with the casino game that he plays with villain leChiffre. Eventually, he wins the game, thus defeating leChiffre. That is the end of the narrative arc (albeit a rather unsatisfying ending, since we're all aware that we're watching a Bond film and so the villain has to die). Then the film continues. (Bump.) Eventually, leChiffre is defeated again, this time by a fatal bullet. We'll ignore for now the fact that this development goes totally unexplained. The villain is dead and Bond is safe. The narrative arc is now <i>unquestionably</i> complete. Yet the film goes on... (Bump.) ...with a tacked on love story (which, when the revelations occur, becomes absolutely implausible, but I won't explain how in case anybody capable of enjoying the film wants to see it \"unspoiled\"). Finally, this excess chapter comes to an end, only for <i>another</i> one to begin: (BUMP.) a short one, mercifully, in which Bond kills a character who I think was present at some point early in the film, and apparently has some bearing on the plot. Or maybe he's just there as a device so that Daniel Craig can say \"Bond. James Bond.\" A narrative should, as you've gathered, be an arc, going from equilibrium through disequilibrium to new equilibrium. Casino Royale goes from equilibrium to disequilibrium to new equilibrium to new disequilibrium to lengthy new equilibrium to lengthy new disequilibrium to new equilibrium to brief disequilibrium to new equilibrium. I am simply stunned that practiced filmmakers and critics can consider this to be acceptable."
+ "<br><br>I may later write about the few films that I love, so as not to be a total grump. They really are few, but I can write a lot about them because, to my mind, every aspect of them is perfect. For now, I have two more months to watch films. I'm picking those considered to be the absolute absolute best (I have \"The Seventh Seal\" and \"Metropolis\" at the moment, and I'm hoping for \"The Purple Rose of Cairo\" next). Hopefully they will at least make for a grand finale to my film viewing experiences."
+ Com1 + "17" + Com2,
  "",

  "7th February, 2007",
  "Ode to a boot chime",
  "Oh, Apple, Apple, Apple. Why have you no support e-mail address? And why, oh, why do you implement an obnoxious, loud \"boot chime\" to sound when I turn my MacBook on - with no capability to override it? Apple, did you never consider that sometimes people need to be silent? Did you not consider when you invented Airport Extreme technology that people might wish to use their MacBooks on quiet, overnight flights? Apple, for all your ingenuity, sometimes, you can be really dumb."
+ Com1 + "9" + Com2,
  "",

  "5th February, 2007",
  "Boredom",
  "This is most unusual. I think I'm having an experience of what other people refer to as \"boredom\". It's not something I'm prone to."
+ "<br><br>Uncharacteristically, I don't feel like writing films, writing stories, drawing Katie + Kin, playing the piano, reading, watching a film, listening to music, meditating; in short, of all the many things that I enjoy doing, nothing feels like it would satisfy right now."
+ "<br><br>Where does that leave me?"
+ "<br><br>Bored, I suppose."
+ "<br><br>This is most unusual. I feel so lost."
+ Com1 + "7" + Com2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "January 2007",

  "31st January, 2007",
  "The Rider's Thoughts",
  "Hell's very teeth grinding a torturous rhythm as they wreak destruction upon a torn, screaming prey: this is the sound of a plastic carrier bag as it swings between the spokes of a bicycle wheel, the catalyst of its end and the moment that time slows down for the Rider. Whether life's many memories glide by the mind's eye before death is, mercifully, not something to be revealed by this writer; but the cliché of time becoming analytically slow in a moment of genuine terror is entirely accurate. Thus, in that flash of an instant before impact, the Rider's thoughts were as follows:"
+ "<br><br>\"Shit.\""
+ "<br>\"My bag is caught in my front wheel.\""
+ "<br>\"The front wheel is going to get stuck.\""
+ "<br>\"The front wheel has stopped, yet the rest of my bike, in accordance with the physical laws of motion, continues its attempt to move onward.\""
+ "<br>\"I am going to land on my face.\""
+ "<br><br>And, with a sound and a sensation like the final deathly mouthful desperately striving to avoid its inevitable plummet into the bowels of Hell, the Rider is thrown from the bicycle, his feet and legs tangling with the handlebars as they sweep beneath, before the sore, hard collision with the ground ahead."
+ "<br><br>Never has the phrase \"take it on the chin\" been quite so macabrely appropriate."
+ "<p align=center>*"
+ "<p align=justify>It seemed like a good opportunity to test my writing skills; unfortunately for myself, the story is not a work of fiction. I think, given the terrifying truth that, for an inch to the left or the right or a slighter tilt of the head, you could seriously have been reading of this in the obituaries, it is time to buy a helmet."
+ Com1 + "4" + Com2,
  "",

  "29th January, 2007",
  "Music and conversation",
  "There are two big updates to my web site worth noting:"
+ "<br><br><a class=big href='../media/music.html'>Music section</a><br><font class=small>(Updated: now the media section)</font>"
+ "<p align=justify>In October 2005, I gave Katie a CD that I had made for her containing nine songs (or seven songs, one instrumental and a four-minute cacophonous noise, though harsher listeners would place all of the tracks into the latter category). Until yesterday, I had avoided hearing it again, because I'd convinced myself that it was awful. Listening to the songs, however, I find they're not so bad at all. So I've decided to put a few of them online for anybody daring enough to listen to."
+ "<br><br>I've also been playing piano and trumpet with my friends Rory and Alex since some time last year; our provisional \"band\" is called The Planet. There are eight of our twenty-five songs available to listen to, and if you'd like more, I'll happily send you some by e-mail or over Skype."
+ "<br><br>If you do want to listen to any (or all) of the songs, please <i>right click</i> the links and choose to download the files rather than simply clicking the link to listen on my web site. It saves me bandwidth, which means my site runs faster and you won't have to lose out on a month of Katie + Kin."
+ "<br><br><a class=big href='http://www.kinderskinley.com/forum'>Forum</a>"
+ "<p align=justify>I've finally gone and implemented an idea I've had for a long time now. I've created a forum on my web site, not because I think everybody wants to talk about me, but because it means that people can comment on my journal and on Katie + Kin directly on my site, which I think is nice. It also saves me posting my journal entries twice (once on my own site and once on LiveJournal)."
+ "<br><br>This doesn't mean that I won't be posting on LJ any more. If I write a new journal entry, I'll simply post a link on LJ that takes you to the entry on my site."
+ "<br><br>And don't remove Katie + Kin from your friends list! I'll still post updates on katieandkin.livejournal.com; but instead of taking you to a comments page, they'll take you to the relevant strip on my web site. From there you can choose to comment in the forum. In fact, this new set-up enables me to make the K+K LJ updates a little more visually pleasing (check back to tomorrow to see how!)."
+ "<br><br>So come and listen to some music (I personally recommend \"The Big Superstore Out of Town\") and then tell me what you think of it in the forum! This will be the last entry that links to LiveJournal for comments."
+ "<br><br>Love to you all,<br>Kinders. :)"
+ LJCom1 + "48072" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "19th January, 2007",
  "Why believe?",
/*
  "In continuation:"
+ "<br><br>I've come to the conclusion that my study's actions come from one of four possible mindsets:"
+ "<p><div style='position:relative; left:5%; width:90%'><p align=justify>1. Choosing to live by the Bible despite not believing the claims it makes.</div>"
+ "<p align=justify>This may initially seem absurd but it's difficult to suggest whether my study's voracity in matters concerning repressing homosexuality, prostitution, abortion, cohabitation, sexual education and freedom of speech (to name a few) is an indication that his desires to support those things are strong enough for him to live a lie, or are so strong that they can only have come from a genuine religious conviction. Isn't it possible that somebody brought up to believe in  the inferiority of women, homosexuals, children and so on could develop a taste for such prejudices without believing the supernatural notions that were taught alongside them? In such a case, purporting to believe would be a convenient way to continue such bigotry. This is the most startling of the possibilities, because it infers genuine, absolute malice and deception on the part of the \"believer\"."
+ "<p><div style='position:relative; left:5%; width:90%'><p align=justify>2. Subconsciously believing that he believes the Bible because his desire (or perceived need) to believe is so strong, when in fact his cognitive processes reject the argument as untrue.</div>"
+ "<p align=justify>I'm convinced that this is not only an entirely plausible idea but also likely and perhaps even common. People the world over have been brought up in a society dominated by religion. Our education systems, laws and notions of etiquette and morality have all been dictated in some part (in some significant part) by religion. In the West, Christianity is the catalyst. Religion, or God, is presented very distinctly as a comfort;  a guide through life;  a help in times of trouble. Arguably that is a very desirous thing: to know one's place in the \"grand scheme\", and to feel personally connected with the creator of the universe. The mind is quite capable of convincing itself of things that it very much wants to be convinced of. (Richard Dawkins' \"The God Delusion\" has some excellent comments to make on this subject.) Why, then, shouldn't it convince itself of the truth of the Bible, when to believe affords it a sense of peace, purpose, definition, being loved and listened to and all of the other personal luxuries that God promises (not least an eternity of bliss) - as well, perhaps, as perceived justification to uphold those prejudices that I've mentioned several times already. The subconscious desire to oppress, nurtured by a society obsessed with the beauty of violence and vengeance (masqueraded respectively as heroism and justice), and of course also by the countless instances of these vices in the Bible itself, would delight in an excuse to rally against various causes rationally deserving of equal rights. There are other explanations for \"believing to believe\":"
+ "<br><br>- Simple pride. To admit that ideas that one has upheld for a significant period of time are wrong, and to admit guilt to the reprehensible actions that those beliefs may have spawned, would be honourable but seriously challenging."
+ "<br>- Fear. Particularly in the USA and the Muslim world, admitting disbelief in the religion of one's family and upbringing can be devastating to a relationship."
+ "<br>- Sociology. It's a straightforward fact that atheism is considered in the USA to be about as low as one can get."
+ "<br><br>These three suggestions all suffice as reasons for an individual to have adopted option one as well."
+ "<p><div style='position:relative; left:5%; width:90%'><p align=justify>3. Genuinely believing the Bible but being guilty of selective reading to avoid having to answer arguments that contradict his beliefs.</div>"
+ "<p align=justify>This strikes me as a little oxymoronic; to believe, knowing that you have carefully selected or avoided the evidence, is essentially to <i>consciously</i> lie to yourself - in which case it is little different to the first possibility. Possibility three, however, has a second explanation: that the dogma is so fixed in the mind that even to question is considered a sin, or at least an affront to God (which is little - if any - different). If the mindset really is this strong, it implies genuine belief (and, sadly, genuine terror), which leads either to possibility two or possibility four. In either case, option three, despite being valid and no doubt in some cases true, is, by being a passage to another explanation, effectively redundant in this argument, and we shall leave it there, I suppose."
+ "<p><div style='position:relative; left:5%; width:90%'><p align=justify>4. Genuinely believing the Bible, both consciously and subconsciously.</div>"
+ "<p align=justify>This is, I'm sure, the belief that most religious people would claim. Is it any more sincere than possibility two? Which would be easier to convince a man of the falsehood of? How can somebody accept the absolute and literal truth of the Bible, in the face of overwhelming evidence contradicting its claims? \"Faith,\" I am told. But isn't that, once again, essentially consciously lying to oneself: to trust in something despite the evidence's contrary implications? It is here that the notion of ignorance becomes significant, I think: what of those who have genuinely never been subjected to a reasonable discourse on the matter? What of those not intelligent enough to follow an argument against their beliefs? What of those so explicitly taught the ways of their religion that they are essentially incapable of comprehending an alternative? I intend to face these numerous questions in a future entry."
+ "<p align=center>*"
+ "<p align=justify>I think I'm going to devote a journal entry (and, given, the enormity of option four's results, perhaps more) to each of the three remaining relevant possibilities, in an attempt to divine which applies to my study (if there is one specific answer). It's worth noting that I'm trying to make comments on more than just my study's outlook; he is typical, I believe, of a fundamentalist Christian, and fundamentalist Christians, again particularly in the USA, are not nearly as uncommon as you might suspect (or, indeed, hope)."
+ "<br><br>I also hope in a future entry to answer the question of which of the three possibilities that remain is the most desirable, either to be upheld by a person or to be dissipated."
+ LJCom1 + "47390" + LJCom2,
*/ RemovedEntry,
  "",

  "18th January, 2007",
  "Belief in belief",
/*
  "I've had three thoughtful responses to my conundrum so far, and Beattie's thoughts have spawned some more ideas that I wanted to put into an entry. So, in continuation:"+ "<br><br>Here is the most important question in this issue. There are two things that it's difficult to tell whether my study actively <i>chooses</i> or not:"+ "<p><div style='position:relative; left:5%; width:90%'><p align=justify>1. To uphold the prejudices and bigotry that he does. Does he want to uphold them and so he (subconsciously or not) uses his religion to support them, or is he simply doing what he is told and what he really believes is right?"+ "<br><br>2. To believe the Bible. Has he simply been, essentially, brainwashed since birth, to the point where questioning his beliefs is considered morally reprehensible in itself? Or has he really objectively considered the evidence and come to the conclusion that the Bible is true in its entirety? If he has, we can equally put it down to him being not terribly intelligent, and it still seems unfair to judge him for his belief (although John in his <a href='http://kinders.livejournal.com/46743.html'>response to the last post</a> suggested that it is fair to condemn people for ignorance)."+ "</div><p align=justify>In any case, unless the answer is that he very consciously upholds the Bible's teachings because he <i>wants</i> to continue to be oppressive (which is something I would need a lot of evidence to deny), he is essentially blameless for believing (disregarding for the moment John's idea; I'll get to it, John)."+ "<br><br>But there is a third possibility, I think. I have seen my study and other people (in matters not related to religion) lie to themselves so convincingly that they fall for their own fallacies. Isn't it possible that my study wants to believe the Bible (either for the security it may bring him or for the justification it provides him to oppress and rant and hurt) so much that he convinces himself of its plausibility? For example: my study would claim that evidence overwhelmingly supports Biblical \"truth\" and contradicts evolutionary biology. But it plainly doesn't. It's true that the only debate he is ever subjected to on the matter is Christian and thus not only biased but, typically in my experience, seriously poorly informed (how many times have I heard or read natural selection referred to as \"random chance\" and subsequently debunked, when <i>by definition</i> it has little to do with chance at all), but the refusal to listen to an argument from any side but one supporting his beliefs is surely an excellent example of, in effect, lying to oneself? An inspector convinced of a suspect's guilt in a crime who flatly turns away a witness contradicting his suspicions would (I hope) be taken off the investigation immediately, so obviously biased would be his \"objective\" reasoning. I've <a href='http://www.kinderskinley.com/journal/index.html?00106'>mentioned before</a> the astonishing reaction that my study himself claims he would have experienced had I presented him with a copy of \"An Illustrated A Brief History of Time\". The question now (Christ, every dubious answer leads to another question) is this: does he refuse to listen to the opposition because he does not want to be convinced that he has been wrong, or because he is so fixed in his dogma that to question is a sin itself? There is a huge difference between the two, because one suggests very clearly that he is willingly fooling himself, and the other that he is helplessly lost in teachings that go so far back (to his birth, in fact) that he cannot escape them even to question them, which not only makes judging them unfair, it provokes deep sympathy."+ "<br><br>(What a fascinating soliloquy this is; I never expected to find myself honestly writing that I am sympathetic to my study's mindset.)"+ "<br><br>So, to summarise, I think we are left with several possibilities:"+ "<p><div style='position:relative; left:5%; width:90%'><p align=justify>1. That my study does not believe the Bible on evidence, but willingly chooses to live by it anyway."+ "<br><br>2. That my study does not believe the Bible on evidence, yet has convinced himself that he does, so strong is his desire to believe (either because it provides him with the security that religious belief can, or because it justifies actions that moral reasoning does not [actions that he wishes to continue performing], or perhaps because, at this stage, he is so embroiled in religion that to escape would be phenomenally challenging and deeply hurtful to his pride. Pride is a serious vice of my study and one that will have to be accounted for later). To put it a touch confusingly, he believes that he believes the Bible."+ "<br><br>3. That my study believes the Bible on evidence but has come to this conclusion through selective reading: avoiding opposing arguments, because he does not want to disbelieve (for reasons mentioned in possibility two)."+ "<br><br>4. That my study believes the Bible both consciously and subconsciously. He wholeheartedly believes that evidence supports its truth and even contradicts scientific theories."+ "</div><p align=justify>I will come to the implications of each possibility (and consequently John's suggestion that ignorance is not a reasonable justification for hurtful actions) in a later entry. Comments on my conclusions so far are both welcome and thought-provoking. This has become quite a psychological study!"
+ LJCom1 + "47151" + LJCom2,
*/ RemovedEntry,
  "",

  "17th January, 2007",
  "To judge not by what but by why",
/*
  "I'm sure that I can be quite cold towards my study; never explicitly so, but I notice myself neglecting to offer help or join in a conversation simply because my study is involved. That reaction comes from my dislike of the way he can and regularly does act; predominately it comes from his self-righteous prejudices and bigotry."
+ "<br><br>But if that self-righteousness, those prejudices and that bigotry come from a place beyond his own intentions - which is to say, if they are there because he truly believes in them - is it fair for me to judge him for it, and consequently to be less accommodating to him than I might to others?"
+ "<br><br>Nobody would condemn a child who believes when told that the Sun orbits the Earth. In fact, nobody would condemn an adult for believing such a thing, though the adult would have to have been rather isolated from scientific teaching to accept it. They believe not through choice but because they trust whoever is teaching them, and because they know no better (you could call this gullibility, but it sounds crueler). My study's (and many others') belief in the Bible is similar. Perhaps subconsciously he believes because he very much wants to; but he has no conscious intention to believe; he was brought up this way and does not bear the reasoning faculties to question what he has been taught (in fact, he has been taught it so vociferously that even to question it would be considered dangerous). I don't think I can condemn him for believing the Bible (nor should I; believing something is hardly a vice - though it can lead to them)."
+ "<br><br>But is it fair to condemn him for matching those beliefs with his actions? A gullible and/or stupid man cruelly convinced that the engineer upon his roof fixing his aerial is an assassin would be forgiven for attempting to bring him down. Instead, we would castigate the person who initially fooled him. As far as I can see, my study is no different to that gullible man, believing that God has ordered him to keep the law favouring heterosexuals over homosexuals, foetuses and developing cells over grown humans, married couples over cohabiting couples, men over women and so on and so on. His outlook is absurd; his actions must be deterred; but to vilify him for his outlook or even his actions (which are a result of his outlook) strikes me as unfair."
+ "<br><br>People should be prevented from hurting others, no matter what the motivation (unless, of course, it is preventing further people from being hurt). But the way we consider and treat those who are apprehended is important as well. Perhaps if I were less cold, perhaps if I could allow myself to see past the unpleasantness into the reasons for it (which may well prove to be far beyond my study's intentions), perhaps if I could learn to judge people not by what they do but by <i>why</i>, I could even help to change my study's view."
+ "<br><br>On top of that, I would probably make an improvement of myself."
+ LJCom1 + "47050" + LJCom2,
*/ RemovedEntry,
  "",

  "17th January, 2007",
  "Inconsideration",
/*
  "How far (if at all) is it fair to condemn somebody for inconsideration?"
+ "<br><br>One of the women I have to work with appears incapable of pressing the button that stops the conveyer belt as she removes an item from it. It requires an effort far less significant than the ferocious noise that the belt makes upstairs (where I am, in these instances) as it continues to move. I place something on the belt and press the button to start it; thirty seconds later she removes the item and, has she any notion of consideration for others (namely me, and, a touch more reflectively, the company's electricity bill and also the environment), she also stops the belt. By now I'm away busying myself with something else, but the noise is still intrusively audible. I shouldn't have to interrupt what I'm doing, or waste time hovering by the belt until the item reaches the bottom, when she can so easily hit that button herself."
+ "<br><br>The woman in question must know she should stop the belt. I have no reason to suspect vindictiveness on her part so I can only assume that plain laziness is the motivation (if such a word isn't too ironic) for her apathy. Is this oblivious to or in spite of how it affects me? If it's the latter then it is outright egoism and it is indeed to be condemned. But then it's not inconsideration, is it? It's selfishness, ignoring my feelings despite being aware of them. If it is the former, to what extent are my irritated mutterings and curses fair on her?"
+ "<br><br>Another example: the noises my father make while he eats are typically irritating and occasionally downright disgusting. He genuinely appears not to realise that he's being so off-putting. When my mother remarks diplomatically that he's \"being rather noisy\", he mutters, \"it's hot!\" (when mom intervenes the sounds are usually of air being sucked into his mouth to cool the food he incredibly never learns to blow upon <i>before</i> consuming) and quietens a little, until the next meal. Other times he slurps and smacks and burps and sometimes even spits, never intentionally repulsively, but usually so just the same."
+ "<br><br>These two examples are only minor (although, Christ, the \"cacomony\" of that belt is infuriating), and, in both cases, if inconsideration is the cause, should be rectifiable simply by mentioning to the perpetrators how much displeasure they are creating. But it leads to a similar question on a more significant scale: how far can we condemn people for genuinely not believing (<i>believing</i>, not seeing) that their actions are unfair? I passionately hate some of the ideals that my father stands for, but he stands for them because he really does believe that standing for those things is appropriate. His stance on gay rights, for an (obvious and overused, sorry) example, is plainly wrong, but he supports it because he really thinks it right. I'm not suggesting letting him instigate his ideals, of course, and I'm certainly not defending them; but am I justified in thinking less of him for upholding those beliefs?"
+ "<br><br>A criminal can claim insanity as a factor in his crimes and receive an altogether different treatment as a result. Is the fact that my father fights against equality because he thinks that a divine being has ordered him to any different?"
+ "<br><br>It's a fascinating question, I think; one that I haven't come to much of a conclusion to yet, and one that I'll be pondering for some time."
+ LJCom1 + "46743" + LJCom2,
*/ RemovedEntry,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "December 2006",

  "23rd December, 2006",
  "The fundamentalist mind",
  "I should preface this journal entry by saying - because it's not entirely clear and could be misinterpreted - that this entry is not intended to be judgemental: rather reflective. I've spent a long time studying my father and, while I'm often appalled at what I see or hear, in this instance I'm curious more than disturbed. As ever, I suspect (and hope) that few people ever instigate anything out of a desire to cause harm, rather through a lack of empathy or understanding or education or foresight."
+ "<p align=center>*"
+ "<p align=justify>Earlier this year, I bought my dad a copy of An Illustrated A Brief History of Time for his birthday before realising that such an attempt to illuminate him both was futile and would probably only inspire an equally hopeless argument, so I kept the book for myself (and have since used it as a reference on several occasions). I mentioned this to him for the first time, today, and he responded, \"that's just as well: it would probably have made my blood boil.\""
+ "<div class=soundbite>How do you go about challenging somebody so self-assured that they will not be challenged? <img src='../pictures/quoteend.png'></div>"
+ "<p align=justify>Naturally, I've grown up in his presence and I am used to his stance, but the comment genuinely quite shocked me. It wasn't spoken threateningly; but merely the fact that somebody could feel such burning anger at somebody for deconstructing their beliefs (or, far more precisely, constructing an alternative truth that doesn't correlate with those beliefs) really struck me. Just the indirect suggestion that my dad should question his faith (in fact, that he should take notice of the arguments of others who are questioning his faith) would have severely offended him. How do you respond to such a powerful (indeed, zealous) state of mind? How do you go about challenging somebody so self-assured that they will not be challenged?"
+ "<br><br>I've long regarded my dad as a fundamentalist. Fundamentalism is not to be confused with terrorism (the latter usually stipulates the former, but not vice versa); my dad sees things as very distinctly black or white, right or wrong: he sees things as fundamentals. Homosexuality is wrong. Sex outside of marriage is wrong. Swearing is wrong. Even lying is wrong, and each of these under any circumstances. All of these things, of course, stem from his fundamental belief in the truth of The Bible: a belief which, by definition, cannot be challenged. It cannot be wrong. It is not wrong."
+ "<br><br>I ask the following as a rhetorical question (as a mark of resignation), a general question (\"how does one...?\") and a personal question (\"how do/would you...?\"):"
+ "<br><br>How do you respond to that?"
+ LJCom1 + "46123" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "4th December, 2006",
  "Creative crisis",
  "I guess I've been having a bit of a creative crisis recently. I find I barely ever write, my films are rarely given a thought and, for the first time, I don't have a wealth of "+kakLink+" strips backed up ready to go online. I'm questioning whether it's worth paying 65GBP to continue drawing it."+ "<br><br>Creativity is essentially all I have in my private time. Sometimes I read, sometimes I'll watch a film; any other time, I want to be writing or drawing or composing or imagining. I'm as susceptible to \"block\" as anybody else, but to experience it upon the three significant areas that I'm working on is glum. Of course, it's not something one can force. There's little I can do but wait. Waiting so long for something you're so used to having, though, is a painful betrayal and a bore. "+ "<br><br>If I wasn't such a perfectionist, no doubt, I could just <i>write</i>. Just do it. But if I wasn't such a perfectionist, the end result wouldn't turn out perfect."
+ LJCom1 + "45913" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "November 2006",

  "29th November, 2006",
  "A God of peace",
  "Prior to dinner tonight I was talking about the incomparably stunning nature documentary <i>Planet Earth</i>, which, recently, has been showing some really disturbing scenes of violence between animals. I suffered really conflicting emotions condemning a red fox attacking a nest of fluffy young geese before sympathising as she hurried home to feed her own offspring. Then this week's offering really upset me."+ "<br><br>When it was time for my father to give thanks, he began, in what I assume was an attempt at relevance, with the words \"We thank you that you are a God of peace...\". I fail to see how the notion of a God of peace can be reconciled against a group of monkeys cannibalising the young of their rivals to no purpose. Some Christians would suggest that \"the sinfulness of man\" is the cause, as they are wont to cite in explanation of other natural violence, but my not unexercised reasoning abilities falter at the justification by a merciful \"God of peace\" for a baby monkey to be punished for the crimes of man."+ "<br><br>Non-human animals do not have souls, they tell me, which is why we may kill and eat them at our pleasure. I cannot help but consider them blessed by this deficit, for they are not required to believe in the righteousness of a vengeful and violent deity for reprieve from eternal damnation."
+ "<p align=center>*"+ "<p align=justify>Planet Earth is a truly incredible show. It's on BBC1 on Sundays at the moment and will be airing on the Discovery Channel in the US next Spring. Despite the recent unpleasant sequences, it's absolutely unquestionably worth a watch and I implore you to catch it if you can."
+ LJCom1 + "45667" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "16th November, 2006",
  "I'm looking for pound notes, loose change, bad cheques - anything",
  "I've just upgraded to a Mac and, following about a week of hunting and downloading and experimenting and tutting, I've finally found programs that will enable me to continue drawing "+kakLink+" - and a slightly improved but seriously similar Katie and Kin - on the new machine - but those programs cost money: 65GBP (that's 120USD). Now, I am aware of two important facts here: first, that the necessity for new programs and consequently the spending of money was precipitated by the spending of much money on the Mac in the first place, thus perhaps rendering my cries of \"but I've already spent so much money!\" rather difficult to sympathise with (I can, at least, claim that my PC was on its very last prosthetic leg and begged replacement); and second, that most of the readers of K+K are seriously indebted students with grey hairs surfacing over the question of where the next sandwich is coming from, let alone the next comic strip."
+ "<br><br>Having raised those facts and thus noting importantly that, first, I refuse to allow anybody to feel pressured by this entry into giving me any money and will certainly not be upset if I don't receive a pennycent, and, second, that I intend to buy these programs and continue to draw Katie + Kin regardless of how successful this plea is, I'd simply like to suggest that anybody willing to make this a little easier for me by giving 4 or 5USD, 2 or 3GBP, or even less, will be thanked most explicitly."
+ "<br><br>This is how the new Katie + Kin will look:"
+ "<p align=center><img style='max-width:550' src='http://www.kinderskinley.com/katieandkin/logo.png'>"
+ "<p align=justify>If you'd like to and can afford to, please:"
+ "<p><a href='../kak/index.html'><img src='https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/btn/x-click-but21.gif'></a>"
+ "<br><br>Alternatively, you could buy something in the <b>Katie + Kin shop</b> <font color=red>(now closed)</font>, each sale from which proffers me a few dollars. I haven't yet decided whether to replace the current designs, featuring what will soon be slightly outdated versions of Katie + Kin, or keep them for nostalgia's sake; if I choose the former, you may perhaps possibly potentially even be making something of an investment."
+ "<p align=right><a class=forum href='http://katieandkin.livejournal.com/6381" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "October 2006",

  "28th October, 2006",
  "Katie + Kin",
  "I just wanted to have a slightly self-indulgent chat about "+kakLink+". I have quite a lot of things on the go: films, books, web sites, none of which have yet been presented to any but a few select people, and it really makes me happy to think that I've got this regular comic strip on the internet, and - I think - it's consistently not bad at all. It's strange to think that there are only presently 17 strips online; it feels like I've been drawing it for years. I don't know whether the reason Katie + Kin only have 13 LiveJournal friends (two of which are Rew) is because people aren't interested in it, or people haven't yet found it, or people are reading it on kinderskinley.com instead of LiveJournal. I'd really like to find out that it's more popular than that, or to see more people friending it, because I think Katie + Kin is really, really nice."
+ "<br><br>I guess I just wanted to say - perhaps because I don't too often get a chance to - that I'm proud of me."
+ LJCom1 + "44717" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "17th October, 2006",
  "Practicality and idealism",
  "Life and the decisions we make should be a constant fight between practicality and idealism. The ideal must never give in to its most reasonable alternative, nor should realism or pragmatism ever be neglected in placation of the unobtainable dream of absolute perfection."
+ "<br><br>This is what makes life beautiful. Standing on the lighter side of the scales, we see the despair on the heavier side, but when everything is balanced, we can glide from side to side. The challenge is not to make the ideal real, for that is impossible - the challenge, and the wonder of the conclusion when we achieve it, is to make reality into the ideal."
+ LJCom1 + "44176" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "12th October, 2006",
  "Honda",
  "The British advertisers for Honda are brilliant."
+ "<br><br><a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZo1m2ZUDl8'>Whatif?"+ext+"</a>"
+ "<br><a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0y-d0AuBzQ'>Is your car a bus?"+ext+"</a>"
+ "<br><a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXf5UUnLzwQ'>Hate is a good thing"+ext+"</a>"
+ "<br><a href='http://www.ephinx.com/tvadverts/tvadvert.php?id=4'>Yume no Chikara (The Power of Dreams)"+ext+"</a>"
+ "<br><a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hi24lpFQY4I'>This is what a Honda feels like"+ext+"</a> (you'll need headphones or decent speakers for this one)"
+ "<br>and, finally, the unsurpassable <a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y-DKvR8PqE'>Cog"+ext+"</a> (I think it enhances the experience knowing that this is entirely real)"
+ "<br><br>If anybody can find the \"Everybody hates tractors\" ad (I believe it's called \"Pecking order\"), I'd be delighted."
+ "<br><br>I just wanted to put those out there, because they're better than most films. I barely watch television any more, but I <i>love</i> good advertising."
+ LJCom1 + "43863" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "2nd October, 2006",
  "Why would you want this on your wall?",
  "<p align=center><img class=imgborder src='../pictures/pics/misc/october.jpg'>"
+ LJCom1 + "43255" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "September 2006",

  "23rd September, 2006",
  "Incidentally",
  "Incidentally:"
+ quoteboxcode + "The 2006 Bridport Prize competition is now closed. The judging has finished and all prize winners have been contacted." + quoteendcode
// EDITED
+ "<p>Damn."
+ LJCom1 + "42552" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "23rd September, 2006",
  "Censorship for the greater good",
  "Here's an interesting one."
+ "<br><br>I'm not one of those who <i>enjoy</i> swearing; I don't revel in it or strive to fit a curse between every other word like some. But I do appreciate the extra items in my vocabulary, and I'm not counted in the gathering of people who worry that each time they say \"fuck\" a fuckfairy will die."
+ "<br><br>My general philosophy on morality, as most of you will know, is this: that what is wrong is what forseeably does more harm than good (commence debate on the definitions of \"harm\" and \"good\"). Given that I use \"swear words\" (let me presently make known my distaste for the categorisation, which suggests that there is something to differentiate these words from the rest of the language, when in fact the difference is the product of the labelling itself) as I use any other word in the English language and without prejudice, I can't claim that I gain any especial pleasure from uttering them. I only find them useful, as I do the words \"revolting\", \"fascinating\", \"sad\". To stop using swear words, though difficult at first, would not throw me into a depression. And some people have a problem with swearing. Some people have a problem with hearing other people swearing. And, however unreasonable their request, I can't deny the fact that for me to stop using these words when such offendable characters are liable to hear or read them would be to do something that forseeably does more good than harm."
+ "<br><br>Some would suggest that it's a matter of principle: that I should be free to use whichever words I wish and that those who tut and grimace and leave the room in response are suffering only from their own superstition. This assertion is correct. But I am free to use those words. If I choose not to for the sake of someone else's contentment, is that anything but commendable on my part? As for the phrase \"a matter of principle\", it stinks of fundamentalism to me. \"Matters of principle\" are entirely contradictory to the philosophy set out at the beginning of this essay. I don't believe that anything should be based on principle; I suggest that everything should be based on circumstance. (I also realise the slight irony of making such a straightforward assertion.)"
+ "<br><br>It's hardly a life-changing issue, but, as ever: discuss."
+ LJCom1 + "42319" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "19th September, 2006",
  "Sad news",
  "I just found out that one of my past headteachers is in a mental hospital. His young wife died while he was still head of our school, and he went on to have a mental breakdown, though I hadn't realised how far it has since come. (It's sad because he was a reasonable man, and friendly, and, for all my issues with the British education system, I quite liked him.) It's strange to think of someone that you know in a situation like that. It's strange to think that somebody can steer so far from who they once were, perhaps irreversably. I refuse to acknolwedge that there is such a thing as insanity, but it's horrid that people can become so obtuse within their own heads that they're dangerous, or unable to look after themselves, or, worse, unable to be looked after by those of their friends or family who would like to. Having to commit a friend, a father, a brother to that must be heartbreaking."
+ "<br><br>Some news you hear just makes you want to cry."
+ LJCom1 + "41833" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "August 2006",

  "31st August, 2006",
  "A problem",
  "<p align=center><img src='../pictures/pics/misc/cah_violence.gif' style='max-width:550'>"
+ "<p align=justify>I have a real problem with violence in films. This may surprise some people, especially since I am typically incredibly liberal about such matters, particularly where film is concerned. You can argue it all you like, but people watch films that - to use the cliché - glorify violence and, subconsciously or not, they think, pain and violence and sadism is sexy and cool and beautiful."
+ "<br><br>Last Christmas I caught a news item on the radio. The story was of two girls who had been kidnapped and taken into a car park by a gang who had put pillowcases over their heads, and told one that she was going to hear her friend die, before they stabbed that friend repeatedly in the chest and neck. The second girl received a gunshot to her head - one which, incredibly, she survived."
+ "<br><br>At that moment I told myself that I just could not justify presenting violence as exciting, or entertaining, or beautiful; nor could I justify others doing it."
+ "<div class=soundbite>I was revelling in the fact that I had this gruesome story to tell... <img src='../pictures/quoteend.png'></div>"
+ "<p align=justify>I'm not for censorship at all, but I am for self-censorship. Filmmakers should take the responsibility themselves. The culprits of the Columbine shootings entered the room of the crime dressed all in black, wearing long leather coats, and punted bullets into everybody there. I think that the first two thirds of The Matrix are truly brilliant. I think that the last third is worthless bilge typical of any Hollywood film; I think that the filmmakers resort to shooting everybody in sight in slow motion and expect us to be entertained."
+ "<br><br>And we are."
+ "<br><br>I have a real problem with that."
+ "<br><br>Tonight, sat in the train sat in the station on my way home, I saw the most disgusting thing I have ever seen one human do to another. It made me feel sick for some time afterwards. It was horrific, and for the rest of the train journey and most of the walk home, I planned this journal entry, and imagined myself telling my friends and my family and others of what I had seen and the horror of it."
+ "<br><br>And then I realised how passionate I was becoming about the brutal details of this display; how much I was revelling in the fact that I had this gruesome story to tell."
+ "<br><br>What kind of person does that make me? Any better than those filmmakers?"
+ "<br><br>So this is my challenge to you: don't ask me what I saw. Don't think about it, ponder it, don't begin to imagine it. Close off the sadistic-voyeuristic passions that drive your curiosity on this matter. If you can really escape the powerful desire to hear of human brutality, I cannot commend you enough. For whatever reason or none, we're developed to lust over that gore, and I have a real problem with that too."
+ LJCom1 + "41095" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "22nd August, 2006",
  "Katie + Kin",
  ""+kakLink+"."
+ "<br>(It's oh so self-referential.)"
+ "<br><br><a href='http://www.kinderskinley.com/katieandkin'>Here's the strip in its pure form</a>                                      "
+ "<br>and"
+ "<br><a href='http://katieandkin.livejournal.com/'>Here's the LJ"+ext+"</a>, so that you never miss a strip!"
+ LJCom1 + "40331" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "10th August, 2006",
  "17 years old",
  "One of the suspects arrested in yesterday's rather monumental raids was 17 years old. When I was 17 years old, I had only recently begun to really question and challenge the superstitions that my parents taught me as truth; and I am, I think, a fairly strongminded type. 17 years old and brainwashed enough to be ready to take part in a plot to kill thousands and oneself. It only convinces me further that the people who suggest that religion should be tagged with an official age of consent, like sex and marriage and drinking alcohol, are entirely correct. Give them a chance to develop sufficient reasoning and questioning abilities before you pump tragic ancient rules into their minds."
+ LJCom1 + "39782" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "9th August, 2006",
  "NO2",
  "It's time for another rant against a crappy corporation. I do do it for the sake of the people reading, and not just because I'm angry. Honest."
+ "<br><br>Today I called O2 (a mobile phone service provider in the UK) to tell them that I wanted to cancel my contract. My mobile phone is as good as dead and, were I to continue with a contract deal that allowed me a replacement phone, I would have had to pay at least &pound;20 a month - an amount that wouldn't be justified, since I only text and call to the value of &pound;5 or &pound;6 each month."
+ "<br><br>So I responded to the electronic lady's suggestion that \"if you would like to cancel your contract, please press '2'\". I pressed \"2\". Following which I was connected to a lady who, I can only assume, gets bewilderingly fantastic commissions for keeping customers under the thumb of O2, since there was absolutely no way that she was going to allow me to cancel my contract. At first she was friendly and offered me a nice deal with a free phone and such and such texts and calls for &pound;10 a month. I considered it, but I've already bought a new Pay As You Go phone, so I decided against her offer."
+ "<br><br>Then she got angry."
+ "<br><br>She started arguing with me. Arguing. Not shouting, but a raised voice, an impatient tone. I told her I just wanted to cancel my contract. She told me (Descartes would have loved this), \"But your contract won't be cancelled, because we need 30 days notice.\" \"Then I'd like to give 30 days notice to cancel my contract.\" \"But your contract won't be cancelled now, because we need 30 days notice.\" Eventually she resorted to doing calculations to prove to me that her deal would be preferential to the Pay As You Go deal that I'd already arranged. \"Forty minutes of calls a month at 12 pence a minute, that's about ... four pounds a month ... \" she began, before a rather long pause as she realised that I was, in fact and in short, right."
+ "<br><br>After ten or fifteen minutes, she let slip that I couldn't cancel my contract over the phone. I wondered which button I had pressed when I was told, \"if you would like to cancel your contract, please press '2'\"."
+ "<br><br>What the electronic lady had meant was, \"if you would like to cancel your contract, please press '2', whereupon an O2 employee will keep you on the phone indefinitely (on a national rate charge) in an attempt to coax you back to our business. There is, in fact, no chance of you cancelling your contract. It is inconceivable.\""
+ "<br><br>I didn't manage to extract from her the address that I needed to send written confirmation to if I was to actually cancel my contract."
+ "<br><br>Afterwards, I went onto the O2 web site (it's a sorry fact that I feel I can rely on the machines to suit my needs better than the humans) and found the option to cancel my contract."
+ "<br><br>Later on, I received an e-mail."
+ quoteboxcode + "I am sorry that you want to cancel your Pay Monthly contract."
+ "<br><br>As your contract started on 03 August 2005, you are eligible to cancel your contract now. I have forwarded your details to our Cancellation department. They will contact you within the next five days to discuss the termination of your account."
+ "<br><br>If you want to discuss terminating your account at a time more convenient to yourself, please contact our Cancellation department on ..." + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>... following which was the number that I had called in the morning. The \"Cancellation department\" is, in fact, the department that I connected with in the morning."
+ "<br><br>I don't want to discuss the termination of my account. I want to witness it. O2's \"Cancellation department\" is much like a Returns department in a shop that consists of a man who'll slap you with a rotten fish when you bring back your faulty goods. \"Another satisfied customer,\" he'll say as you walk away, soggy and bruised. \"We are particularly efficient at providing returns.\""
+ "<br><br>Assuming I'm able to, I'll be glad to get away from O2."
+ LJCom1 + "39538" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "8th August, 2006",
  "Photomographs, and a story",
  "I'm happy to say that I've finally finished sorting through the 161 best photographs from the Eurotrip to put them online. Pictures from Killarney, Dublin, Paris, Brussels (a whole one photo), Amsterdam, Berlin and London begin <a href='javascript:openImg(\"../kinders/pictures.html\",\"title=../pictures/pics/kin/killarney_national_park\");'>here</a>."
+ "<br><br>I only want to tell one story from the Eurotrip (though I've mentioned another significant event already in this journal), because it was something most people don't get to do, and it was brilliant."
+ "<br><br>On the third to last day of our lengthy trip, Katie, Rew and I bought face masks and put on matching clothes and went to stand outside the Tower of London as human statues. We held our poses and, when folks put money in our little hat, we bowed before them like they were gods, or we kissed and shook their hands, or we waved cheerily. I think we made one beaming man's day just by waving (and I think he made ours by throwing in a whole pound). We had three little children approach us and, for what seemed like an eternity, stare and jump and wonder at the statues: \"are they real?\" \"why don't they move?\"."
+ "<br><br>Apparently we were hard at work for about ten minutes, though it felt like at least twenty. We earned a little over three pounds (and in the evening), which, if we really did only stand for ten minutes, is a good six pounds an hour each between the three of us. And, despite what standing dead still in a sweaty mask and worshipping passing strangers may sound like to anybody else, it was brilliant fun. As soon as I get a chance to, I'll be doing it again."
+ LJCom1 + "38528" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "July 2006",

  "28th July, 2006",
  "Why cry about being apart when we can celebrate being together?",
  "<i><u>Preamble</u>"
+ "<br><br>A few weeks ago I trotted upstairs at work to find manager Darren and inform him that I might have made my Big Mistake of the day. Most days I do something unprecedentedly thick, and this time I'd been looking up a product on the computer and hit the wrong button by accident, causing a scary past-tense verb (the actual instance of which I've since forgotten) to appear on the screen in angry capitals. Being a good employee, I thought I'd better tell Darren, in case I'd incinerated some stock or something similar. It turned out I hadn't, but it led to some questions, because my job at Argos is to pick items and send them down the belt when people buy them; the only products that I don't pick are jewellery - yet here I was looking up a diamond ring on the computer. The first question was, \"why were you looking up a ring?\" The answer was, \"I wanted to see whether we had this one in stock.\""
+ "<br><br>To which, with a knowing smirk, manager Darren replied,"
+ "<br><br>\"That's your second Big Mistake.\"</i>"
+ "<p align=center>*"
+ "<p align=justify>Until Kris asked me whether I was somewhere romantic when I \"did the deed\", it hadn't occurred to me that \"in a hostel\" is about as unromantic a place as you can get. I don't know how much of a salvation the fact that it was a Parisian hostel is. We were snuggling on our bed and we were happy. It seemed like the perfect place to propose. It still does."
+ "<p align=center>*"
+ "<p align=justify>It's interesting to note the different reactions of the males and the females at work. The men are, essentially, Typical Males, and the women Typical Females, so the guys responded with comments about being tied down for the rest of my life (Al commented upon my being \"screwed for life\", a prospect that I pointed out didn't sound so bad) and the girls were delighted. In fact, given that I'm only really acquainted with them, I was delighted in return by how very pleased they were that I was engaged; they were genuinely incredibly happy for me. It made me smile."
+ "<p align=center>*"
+ "<p align=justify>Both Manager Darren and Evi asked me if I got down on one knee; I pointed out that that's far too traditional for me. What actually happened was this: we were in love, and I asked Katie to marry me please. We will always be in love, and she said, \"yes\"."
+ "<p align=center>*"
+ "<p align=justify><i><u>Postamble</u>"
+ "<br><br>- Katie and I are not getting married any time soon. But we live 3,000 miles apart and get to see each other three or four times a year, for a period of one or two weeks, and knowing that, despite the difficult circumstances, we're going to be together, makes us both feel wonderful."
+ "<br><br>- Katie's mom seemed less than pleased at the news, but we've since discovered that she was somehow under the misapprehension that I had wanted the engagement kept secret from her. I'm led to understand that she's far happier about the situation now that that's been cleared. She doesn't trust us not to get married before Katie finishes college, but that's okay because, though I'll try my best, nor do I."
+ "<br><br>- I'll be putting up some photographs from the Eurotrip soon. I have a lot."
+ "<br><br>- This is a good place to note that my big brother, Ed, also got engaged recently and plans to marry Cat in April, so congratulations are due all round.</i> : )"
+ LJCom1 + "37777" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "3rd July, 2006",
  "Long live rock.",
  "Yesterday I saw and heard the greatest rock band in history perform live. Rory's expression just about says it all:"
+ "<p align=center><img class=imgborder src='../pictures/pics/kin/thewho_rory_excited.jpg' style='max-width:550'>"
+ "<p align=justify>Oh my good lord, what an experience. The Who followed some unmemorable American band with an equally relevant name, Ocean Colour Scene, The Zutons and Razorlight, all of whom delivered mediocre performances - and, honestly, they didn't stand a chance supporting Daltrey and co."
+ "<br><br>I can't explain (...) why they didn't perform <i>Join Together</i>, but opening with an updated version of (...) <i>I Can't Explain</i> was smart, and they went on to do most of the classics (Rory was sorry not to hear <i>Squeezebox</i>, and we all wanted to hear <i>I Can See for Miles</i>). Baba O'Riley was stunning (with Daltrey playing harmonica in place of the violin), as was the moment when, having stood motionless with the mic in the air for two or three minutes during <i>Won't Get Fooled Again</i>, Daltrey did The Scream, accompanied by the whole of Hyde Park."
+ "<p align=center><img class=imgborder src='../pics/art/Meet_the_new_boss.jpg' style='max-width:550'>"
+ "<p align=justify>They played one song from the forthcoming album (which Townshend modestly informed us was \"brilliant\") - it sounded just like everything they wrote in the 70s, which sounds perfect to me."
+ "<br><br>I'm pretty miffed that they should tell me in advance that I can't bring my super-duper camera and then be so lax on security. Either tell me I can't have it and make sure I don't, or just let me bring it in. As it was, I could only risk taking along my compact camera and the zoom and the white balance weren't very effective, so I only got a handful of decent photographs:"
+ "<p align=center><img class=imgborder src='../pictures/pics/misc/who1.jpg' style='max-width:550'>"
+ "<p align=center><img class=imgborder src='../pictures/pics/misc/who2.jpg' style='max-width:550'>"
+ "<p align=center><img class=imgborder src='../pictures/pics/misc/who4.jpg' style='max-width:550'>"
+ "<p align=center><img class=imgborder src='../pictures/pics/misc/who3.jpg' style='max-width:550'>"
+ "<p align=justify>I didn't manage one of Townshend doing the windmill (he did it enough, to uproarious cheering), and this is the best I got of Daltrey's microbatics (which were just as regular and somehow brilliant):"
+ "<p align=center><img class=imgborder src='../pictures/pics/misc/who5.jpg' style='max-width:550'>"
+ "<p align=justify>All I have is photographs, of course, and it's not very fascinating, because it's <i>The Who</i>, and <i>you have to hear it</i>."
+ "<br><br>Finally, probably the greatest not quite intentionally taken photograph in the history of the medium:"
+ "<p align=center><img class=imgborder src='../pictures/pics/kin/thom_and_stranger.jpg' style='max-width:550'>"
+ LJCom1 + "37260" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "June 2006",

  "24th June, 2006",
  "Kind of Sad Sound",
  "Congratulations to those of my friends who graduated today. I'm glad that you're my friends. : )"
+ "<br><br>I had some fun on the piano again tonight, and put together the following. I guess it's the sort of thing fans of the second half of Moby's <i>Play</i> might enjoy. I recommend you use headphones because I can't hear the vocally mumbling through my computer speakers."
+ "<br><br><a href='../media/kk_kind_of_sad_sound.mp3'>Kind of Sad Sound</a>"
+ "<br><br>It sounds kind of sad. Sorry."
+ LJCom1 + "36624" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "17th June, 2006",
  "I have a soul, and my computer wants it",
  "Ironically, given the medium of this text, I spend far too much time on the computer."
+ "<br><br>My computer is full of fascinating facts, tidbits of trivia, conspiracies and minor news items, most of which are probably not entirely true (or entirely not true). Each one seems to lead to another, like an infinite treasure hunt, like Somerset in Seven says: \"even the most promising clues usually lead only to other clues.\" You could spend an eternity hunting the end of this ream of enthralling nonsense. I don't want to, any more."
+ "<br><br>My computer is full of morons who I can only assume work desperately hard to prove to me how unintelligent they are. They are not only infuriating, they use the anonymity of the internet as a wall from behind which they can throw their ammunition at me. This same wall prevents them from seeing who I am. I'm tired of explaining who I am; I'm tired of that wall. I don't want to argue with them any more."
+ "<br><br>In a little corner of my computer is a group of my friends. They don't belong in my computer. They belong in my arms, in my lounge, in my eyesight, in my local pub. I hope to rescue them one day."
+ "<br><br>My computer is my only means to talk to my girlfriend. It likes to tease me, breaking and slowing down and aggrivating us both every other night. I want to hold her, and kiss her, and look into her eyes as I talk to her, and see her smile. My computer is the life support machine that I want to destroy for being the physical manifestation of our distance but which I can't, because it's all that keeps us together."
+ "<br><br>My garden is full of pretty flowers. I like to take photographs of them."
+ "<br><br>The world is full of pretty people. I like to make memories of them."
+ "<br><br>I'd like to make a memory of you. I'll see you around."
+ LJCom1 + "36144" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "13th June, 2006",
  "Julie knew her killer",
  "<p align=justify>Every so often in the UK we have adverts that warn us to wear seatbelts, not to speed, not to drink and drive, and so on. There's one example (you can see it <a href='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcJVOu8WTAI'>here"+ext+"</a>) that seems to be regarded as the most famous, or the most effective, the most impacting. It features a woman driving her car with her daughter in the passenger seat and her son in the back. She's clearly being tailed by an ominous white van and she keeps glancing back and into the mirror to see it, and the narrator intones, \"Like most victims, Julie knew her killer.\" Watching in the mirror, Julie is relieved to see the van turn away from their route. But as her eyes focus ahead of her again, she realises what is about to happen, and the car collides with another in front of her. The narrator says, \"It was her son, who was sitting behind her without a seatbelt.\" The son is relatively unharmed, and the narrator finishes, \"After crushing her to death, he sat back down.\""
+ "<p align=justify>I find it interesting that in the society we inhabit, which is based entirely upon egoism - do this or I'll spank you; do this or they'll put you in prison; do this or He'll send you to Hell; forget everyone else, do this or it'll be bad for you - the most affecting warning in this case is one that says, \"do this or you'll hurt somebody else.\""
+ "<p align=justify>I don't have any conclusions to draw from this. I just find it interesting."
+ LJCom1 + "35231" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "4th May, 2006",
  "Bridport Prize 2006",
  "I'm going to enter two stories into this year's <a class=ext href='http://www.bridportprize.org.uk/'>Bridport Prize"+ext+"</a>. At least, I plan to. There is a 5,000 word limit and both stories are a little too long, and I'm finding it impossible to cut anything out. I don't think what I've written is really what they're looking for - peculiar, rambling children's stories - but I do think that that might give me an advantage..."
+ "<br><br>Anyway, I'm just letting you know so that you can wish me luck. : )"
+ "<br><br>Update: the Bridport version of my first story is now 4,994 words long. The Bridport version of the second is now 4,998 words long. Hooray!"
+ LJCom1 + "34671" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "2nd June, 2006",
  "Hold my hand",
  "<i>Human hands and fingers are the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle; when they every one interlock, they form the outside edge, ready for the great work of art, the big picture, the solution to the puzzle, to form within.</i>"
+ LJCom1 + "34484" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "May 2006",

  "31st May, 2006",
  "Furthering my scientific education",
quoteboxcode + "Reading this book will have increased the amount of ordered information in your brain. However, during the same time, the heat released by your body will have had a much greater effect increasing the disorder in the rest of the universe: about ten million million million times the increase in order in your brain. I suggest you stop reading now." + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>I've been reading (very slowly) <i>An Illustrated A Brief History of Time</i> by Stephen Hawking. It's astonishing how accessible he's made some of the most complicated scientific ideas in history, and he has a brilliant sense of humour to support it."
+ "<br><br>Look at this distinctly Python-esque illustration, which, in the context of the book, sounds more like a suggestion than a hypothesis:"
+ "<p align=center><img class=imgborder src='../pictures/pics/misc/aibhot.jpg'>"
+ "<p align=justify>It may be the best illustration ever."
+ "<br><br>More later."
+ LJCom1 + "34265" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "25th May, 2006",
  "Follow-up",
  "<i><font class=small>Dear Kinders,"
+ "<br><br>Thank you for your email."
+ "<br><br>We are sorry to hear that you feel this way. Pleae note that we do not guarantee that we will always dispatch DVDs to you on the same day that we receive them back, but our aim is turnaround dispatches within one working day."
+ "<br><br>Should you have any more queries, please feel free to contact us again."
+ "<br><br>Kind regards,"
+ "<br><br>[ScreenSelect]</font></i>"
+ LJCom1 + "33861" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "24th May, 2006",
  "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still",
  "My mom works as an assistant teacher at a primary school, and describes one of the children as being unbearably behaved, violent and rude and always throwing tantrums, yet when he's with his grandma he's a little angel. Why? Because his grandad spanks him when he's naughty."
+ "<br><br>To which, not at all unexpectedly, my father responds: \"Speaks volumes, doesn't it?\""
+ "<div class=soundbite>Referencing a child who's better behaved in the presence of a violent authority is like pointing out that your employees will work harder if you push a gun in their face <img src='../pictures/quoteend.png'></div>"
+ "<p align=justify>Hell, yes. It says two things to me. First, that you can frighten people (particularly children) into doing what you want them to*. And second, that this boy's grandfather has condemned his grandchild to never accept the system that he will have to endure for twelve odd years, by setting a standard of discipline that nobody else can reach. Quite apart from the fact that punishing a child is a stupid way to teach them right from wrong, the fact that this boy's parents won't, and teachers can't, physically punish him put him in a position whereby any punishment pales in comparison to the beating his grandad gives him. What is a telling off, or a detention, or being sent to the naughty room, when you've had somebody belting red your backside?"
+ "<br><br>Regardless of whether it's acceptable or not, punishing children is stupid and immensely shortsighted, and in this case the negative impact (if you'll excuse the pun) has been even greater than normal. <i>\"Speaks volumes, doesn't it?\"</i> Man. Referencing a child who's better behaved in the presence of a violent authority is like pointing out that your employees will work harder if you push a gun in their face."
+ "<br><br><font class=small>*This piece of information should be essentially useless, since nobody should think that frightening somebody into submission is an effective way of achieving anything.</font>"
+ LJCom1 + "33634" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "23rd May, 2006",
  "Select something else",
  "(Not a particularly fascinating entry, but for the benefit of UKers:)"
+ "<br><br>I told ScreenSelect in an angry e-mail that I'd warn people about this, so I'm doing so."
+ "<br><br>A couple of months ago I started using <a class=ext href='http://www.screenselect.co.uk'>ScreenSelect"+ext+"</a>, the UK online DVD rental service. The free trial was excellent so I prepaid for a year's subscription (it got me four months free). But last month they instigated a stupid new condition called the \"fair use\" policy; it stipulates that the people who use the service the least (essentially, those who are slower at returning discs) will be given priority. That means that, because I'm a more frequent user, I'm less likely to get the titles I ask for first, and I get them slower than other people."
+ "<br><br>I sent them this today:"
+ quoteboxcode + "I have a suggestion. Take back the ridiculous \"fair use\" policy, which is anything but fair. The stupidest thing a business can do is to make its service worse, especially for its most reliant customers. Don't you realise that the people \"who make less frequent use of your service\" <i>[from the terms and conditions]</i> are those who aren't as bothered about quick turnaround or priority titles? It sounds like pure laziness to me, to try to encourage your users to hold onto discs longer. I've gone from an excellent service whereby I almost always get the films I ask for, sent out on the day that you receive discs I've returned, to rarely getting the films I want and not even in such good time - and I'm still paying the same fee. Unfortunately, I had the bad sense to prepay for a year of ScreenSelect so I'm stuck with you. I suppose the worst I can do is to warn anybody I know who is considering subscribing to avoid you. I hope that in the near future you have the sense and conscience to change the conditions back to the excellent service you used to offer." + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>So that's me doing my bit to deter you from a shoddy service."
+ LJCom1 + "33387" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "19th May, 2006",
  "Why are people so horrible?",
/*  "I destroyed someone's face today."
+ "<br><br>I was walking home in the heat of the sun and, as I took my coat off, I glanced across the road at a couple of guys walking in the opposite direction – and I mean glanced, nothing like the staring that's common of the astonishingly rude folk around here – and one of them judged that in doing so I had caused him immeasurable offence, and started shouting violently at me. I couldn’t hear what he said under the strong wind, but it ended with \"you fucking cunt\". I'm not bothered that somebody would be shouting at <i>me</i> like that – what bothers me is that people do it to total strangers <i>for absolutely no reason</i>, and somehow don't realise that it's upsetting, and hurtful. It’s just plain <i>not nice</i>. And all of the furious anger that I have ever felt towards these kind of fucking idiots who act this way built up inside me until I was shaking with rage, all directed at this cretin's dumbshit little face, and I ran across the road towards them. I guess they didn't hear me for the wind, because there was no reaction until I had my fist in his mouth, and his chest, and his eyes, sometimes hard against my knuckles and sometimes soft or wet or broken, and then I was running away home to wash the blood from my hands, and he was propped against a fence, trying to breathe."
+ "<br><br>The more violent aspects of this story aren't true, of course, but the passive aggressive tendencies within me enjoyed writing it very much. I don't agree with punishment of any kind, yet sometimes I feel like, when people act so sickeningly for the sake of looking tough – and at the expense of my happiness, my comfort, my pride – they owe me something, and that perhaps that something is the right to beat the shit out of them."
+ LJCom1 + "32888" + LJCom2,
*/ RemovedEntry,
  "",

  "8th May, 2006",
  "Who is Walter?",
  "Evidently sometimes I begin to write things that I promptly go on to forget all about."
+ quoteboxcode + "Walter's smile had been permanently downturned by the irrepressible forces of gravity. It was the pressure within the strange little cellar that he resided in from eight o'clock until six each day; there was no window and little light, and the air came from a tin sat upon his crusty old desk. Indeed, often it felt to Walter as though there was no door."
+ "<p align=justify>In fact, there was a door. At five feet and seven inches small, it was fractionally too much so for its most frequent entrant, and the curved indentations and flaking plaster at the top and center of the frame were a sad reminder of his early lessons in Avoidance of Contact with Solids. There were also one or two crevices in Walter's forehead as a result of the same encounters."
+ "<br><br>Walter's hair was spiky (when it wasn't flattened by meetings with partitions in the building). It looked like he had taken great care both to create and to preserve the style of his golden-yellow locks each day. He hadn't. Walter was not the sort to take great care with anything any more.</i>" + quoteendcode
+ LJCom1 + "31446" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "5th May, 2006",
  "I am happy now because I killed the man who killed my father",
  "<i>A 16-year-old Somali boy stabbed his father's killer to death on Tuesday in a public execution ordered by an Islamic Court, witnesses said. Omar Hussein, 45, was convicted under sharia law of killing teacher Sheik Osman Moallim two months ago in the capital Mogadishu after a dispute over his son's education."
+ "<br><br>An Islamic court in the Bermuda district of Mogadishu ordered that Moallim's son Mohamed should execute his father's killer in the same manner that his father was murdered. Hundreds of people watched the teenager stab Hussein several times in the chest and throat at the Koranic school where his father had worked, witnesses including a Reuters reporter said. \"I am happy now because I killed the man who killed my father,\" Mohamed Moallim said."
+ "<br><br>Hussein, who was tied with a rope and flanked by Islamic court militia, shouted \"There is no God but Allah!\" in Arabic as he was killed.</i>"
+ LJCom1 + "30986" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "1st May, 2006",
  "Potential",
  "I just love the fact that we're all fucking buzzing with potential and, yes, sometimes there's so much of it it's impossible to organise into something coherent; and sometimes it hides away, and so successfully that it can feel like it's gone forever, but it's always back; and sometimes there can be so much it's overwhelming and you feel totally lost, like a child in a hurricane of beautiful, sharp, glittering crystals - but every so often, either you make the right move, or the potential makes the right move, and you find yourself in the centre of that whirlwind, and you can see <i>everything</i>. Oh, I love being in the eye of that storm. I love the knowledge of the fact that, even though it can seem neverending while it's happening, eventually the storm will die down, and we will all be surrounded by those beautiful, sharp, glittering crystals. Which is to say, <i>everything will fall into place</i>."
+ LJCom1 + "30948" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "April 2006",

  "29th April, 2006",
  "A Brief History of my Scientific Experiences",
  "I always hated science at school; it was just too anal for me. All facts and no creativity. There wasn't anything I could <i>do</i> with science, and even had there been, I wouldn't have been allowed to bend or break the rules. Also, I disliked the fact that we were only ever given the answer to the first \"why?\" <i>Why do we need to breathe?</i> To carry oxygen to our muscles. <i>But why do our muscles need oxygen?</i> Uh, see you next week. For the most part all we seemed to do was memorise crap such as the names of the various parts of the eye. Well, who really cares?"
+ "<br><br>But recently I've been getting really, really interested. I couldn't stop looking at the stars last night, and marvelling at the fact that we see them as these tiny sparkly dots when, in fact, they are far larger than our own planet. Katie and I, between us, came to understand the meaning of e<font class=small>=</font>mc<font class=small><sup>2</sup></font> the other night. For two confirmed science-phobes(?), that's quite something. Did you know, for instance, that:"
+ "<br><br>The farthest object we have viewed in space is 8,000,000,000 light years away from us. Its light has taken eight thousand million years to reach us - which is to say that it might have ceased to exist seven thousand million years ago, but we wouldn't know it. (The Sun, for comparison, is a mere eight lightminutes away.)"
+ "<br><br>Quite fascinating, I think."
+ LJCom1 + "30662" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "26th April, 2006",
  "Meditations (this may not make much sense to anyone).",
  "In the pub the other night, Thom and I were talking about prejudices (and try not to think of that word meaning bigotries, because I'm talking about preconceptions and prejudgements). No matter what anybody might think, the pub is where the great philosophical discussions of humanity all take place. Nietzsche probably <i>lived</i> in a pub."
+ "<br><br>I told Thom that I didn't have any prejudices. Everything I think, or believe, or do comes from a point of complete rationalisation, as far as my average brain will let me, I said (perhaps not so articulately). There is nothing that I have been told that I have accepted without questioning; no conclusion that I have myself that hasn't come from a point of total reasoning: the \"doubt everything\" that Descartes screwed up in his desire to prove the existence of his God. My idea of what is not acceptable is: what forseeably does more harm than good."
+ "<br><br>And Thom said, \"your idea of what 'good' is and what 'harm' is is a prejudice.\""
+ "<br><br>And he was right."
+ LJCom1 + "30112" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "25th April, 2006",
  "Today I want to talk about abortion.",
  "So today I want to talk about abortion. Specifically, about the naivety of those people who think that illegalising it would be benficial to anyone at all. The argument essentially simmers down to sanctity of life vs. quality of life, and it's purely a matter of personal opinion which you feel is more valuable. I'm not going to argue whether abortion is \"right\" or not. I'm going to be pragmatic about this."
+ "<br><br>Exactly what would happen if abortion was illegalised?"
+ "<br><br>Well, firstly, abortions wouldn't cease to occur. Didn't America learn anything from prohibition? Abortions will continue - in hiding, in people's back rooms, performed by semi-professionals and non-professionals. It will be unpleasant; it will be dangerous; it will be horrific. Of course, not everyone will take this route: some will be too afraid - either of the law or of the natural dangers of a stealth abortion - and be forced to have children. What, exactly, are you going to do with these children? I don't like treating them as stasistics but you have to accept the reality of the situation you're promoting: apparently, 32,000,000 fetuses are aborted in America each year. Are you going to throw them into adoption to accompany the other thousands of children who don't find parents each year? (And while you're at it, you're probably the type to restrict the right to adopt only to male-female married couples.) Or will you force the parents to bring up their unwanted child? That sounds like an equally smart idea. If only a <i>tenth</i> of prospective mothers avoided an illegal operation, that would be over 3,000,000 more children with no real hope. America would descend into poverty."
+ "<br><br>Whether or not you think that children, unborn or not, should be allowed - or forced - to live regardless of their circumstances, you have to accept the consequences of such an assertion. I think that most people who hold the view that abortion is Wrong and thus should be against the law haven't actually given any thought to it. It's called fundamentalism. It's stupid."
+ LJCom1 + "29783" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "18 April, 2006",
  "The Divinely Inspired Word of the Hobgoblin",
  "There are two Jehovah's Witnesses at our door arguing with my fundamentalist Christian father. Secular-religious arguments are infuriating enough, but this sort of thing isn't even a genuine argument. Both parties just quote memorised passages from their own Bibles, just throwing their own superstitions at each other as if they're actually saying anything."
+ "<br><br>One: I believe in fairies."
+ "<br>Two: I don't - and I believe in hobgoblins."
+ "<br>One: Well I believe in fairies, but not hobgoblins."
+ "<br><br>Obviously, neither will get anywhere with the other, because they're both totally ignoring reality and just quoting silly nonsense. It always ends with both groups walking away from each other, calling:"
+ "<br><br>\"I'll pray for you!\""
+ "<br>\"Well I'll pray for <i>you</i>!\""
+ "<br>\"Well, <i>I'll</i> pray for <i>you</i>!\""
//+ "<br><br>Idiots."
+ LJCom1 + "29667" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "8th April, 2006",
  "A memory never ends",
  "<p align=center><i>\"The very nature of existence is purpose.\""
+ "<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;- Somebody</i>"
+ "<p align=justify>Today I got up before 9.30 and went to play squash with my friend Thom, who, these days, is usually at university, and will be spending his final year from September studying in Canada. Afterwards, I went for a walk and took some photographs. I'd intended to buy from a charity shop a toy I'd seen that reminded me of somebody, but it had already gone. After lunch, I took a shower, then checked my e-mails and edited my photos, then I dried the dishes, and made the family some tea, and threw together some pancake mix so that I can have America-style pancakes for breakfast tomorrow. It didn't take long, and it wasn't very messy. Then I sat down in the sunshine through my picture-window to read a book."
+ "<br><br>All of which is decidedly uninteresting to the independent voyeur, I'm sure, but to me this is what life is all about. This is why life is. I've had fun and kept fit and entertained one or two people and been useful, and I feel fulfilled. I'm always baffled by the people who suggest that this life is pointless if there isn't another to follow (no, don't worry, no anti-religious rants today). Something isn't fruitless simply because it ends. That game that you played last week; that cigarette that you smoked; that symphony that you listened to; that walk that you took... in actuality, nothing ever really ends until it is forgotten. Which is why the notion that, if nothing follows, my life will be classified totally redundant is so totally erroneous. If nobody else remembers, I will."
+ LJCom1 + "29127" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "1st April, 2006",
  "Spring is here",
  "I went for a walk today in just jeans and a t-shirt. It made me happy."
+ "<br><br>Somebody or somepeoples have scurried around Felixstowe with something like a sledgehammer, or very thick boots, knocking down the low walls at the front of people's gardens. I must have seen between ten and twenty of them; one corner by my road is just one destroyed wall after another after another. Somebody or somepeoples have gone to a lot of effort to do this. Why?"
+ LJCom1 + "28870" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "March 2006",

  "24th March, 2006",
  "The Who. Live.",
  "There are 100 days remaining until I see and hear <i>The Who live</i> in Hyde Park."
+ "<p><i>The Who.</i>"
+ "<p><i>Live.</i>"
+ LJCom1 + "28603" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "January 2006",

  "18 January, 2006",
  "Exercise is bad for you.",
  "Watching <i>Child of Our Time</i> yesterday, I took note of the comment that exercise releases something-or-other-orphins into your body to make you feel good, accompanied by images of a kiddlywink on his bicycle, and I thought, <i>I should do that</i>. So this morning I did. I got my neglected bike out and I pumped the tyres and raised the saddle several inches and I shot off. And I thought, this feels great! Professor Robert Winston was right!"
+ "<br><br>After a while I started to get knackered, but I thought, it feels too good! I'm not stopping till I get home. And I didn't."
+ "<br><br>When I got home I burst through the door and filled up a mug with water, but I couldn't swallow it, so strong was the urge to vomit. So I carried my trembling legs upstairs to the bathroom and just collapsed. I was shaking for a good hour afterwards. My head was pounding."
+ "<br><br>I took the day off work for the first time in my life today, <i>as a result of going for a bike ride</i>. My job involves running up and down stairs every few minutes, constantly being on my feet, sometimes carrying heavy things about the place. I thought I was fit."
+ "<br><br>I was so wrong."
+ "<br><br>Tomorrow I'm going to get on my bike again, albeit a little slower, perhaps. God knows I need the exercise."
+ LJCom1 + "26359" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "14th January, 2006",
  "You have at least six days to live.",
  "Most Christians adamantly claim that Sunday is the first day of the week (despite it being the week<u>end</u>) because that's when the world was created. Is it safe, then, to assume that the world will end on a Saturday?"
+ "<br><br>Safe for another six days."
+ LJCom1 + "25748" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "10th January, 2006",
  "A little about writing",
  "Life. Wow. 's complicated. One of the things I find difficult about writing films is that I want my main characters to be right, and their opponents to be wrong. And you can't write realistically when you simplify to that degree. Most arguments build up from two people with different but equally valuable views and their general inability (or refusal) to empathise. An actor's job is to get into the mind of a single character and understand \"why?\", but as a writer you have to understand every single significant character's motivation; even those who you know are simply <i>wrong</i>. Why would someone continue to be so sadistic, or so unsympathetic, or so tactless? The beauty of human emotion is its potential to be so very ugly. The prettiness of the rainbow doesn't come from the red, or the yellow, or the green, but in all the colours together."
+ "<br><br>This was going to be some sort of reflection on reality (and, in a way, I suppose it has been), but it turned out to be a little piece of writing that will prove very helpful next time I flick through an unfinished screenplay."
+ LJCom1 + "25319" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "3rd January, 2006",
  "Kinders' film year, 2005",
  "It's been a long time since I've actually reviewed a film, so I thought, since it's a new year, I'd have some Kinderly-nerdy fun. Here, in the order that I saw them, are my film experiences from 2005:"
+ "<br><br><b>The Aviator</b>"
+ "<br>Saw it in January. Forgot it by February. The effects were wonderful; the crash scene was stunning; but Scorsese always feels to me like he's trying to do <i>too much</i>, and this was no exception. The lack of an ending qualifies this."
+ "<br><br><b>A Very Long Engagement</b>"
+ "<br>Could never, ever live up to Amelie. Still, it didn't even take it as far as it was able. Farting dogs and chandelier murders? All a bit too zany for a film that was marketed as a sweeping romance, and rather too repetitive for a film that was revealed to be an unfolding mystery."
+ "<br><br><b>Closer</b>"
+ "<br>Perhaps it worked on the stage; it didn't work on the screen. A lack of any indication of narrative nor an explanation that we were only present for the beginnings and ends of relationships (something I had to work to find out after seeing the film) made the whole affair terribly confusing, rather like the peculiar was-it-a-twist? reveal at the end that seemed to beg significance without actually having any. It may have been well acted, but the whole thing was thoroughly depressing, thoroughly repetitive, and thoroughly, thoroughly dull."
+ "<br><br>I promise I will give at least one of this year's films a good review..."
+ "<br><br><b>Ocean's Twelve</b>"
+ "<br>But not this one. It gains a low overration factor only because everybody realised it was tosh. What's stunning is that it was evident that for once a Hollywood sequel had been made because the folks involved <i>wanted</i> to make it; thought they could do something good with it - and still it sucked mighty. It even managed to underwrite the first film by having the team <i>return Benedict's money</i> - after Danny had stolen it in the first place in part to teach him a lesson."
+ "<br><br><b>The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou</b>"
+ "<br>Finally! A positive result. And it took until March. The Life Aquatic is one of the sweetest films I've ever seen; it's not raucously funny but it's far better performed than most of the 'serious' output of 2005, and if it doesn't make you smile for the jokes, it'll make you smile because - well, because that's the kind of film it is."
+ "<br><br><b>Hotel Rwanda</b>"
+ "<br>I didn't come out of the cinema raving about Hotel Rwanda (which is simply to say that I didn't think it was an instant classic, rather than a subtle way of stating that I dind't enjoy it; I did), but upon reflection I can't think of a single thing wrong with it. It made my cry, it made me smile; it was moving without being manipulative and stunning without being exaggerative."
+ "<br><br><b>The Interpereter</b>"
+ "<br>A disappointment. It's nice to see a film romance that doesn't-quite-happen so splendidly, and fascinating to think that the best part of the film was the oh-so-Hollywood bomb-on-the-bus sequence; but the film as a whole is stretched and consequently dull, and the payoff isn't remotely interesting."
+ "<br><br><b>The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy</b>"
+ "<br>Given the joyful fuss over each of the previous adaptations of Douglas Adams' radio play (none of which I've experienced), I was expecting this to be something special. It wasn't, really. There were some nice touches - Bill Nighy showing Martin Freeman the universe under construction was sufficiently awe-inspiring - but, to generalise: it wasn't particularly <i>funny</i>."
+ "<br><br><b>Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith</b>"
+ "<br>Wasn't much of a vengeance, now, was it? The peculiarly backward title seems symbolic to me of how George Lucas has just done his best to copy elements of the original trilogy in some areas (which, spread over nine years and three films, is a little too much self-indulgence to suffer), and relied on his wallet to sort out the rest. I realise how cliché it is to moan about Lucas and his obsession with computer effects, but the criticisms are valid: the characters are non-existent, and without that, there's nobody to drive the film. It didn't help that we all knew how it ended."
+ "<br><br><b>Mr. and Mrs. Smith</b>"
+ "<br>I rather liked Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It was sharp, it was witty; it tried its hardest to not be an action film, and you have to give it maximum credit for that. Hollywood seemed to beat it at the final lap - but the silly gunfight scene at the end can't ruin what was in fact a delightedly unconventional movie."
+ "<br><br><b>Sin City</b>"
+ "<br>So here we are. Sin City. My heart pounds with excitement at the prospect of slating this film some more. I <i>detest</i> Sin City. There's a notion going around that this film is art. It's not. At best it's commercial art - which should be a paradox. I can't deny it points for looking fantastic; I only wish they'd made the content more deserving of the groundbreaking visuals so that I don't feel nauseous at the thought of sitting through it again."
+ "<br><br>So here's why I hated Sin City. Sin City so desperately wants to be a film noir; it acts like one, but, like a fantasising child, however much it may fool itself, the rest of us can see its gaping holes. For starters, Sin City is unreservedly unsubtle where noir holds back; it goes too far where noir knows to push it almost as far as it can go. This complete lack of subtlety extends to all three main protagonists being led to their actions by <i>love</i>. Not only are these catalysts totally unbelievably portrayed in the film, they are unacceptably forward about it. \"I love you Goldie.\" This is supposed to be film noir. Characters should act out of personal vengeance, out of spite, out of sheer sadism. They should be selfish and cold; if love is used as motivation, it should be nothing more than an excuse."
+ "<br><br>And then it goes and defecates on that most beautiful of film transitions, the very goddess of editing techniques: the Cut to black. Shoot me for being picky, but there's nothing more detrimental to a film than a bad edit; and Rodriguez does it over and over and over again throughout Sin City, cutting in the middle of scenes and then pathetically taking us back in. It looked like the projector was faulty. Any atomspheric tension that was intended is totally ruined by the fact that we just return to the same scene a moment later: like telling a joke and forgetting the punchline."
+ "<br><br>Sin City is the film that my parents want to believe every film is: made only for the sake of sex and violence. Sin City isn't art, it's pornography. It is base titillation masquerading as high art, and that's what I hate most about it: that people believe that it's worth something."
+ "<br><br>Those folks at the Guardian said it far better than I can - so <a class=ext href='http://film.guardian.co.uk/features/featurepages/0,4120,1497596,00.html'>read what they had to say"+ext+"</a>."
+ "<br><br><b>Batman Begins</b>"
+ "<br>Saw it in June. Forgot it a few days later. What I remember about Batman Begins is that at the end, Bruce Wayne and Insert name of love interest here came to the decision that they couldn't be lovers because it was too dangerous, or some such. It worked in Spider-man, but the \"sacrifice your relationship for the greater good\" ethos (that was so perfectly blasted in The Incredibles - \"I am your wife! I'm the greatest good you're ever gonna get!\") has become so hackneyed now that it's a boring cliché and for once I'd like to see the superhero get the girl. Mind you, that's what happened in Spider-man 2, so I supposed that'll be the way Batman Returns Again and all those other sequels go as well. Christopher Nolan should go back to making grungy films about people again and stay the hell away from Hollywood."
+ "<br><br><b>War of the Worlds</b>"
+ "<br>War of the Worlds earns a great big maximum overration factor for sake of just four words: <i>A Steven Spielberg film</i>. What is it that makes fans and critics alike sweat with glee at the mention of Spielberg's name? He's barely made anything decent since E.T. and Close Encounters, but still he's treated as film royalty. Don't give me that look; Jurassic Park may have had groundbreaking effects but good effects do not a good film make (see also: Sin City); it was just another Hollywood action movie, nothing special. The cherry on the Spielberg's-not-so-great cake is his revolting attraction to happy endings; I have nothing against happy endings, but please reference AI, Minority Report, The Terminal (which was one big bloody happy ending), War of the Worlds and tell me he doesn't ruin potentially neat ideas with his absurd jollity."
+ "<br><br>Wow. I'm really getting into slating all these films now."
+ "<br><br><b>Kung Fu Hustle</b>"
+ "<br>Well, this was something different. Something like a live action Asterix adventure - performed like it was actually a comic book - and for that reason, a little hard to get into. Better than most of the contenders above, though."
+ "<br><br><b>Crash</b>"
+ "<br>At last, a film I can really rave about. Crash is the only film I saw this year that had the balls to say anything - and something films just don't dare to say: we're all racist, it's normal, and we put up with it and we put with ourselves being that way. There are moments that felt a little too invented - Matt Dillon's heroics, while brilliantly performed, just seemed like too much of a storytelling trick - but you can't put down a film that's so finely written, performed and shot, and so incredibly honest too."
+ "<br><br><b>Charlie and the Chocolate Factory</b>"
+ "<br>I read several articles wherein Tim Burton, poo-pooing Gene Wilder's Charlie... claimed that Tim Burton's film would be much \"closer to the book\". What? Roald Dahl's Chocolate Factory managed to espouse the value of family without a dumb tacked on ending during which Willy Wonka finds redemptoin with his father - a <i>dentist</i>, for Chrissakes. Willy Wonka was never that <i>sadistic</i>. How much more wrong could you make this? The songs are annoying, too. Burton is so good at loveable characters that I would have enjoyed the film if it had been ninety minutes in the Bucket household, but - however much you love Tim Burton's inventiveness and visual flair - this one left its heart back in that ramshackle old building."
+ "<br><br>(Sean Burns: \"...other Depp performances were internalized in ways this one isn't. There's nothing organic about Wonka's freaky flourishes - we always remain stubbornly aware we're just watching Johnny being all weird again.\")"
+ "<br><br><b>Howl's Moving Castle</b>"
+ "<br>I'm not a diehard fan of Hiyao Miyazaki, like so many others are, and I wasn't as enraptured by this or by Spirited Away as most people. But I must say it's worth it <i>just for Billy Crystal's performance</i> as Calcifer: it's that good."
+ "<br><br><b>Serenity</b>"
+ "<br>Ah, Serenity. A sci-fi with no aliens and nary a gadget in site; an action film with characters instead of clichés; only a film like Serenity could end with part of the hero's spaceship falling off in mid-flight and the line, \"what was that?\" And I rather enjoyed it. The lack of extra-terrestrials showed, because this one was actually pretty human."
+ "<br><br><b>Wallace and Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit</b>"
+ "<br>I don't need to say anything more than three words to justify giving this film full marks for quality and a good dose of originality, too. Those three are words are Wallace and Gromit."
+ "<br><br><b>Tim Burton's Corpse Bride</b>"
+ "<br>As forgettable as those others films I saw some time. Poor Johnny and Tim seem to be wearing as thin as their plasticine inventions."
+ "<br><br><b>Nanny McPhee</b>"
+ "<br>It may have sold out for sake of a food fight at the end, the staple of every awful children's film, but the ninety minutes leading up to it are wonderful. Jonathan Ross suggested it might be \"a new classic of its kind\", and I rather hope he's proved to be right."
+ "<br><br><b>The Constant Gardener</b>"
+ "<br>This film actually gave me motion sickness - no, really, it did - but I can't deny that it was spot-on in all areas: the writing, the direction, the acting. Ralph Fiennes pulls off that most difficult of achievements and introduces a character for the audience to be ambivalent towards in the beginning and grow to empathise with before the end. Even the payoff - which delves into plot device territory - just about gets away with it."
+ "<br><br><b>The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe</b>"
+ "<br>I counted a total of eight characters in this film (Aslan was excluded for not having any), which seemed to me to go against the heavily marketed idea that Narnia is a \"fantasy epic\". It's those little kid's-television-show coincidences - like Mr. Tumnus being the only other live prisoner we encounter in the White Witch's palace - that make the whole thing feel so fake. Then, with Aslan's barmy resurrection (apparently, if somebody innocent is sacrificed in place of somebody who betrayed somebody, they will come back to life approximately ten hours later. Groovy) and his \"breath of life\", Lucy's healing potion and the lack of a drop of blood spilled throughout the entire film, any suggestion of mortality is rendered laughably redundant - which kind of spoils a battle scene, doesn't it? The childstars were, in fact, very well performed; and, for the most part, the adults weren't such a letdown either (although the White Witch was pathetically powerless): it was the story and its execution that brought the whole thing down. As for those Christian leanings that director Andrew Adamson claimed he didn't explicitly intentionally include in the film: what exactly was the \"it is finished\" at the close of battle? Or Aslan's (second) exit on the beach? It's not going to poison my children but for those of us who were aware of the allegory, it really stank."
+ "<br><br><b>King Kong</b>"
+ "<br>Brilliant. It's always great when a film comes out with stunning special effects and nobody wants to talk about the computer work. Credit for that this time around goes principally to Andy Serkis, Naomi Watts and Adrien Brody. What can I say? Serkis makes Kong <i>human</i>. The overlong middle section needs highlighting - the bug attack just pushes it too far when the far more fascinating relationship between Ann and Kong has already been established - and a few of those aforementioned effects look really unfinished, but all is forgiven for a film that can make you exit the cinema in love with a big ape."
+ "<br><br><b>Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire</b>"
+ "<br>Opened better than any of the previous films, then finished rather unspectacularly. Goblet of Fire showed a lot of promise in the early stages: it was moody, fast, aware of itself, and then it fell prey to the same curse that blighted the other three Harry Potter films: being an adaptation of a Harry Potter book. Or perhaps it would be more fitting to call it an \"unadaptation\": the only significant changes to be made were the emissions of plot details that might actually explain what went on. But the Potter films seem to be made explicitly for those have read the books - which seems a little redundant, when the celluloid versions are about as close to moving photocopies of the novels as film adaptations can get."
+ "<br><br>Thus endeth my film year, 2005. Sucked, didn't it?"
+ LJCom1 + "24543" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "1st January, 2006",
  "Magic on New Year's",
  "Anyone who was paying attention to my \"power cuts are pretty\" entry might have guessed that last night I went out taking pictures of fireworks. I hadn't thought most of them had come out very well. One of them wasn't very inpsiring until I rotated it 90° - and suddenly it became the best photo I will ever take. I have no qualms about being arrogant here - it's pure chance that it turned out this way - but this photograph is quite amazing."
+ "<p align=center><img class=imgborder src='../pictures/pics/art/The_fairy_and_the_comet.jpg'><br>\'The Fairy and the Comet\""
+ LJCom1 + "24169" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "December 2005",

  "30th December, 2005",
  "Power cuts are pretty",
  "<img class=imgborder align=left width=40% hspace=10 src='../pictures/pics/art/Candlelight.jpg'>We had a power cut today. It happened as I was walking home from work. I hadn't brought my camera with me (and I take my camera <i>everywhere</i>) because the weather was really awful on the way in and I thought, there's no way I'll be doing anything besides getting indoors very very quickly. But on the way home it was quite nice, and as I walked back all of the lights went out. <i>All of them.</i> The streetlamps, the lights in the windows; the stars were already hidden by the clouds. I was so annoyed that on this one occasion I hadn't brought my camera."
+ "<br><br>I can't remember the last time that we had a power cut. Apart from this one, of course. I'm not that old. Power cuts are pretty because the whole house - the whole street - becomes something totally different. Everything is lit by candlelight and it's dim and flickery and magic; it smells different for the same reason; it sounds different because there's no music, no television; all you can do is get out the board games and play Monopoly by candlelight. Well, it doesn't sound much, does it? But it's <i>wonderful</i>."
+ "<br><br>I think there should be a day of the year when everybody switches off their electricity and gets out the candles (and the Monopoly set) and has a power-free day. You could cook your dinner by firelight outside. If you wanted to make it into something meaningful, you could even give the money that you save to people who can't afford anything so luxurious as electricity."
+ "<br><br>Go on, you know you want to."
+ LJCom1 + "23640" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "29th December, 2005",
  "Read.",
  "<b><a class=ext href='http://www.fullmoon.nu/articles/art.php?id=tal'>Read"+ext+"</a></b>."
+ LJCom1 + "23354" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "16th December, 2005",
  "Support the squiggle.",
  "<p align=center><a class=no href='http://www.kinderskinley.com/crazyhappygreensquiggle'>"
+ "<img border=0 title='Support the squiggle. Click here.' src='http://www.kinderskinley.com/chgs/chgs.gif'></a>"
+ LJCom1 + "22982" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "November 2005",

  "24th November, 2005",
  "Everybody should...",
  "Everybody should read the screenplay for <i>American Beauty</i>. It's probably the most expertly written screenplay in the history of film. You can buy it <a class=ext href='http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/075227192X/qid%3D1132871335/203-8780707-4341565'>here (UK)"+ext+"</a> or <a class=ext href='http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/155704404X/102-0767722-3161722?v=glance&n=283155&s=books&v=glance'>here (US)"+ext+"</a>, because I constantly find myself referencing it, or you can get a cheaper and more immediate copy <a class=ext href='http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/AmericanBeauty_final.html'>here"+ext+"</a>. And isn't it wonderful?"
+ "<p><div style='position:relative; width:80%; left:10%'><p align=justify><i>It's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst..."
+ "<p align=justify>...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life..."
+ "<br><br>You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry..."
+ "<br><br>You will someday.</i></div>"
+ "<p align=justify>Everybody should listen to <i>Everybody Hurts</i> by R.E.M., because it's beautiful, and it's just what all you angsty teens need, because it was written just for you."
+ "<div style='position:relative; width:80%; left:10%'><p align=justify><i>When you're sure you've had enough of this life"
+ "<br>Well hang on"
+ "<br>Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries"
+ "<br>And everybody hurts"
+ "<br>Sometimes</i></div>"
+ "<p align=justify>Everybody should read <i>The Little Prince</i>, because it's <i>true</i>. Because it's unpretentious and profound, it's childish (because grown-ups really are quite extraordinary) and simple and it's about <i>love</i>, and what else is there to be about?"
+ "<p><div style='position:relative; width:80%; left:10%'><p align=justify><i>The little prince went away to look again at the roses."
+ "<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;\"You are not at all like my rose,\" he said. \"As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made a friend, and now he is unique in all the world.\""
+ "<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;And the roses were very much embarrassed."
+ "<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;\"You are beautiful, but you are empty,\" he went on. \"One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you - the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing."
+ "<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;\"Because she is my rose.\"</i></div>"
+ "<p align=justify>Everybody should watch <i>Citizen Kane</i>. It is one of the most wonderful examples of what people, mere people can do when they truly make an effort to see the beauty and the potential and the utter amazing possibilities of something that had always been so mundane before. It is the greatest film of all time because, without it, there would be no more great films. And it is utterly astonishing."
+ "<p align=center><img class=imgborder src='../pictures/pics/misc/kane.jpg'>"
+ "<br><i>\"Rosebud.\"</i>"
+ "<p align=justify>Everybody should feel the rough slide of steel strings beneath their fingers with a guitar rested in their lap; they should know, at least once a week, the contentment of turning the final page of a beautiful book; everybody should understand the beautiful realisation that they have bettered themselves in a way they couldn't conceive of because they had never before realised that what they were doing was wrong; everybody should be part of a crowd that moves like a wave and rides on itself to the rhythm of music performed by a live band, and that band should be Marillion, playing an eighteen minute perfect rendition of <i>Ocean Cloud</i>."
+ "<br><br>All of these things it is up to you to discover only by your own initiative. But there is one more thing that everybody should do, and it is cliché and predictable and absolutely fucking wonderful, and it seems not so simple:"
+ "<br><br><i>Everybody</i> should fall in love. And if it seems that it doesn't suit this list, it is because it is misunderstood. It needs to be sought, it needs to be coaxed; it is out there looking for you, and when you look for it yourself, it will appear..."
+ "<br><br>There. Wasn't that profound?"
+ LJCom1 + "21970" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "4th November, 2005",
  "Some thinks, unedited",
  "I love November nights. It's sad that so many of my friends have vanished, and especially sad that my girlfriend isn't here with me, because I love to be out at six, seven, ten, midnight when it's so dark outside, and there's a real chill in the air, but somehow everything is still peaceful. The kind of atmosphere that you only have to smell to feel happy to be alive. I like it when I get on the train and it's lightish out, and I watch the sky disappearing so that when I step off, it's evening time, night time, and I can walk home in the bizarre daydark. But I wish that there was someone there with me, because what I really love about doing things that I love is sharing them with people that I love."
+ "<br><br>Words are truly amazing people. They are the sort of friends who constantly introduce you to new friends, and it's very rare indeed that you'll find a bad word. Some of them are a little eager (such as the word \"little\") and get tiresome after a while, but others - such as \"deliciously\" - are constant companions, always knowing precisely when is the right time to turn up and offer their services. When you know the right words, you can really go places."
+ "<br><br>I love film. I love the fact that with a cut or a frame or a light or a sound or a fade or an expression or a single word, I can say so much to you, and you probably won't even realise it. It makes me feel very smug indeed. I love even more the knowledge that some of you will realise it, and go and do the same. I love Lester Burnham simply saying, \"I'm great.\" I love Nameless the hero's revelation that a warrior's ultimate act is to lay down his sword. I love Amelie's tears as she realises that her fantasies are exactly that. I love the cut to black as Leonard Shelby asks himself, \"Now. Where was I?\""
+ "<br><br>Katie is coming to England tomorrow. She'll be here for a week. Seven days and seven November nights."
+ "<br><br>I love a good resolution."
+ LJCom1 + "21227" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "October 2005",

  "18 October, 2005",
  "My ambition",
  "A pretty awkward ambition has picked me. I love the way that I feel about film, but what an impossible terrain to want to enter. Why don't I want to write? I can do that. Why don't I want to play music? I can do that. Why don't I want to make web sites, or design CDs or write adverts? I can do those. And I want to do most of those, but what I really <i>want</i> to do, what I want to plan for and wake up ready to do and feel so incredibly proud of when it's all over, what I want to do is make my films."
+ "<br><br>And I'm not complaining that this is what I want to do, or even that it's hard. That will make it all the more satisfying when I finally get there. But right now, every so often, I feel so utterly helpless; like time is running out so quickly, and I'm wasting it - and not by being lazy, or by dodging opportunities, but because I <i>can't</i> go any faster, I can't make things work for me any better. I am clinging to the edge of a precipice and all of my strength goes to making it to the top, to clambering over the edge, but I"
+ "<p>am"
+ "<p>weak."
+ "<p align=justify>And where does that leave me?"
+ "<br><br><br>Hanging over something terrifying."
+ LJCom1 + "20601" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "September 2005",

  "2nd September, 2005",
  "A religious experience",
  "I had an argument with my boss today. It was <i>fantastic</i>. She shouted. I won."
+ "<br><br>Really, how many people can say that they took an opportunity to have a proper argument with their boss? Their deity, the leader of their working-hours-religion."
+ "<br><br>Turns out, if I work a full 40-hour week, I only get paid for 39 hours. Naturally, I asked what was going on there, and I was told that it was the same for everybody who works a full 40-hour week. It's still not fair, said I. This repeated a few times, her voice gradually getting louder and louder and the inner tips of her eyebrows lower and lower, until she shouted, \"I will find out for you! Today!\" And then did."
+ "<br><br>Turns out that they're paying me for working 7.8 hours a day on the days that I work 8 hours."
+ "<br><br>I think that people who shout when they argue can't handle it when the person they're arguing with doesn't shout back - just stands there, continues to make their point. We non-shouty people call it reason. It is sad that the boss thought that because everyone was being cheated out of an hour's pay, no-one was being cheated at all. It's sad that people can become that numb to the rules they're set, can believe that because something is common, it's acceptable. But, of course, we see that everywhere. Do you see the irony in that? We see it everywhere..."
+ "<br><br>I'd been thinking about the fact that my boss gets away with some devious nasty stuff that she wouldn't go near if she wasn't boss, and how aggrivating it is that no-one will ever tell her to stop it, <i>because she's boss</i>."
+ "<br><br>Like I said. It was <i>fantastic</i>."
+ LJCom1 + "18361" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "August 2005",

  "30th August, 2005",
  "My life",
  "So here it is. My life. There wasn't really time to plan ahead; I didn't know what I was doing then anyway. Any plans I might have made would have seemed pretty silly when I looked back on them. Maybe I wrote up scores of detailed itinerary - I don't remember much from back then. I guess things were simpler before, but apparently nothing happened memorable enough to take up any space in my mind."
+ "<br><br>Besides, like I said: during my stay here, I've changed. Several times. The world is bigger than just me, and I think that, perhaps, back then, I hadn't realised that. Nowadays, I think it's the source of my energy, my inspiration; the drive that I have is motivated by the fact that the World is bigger than just me, and I really want to tell it what I'm up to."
+ "<br><br>Nineteen years in, and a lot has happened, but most of it is still to start. What's scary is that the man holding the starting gun, the guy whose responsibility it is to set that ball rolling: that man is me. Which is easy, when you're not the one running the race. When you're not the ball. But this race, that I <i>am</i> running, it's a one-man challenge; I'm just trying to beat my own record. It's a flimsy record - in fact, it's pathetic. But I'm too proud to gradually improve, a few seconds each time round. I want to run the circuit just once and make the best time anyone could ever dream of."
+ "<br><br>I guess what I'm saying is, my arm is getting tired, holding up this starting gun, asking myself when will I pull the trigger. My legs are getting tired, standing here at the top of this hill, hands sometimes pressed up against the ball, considering, considering, <i>now?</i>, and sometimes tight against my eyes because the view below is so scary. It's a long way down to that promising haven I can make out."
+ "<br><br>I guess what I'm saying is, I want to get on with it, now. And while sometimes it rains, and the track is too dangerous to run on, or something obstructs the path and I'm scared, I could crash, I could hurt someone... sometimes there are clear days when there's nothing but that little haven, that record to break, and I know that the only thing that stops me, <i>is</i> me."
+ "<br><br>And - because you've totally misunderstood what I'm saying so far - I find that very, very comforting."
+ LJCom1 + "18158" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "June 2005",

  "4th July, 2005",
  "Egoistical Morals",
  "One of the great moral screw-ups that we still suffer today is the egoistical moral. Just about everything we tell people not to do (and we tell them what is the wrong thing to do so much, and so rarely the right thing to do) is reinforced - nay, justified - by a warning of punishment."
+ "<br><br>What it always simmers down to is, If you do this, the repercussions for yourself will be bad."
+ "<br><br>What the Hell kind of a way is that to instill decent moral values into anyone? It has to be the most selfish idea of conscience conceivable."
+ "<br><br>Right and wrong should not be governed by the personal consequences. How a decision affects you will (and should) always be a consideration, but to found a decision solely on that outcome is a hideous precedent to set for yourself or for anyone else."
+ "<br><br>When I hear parents warning their kids against stealing because \"you know who'll come for you,\" I cringe. My soul cringes at that. Theft is wrong because it will hurt the people who have earned those things that you are taking for nothing. Theft is wrong because of the consequences for others, not for yourself."
+ "<br><br>I don't care if You send me to Hell. I refuse to spoil other peoples' lives in the name of my own eternal happiness. How selfish do you want me to be?"
+ "<br><br>This is why I detest the justice system that promotes vengeance in the name of deterrence. Forget giving people what they deserve; a responsible government, one that genuinely cares about the future of society rather than just licking its lips on its way to the bank as the masses lower their pants, should give people what they need. Give them a real conscience, one that understands that actions have consequences for others."
+ "<br><br>If they smacked you when you were a kid, you probably learned not to get caught."
+ LJCom1 + "16307" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "June 2005",

  "28th June, 2005",
  "Sounds",
  "I can hear the wind playing the trees."
+ "<br><br>The music is mysterious. It is indefinable; it sings misery, but also the hope and the knowledge that that misery is only finite. It sings of potential. It sings it quietly, most of the time, but sometimes violently, because some things have to be listened to."
+ "<br><br>It sounds sad, and soft, and pretty and slight; carefree and empty and poignant and deep;"
+ "<br><br><br>It sounds <i>beautiful</i>."
+ LJCom1 + "15479" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "19th June, 2005",
  "Balancing",
  "My life, my thoughts and actions, is a walk to the end atop an unsteady wall. On my right side is the religious fanaticism that I despise, that fathers repression and intolerance. I hate to be walking this wall for the things that I see when I look down on that side. But on the other side is something even more frightening for me. I'm so repelled by the right side that I gravitate towards the left, where another kind of fanaticism festers. It is another that breeds hostility and absolutism, but of a kind that is spawned from good virtue and grows into something more sinister. It is anti-religious fanaticism, and it blinds you with reason rather than showing it to you; like its enemy, it doesn't attract you by goodness or by honesty but by fear and command; and for those high on this wall, it is a very easy land to descend into."
+ "<br><br>This wall that I walk on is uneven and unsafe, and if I look towards either side I can be shocked into unbalancing and I find myself closer than ever to losing my footing and tumbling down into one domain. Once a man has fallen, it is very difficult for him to find his way back onto that honest route again."
+ "<br><br>But from my position up here, I can see <i>Everything</i>. I can call down to the people on either side, and for those who hear me and listen, I can give them a hand up. For as long as I can stay my balance, and retain my energy so that I don't fall, I, more than anybody on either side of me, more even than the leaders of the millions on my left or my right, have the real power to change the world. And if those of us who are walking will hold hands, and help each other to stay up, and call out together, We can <i>change the world</i>."
+ "<br><br>I don't know how long I'll make it up here, but as long as I'm scared to look down, and I keep my eyes forward and my feet sure, I think I'll be okay."
+ LJCom1 + "15192" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "May 2005",

  "29th May, 2005",
  "A night in the life...",
  "I have a bad habit, and a good imagination. My brain likes to wonder what I would do in horrendous situations, so every so often I find myself imprisoned for a crime I didn't commit, or one that I shouldn't be imprisoned for, or I'm being tortured by underground fundies. The things that I intend to do in my life are going to gain me some enemies, and they're the kind of people that I wouldn't want as my friends, but that no-one would want as their enemies. These things all whirr around in my head some nights as I lie in bed, and they make me feel sickly inside."
+ "<br><br>At three o'clock last night, I turned on the light because I'd heard something, and I spotted a big black ugly spider in the corner. Yes, apparently, I can hear spiders. The elusive little bugger kept running to places where I could't quite get him, and for half an hour I chased after it, waited for it, stood staring at it, until it vanished into my heap of film equipment. Pissed off, I put my pillows at the opposite end of the bed (so that my head was as far from the scene of spider as possible) and tried to get to sleep. A few minutes later, the dawn chorus started - the blue tits that live outside my window have just had little blue tits and their singing is the most tuneless screaming you could imagine - and I wondered if this would be my first sleepless night."
+ "<br><br>Later, I realised that yesterday had been May 28th: exactly one year since I finished school; one year since I had my first vodka shot; one year since I got drunk for the first time. And in that year, a lot has happened."
+ "<br><br>In January, I fell in love. This comes first because it is the most important thing I will ever be able to say I've done. The sweetest, prettiest, funniest, loveliest most wonderfullest girl in the world loves me! It brought tears to my eyes to think about it, I'm so fucking happy."
+ "<br><br>I love you Katie."
+ "<br><br>A few days ago I discovered a chord that was new to me. It instantly became my favourite chord. It's utterly amazing that something so simple, those six notes played together, can be something so beautiful, and it reminded me that there is so much potential in absolutely everything; in the most insignificant of things. You have no excuse. <i>I</i> have no excuse."
+ "<br><br>Last October, the first box set of the Complete Peanuts collection came out. This may seem unimportant, and perhaps it is. But I love Peanuts, because it's funny because it's <i>real</i>. Charlie Brown and Linus and Snoopy and Schroeder and 5: they're all me. Charles Schulz drew Peanuts for 50 years, the last half of the 20th century. He died hours before the final strip, announcing his retirement, was printed. His biographer said, \"His life entwined to the very end with his art. As soon as he ceased to be a cartoonist, he ceased to be.\""
+ "<br><br>Everyone should be this way."
+ "<br><br>I got to sleep at about five o'clock. When I turned on my computer to write this down, it wouldn't let me online. Maybe I'm not supposed to be writing this. Maybe I'm supposed to be out living the next year. But I'm here, writing, because this is what I do; I tell people what I think."
+ "<br><br>A lot has happened to me this last year, and most of it is too uninteresting or too impossible to articulate for me to write it down."
+ "<br><br>Today is May 29th. It's a year since all of this began."
+ "<br><br>What's going to happen this next year?"
+ LJCom1 + "13809" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "6th May, 2005",
  "I cried when I read this",
  "I cried when I read this:"
+ quoteboxcode + "A 25-year old Afghan woman has been stoned to death as punishment for speaking to a young man to whom she was not married."
+ "<br><br>Bibi Amena was sentenced to death by local religious leaders in the Spingul valley in the isolated northeastern province of Badakhshan. \"After two days of investigation and community gatherings the Shura [community council] passed the verdict. The boy she was found with was given 40 lashes and the woman killed,\" Mohammad Azim, one of Amena's paternal uncles, told the IRIN news agency."
+ "<br><br>Everyone in the isolated, conservative village, including the woman's parents, reportedly said she deserved to be killed. Mohammad Aslam, father of the executed woman is in police custody charged with her murder, along with six other men."
+ "<br><br>\"She was stoned to death right here, we buried her up to the chest and then they stoned her, she died after two hours,\" said Azim. \"There were seventy people at the stoning, I watched for a few minutes but then left\"."
+ "<br><br>Amena's mother approved the killing. She said: \"When the verdict was announced they came to consult me and I said, 'kill her'. I am proud and happy that she was killed, because she undermined the honour of the village.\"" + quoteendcode
+ LJCom1 + "13063" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "April 2005",

  "11th April, 2005",
  "I am made of star dust",
  "Sometimes, <a class=ext href='http://www.brentrasmussen.com/archives/2005/02/if_i_were_chris.html'>people"+ext+"</a> say beautiful things quite by accident."
+ "<br><br>\"I would be filled with pride and wonder that my blood, organs, skin, and hair, are made from the elements cooked inside of ancient stellar furnaces. <i>And I would weep with the glorious joy that I am made of star dust.</i>\""
+ LJCom1 + "12210" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "February 2005",

  "19th February, 2005",
  "The future",
  "I'm so excited about everything."
+ "<br><br>The future is on its way."
+ "<br><br>Some of it is already here."
+ "<br><br>I can't say what I'll do when it completely surrounds me, because I'll be overwhelmed. But it is going to be <i>amazing</i>."
+ "<br><br>Just watch me amaze you and myself."
+ LJCom1 + "10512" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "15th February, 2005",
  "An open hypothesis",
  "What if you just accepted that maybe you are wrong?"
+ LJCom1 + "10423" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "December 2004",

  "13th December, 2004",
  "Something that never fails to make my day, especially if it's Monday",
  "There's a girl who sits behind me at work who has the sweetest laugh. I don't know who she is (although I'm sure I recognise her somehow from years ago - maybe another life), but every time I hear her laugh it makes me beam - I can't help myself."
+ "<br><br>Everyone, at some point during their life, should know that there is a girl behind them who has a sweet-sounding laugh."
+ LJCom1 + "7433" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "November 2004",

  "18 November, 2004",
  "About new year's resolutions",
  "I think new year's resolutions are a bad idea. There's nothing that stamps certain failure on an idea than resolving to do it for the new year. So, if you want to make a resolution, just do it, and if you want to make a new year's resolution, pick something that it's cool to fail at. Resolve yourself to swallow a quart of warm fat each day, or something. And don't try too hard."
+ LJCom1 + "6151" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "11th November, 2004",
  "Thursday afternoon",
  "<i>Thursday afternoon."
+ "<br><br>He had sat through the morning, wondering over the weather outside, disguised by the turned blinds and fluorescent lights. Pain would occasionally visit the marks in his fingertips where fine paper had sliced them deep, the immaculate cuts masking the damage done. Earlier, he had danced outside stealing pictures from the world around, and the artificial and the mechanical and the mundane had seemed somehow pretty, and the thirty minutes of his day spent in the outside made him long for more during the next four hours trapped within. Now, he was reduced to undoing the work he had already done for occupation, or asking for new work, which meant tasks that could not be performed as he drifted towards other worlds, never quite close enough to be swallowed by them, or letting himself dream, and risking being discovered in a place not allowed by The Procedure."
+ "<br><br>And so he waits, and watches the time slide slowly by, the sudden change of the digital clock from one minute to the next emphasising the drudgery of it all. He waits for five o'clock, when he will once again be free, and although tomorrow the routine will inevitably run again, and The Procedure will take its hold, today he has the evening, and the night time; today he has The Future, and tomorrow he will know he has it still."
+ "<br><br>And so he waits.</i>"
+ LJCom1 + "5743" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "6th November, 2004",
  "Love's the greatest thing that we have...",
  "<i>(I'm waiting for that feeling...)</i>"
+ "<br><br>Joining my CD collection yesterday was another \"best of\" CD, and I heard for the first time since I was twelve or thirteen a song that I'd fallen in love with then, and fell in love with again instantly yesterday. That song is, I think, my most favouritest song of all time ever, and it is <i>Tender</i> by Blur."
+ "<br><br>Please, for the sake of the well-being of humanity, go and get a copy of the 7:39 version of this gorgeous song right now."
+ "<br><br>Thank you."
+ "<br><br>Kin<br>x"
+ LJCom1 + "5236" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "October 2004",

  "21st October, 2004",
  "My very unusual lower zone y loop",
  "<i>This entry has been removed because the enigma of the title is more entertaining than the original content.</i>"
+ LJCom1 + "4030" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "18 October, 2004",
  "In silence and in darkness",
  "Sometimes I come home and my room smells like it did when I first moved into the house, and it feels like a new start; and everything can go wrong again, but everything can go <i>right</i>."
+ "<br><br>This started out as a haiku, but when I realised what I wanted to say, I realised I couldn't say it without moving the walls:"
+ "<i><br><br>Only in silence<br>And in darkness<br>I see and hear everything in total clarity</i>"
+ LJCom1 + "3753" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "14th October, 2004",
  "I hate",
  "I hate the fact that if George Bush wins this election it's going to be off the back of the fundamentalist right wing who are voting exclusively because they want to crush abortion rights and gay rights. I hate that people can be so self-righteous and so selfish as to vote the worse candidate in so that he can <i>remove</i> freedom. I hate that there is a party that believes in choice and a party that believes in <i>themselves</i>, and that the sanctimonious latter wins because people refuse to accept that faith is faith and that you can't hang somebody on your own beliefs."
+ "<br><br>I'm patiently waiting for the day when evolution extends to people thinking for themselves."
+ LJCom1 + "3113" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "September 2004",

  "27th September, 2004",
  "Chapter ?",
  "Everybody's leaving for univeristy. That's pretty exciting. What's strange is that because I'm staying here doing the same old sort of thing, but everybody else is leaving, it still feels like a huge change for me. A new chapter. I hope this is one of those books that gets better as it goes on. I hope there's a shock ending."
+ "<br><br>Here are some words that Steve Hogarth, from Marillion, sang:"
+ "<p><i>hard ball dream love now roll"
+ "<br>fall clown stain truth space time"
+ "<br>race give black white all one"
+ "<br>church state god fast as I could cry"
+ "<br>laugh hide feel no clouds will"
+ "<br>to win sweet seed you me"
+ "<br>hard ball dream love now roll"
+ "<br>fall clown stain truth space time"
+ "<br>never do that, never do that"
+ "<br>will to win, will to win, never do that"
+ "<br>give black white all one wild"
+ "<br>church state now roll"
+ "<br>fall clown stain truth space time"
+ "<br>race fruit"
+ "<br>GIVE</i>"
+ "<br><br>Kin<br>x"
+ LJCom1 + "2109" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "13th September, 2004",
  "A ditty",
  "<i>Paid work is only prostitution.</i>"
+ "<br><br>Paid fun is the only solution."
+ LJCom1 + "1665" + LJCom2,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "August 2004",

  "30th August, 2004",
  "The last hurrah / A Change May Do Me Good (Medley)",
  "I've sold out and gotten myself a LiveJournal account. Maybe I suck.                                                    <a class=ext href='http://www.livejournal.com/users/kinders'>Go check it out"+ext+"</a>."
+ "<br><br>I've \"up\"dated to a LiveJournal because I think it might be nice to be part of something bigger than myself. However much I loved the old site (and it really felt like it was mine), it always felt a little isolated, a little reclusive. Maybe people will even comment here. Maybe I'll just give up and go back to the old version, but having said all this, I'm gonna feel real guilty about it if I do."
+ "<br><br>Even so, you can read the \"old\" stuff here."
+ "<br><br>Kinders"
+ LJCom1 + "296" + LJCom2,
  "",

  "28th August, 2004",
  "A drunken haiku",
  "<p><i>To be going home"
+ "<br>With a sweet smile on my face"
+ "<br>Is my happiness</i>",
  "",

  "27th August, 2004",
  "My room",
  "My room is the biggest in the house. It has six walls, although really it's just one wall, and you can leave quite easily through the door. Most of the time that I spend in my room, I spend elsewhere anyway."
+ "<br><br>I love the smell of my bed. It smells of peace. (Not peace, the opposite of war, but solemness - except that the word is \"peace\".)"
+ "<br><br>On the one wall is a nifty hologram of Shakespeare, who performs a camp \"Aha!\" motion when you wobble your head. This is distinctly difficult to achieve, either because holograms are obnoxious like that, or because it is simply physically impossible to wobble your head."
+ "<br><br>(There are lots of other things on my walls; most of them shouldn't be there any more, like the Harry Potter V poster or the ad for the TCM Classic Shorts 2003 Competition that we were going to win - I forget how.)"
+ "<br><br>There are two monkeys, two gekkos, a bear, a squirrel, Worzel Gummage and Elmo. Elmo became a legend only <i>after</i> I started supporting him. (Squirrel maintains the highest position in the room, because he is also a legend. Elmo has the lowest position, but this is not a reflection of his status: the Taiwanese monkey is hanging from his arms and is missing an ear. [The ear, however, is not missing. It is in the cupboard.])"
+ "<br><br>I just thought you might like some insight into my room. Perhaps there will be more to come.",
  "",

  "19th August, 2004",
  "Bargain",
  "There's an advert on TV telling you to"
+ quoteboxcode + "start your bible collection today by ordering Jesus for &pound;9.99." + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>In other news... no, there is no other news. I don't even have anything to ramble about or deride or ponder over. One of those blank afternoons. I love those blank afternoons. It means I'll sit on my windowledge with a cup of tea in my hands and a breeze on my face and listen to Keane with a faint and perhaps a-little-too-easily-gotten smile under my nose, and then it'll be tomorrow.",
  "",

  "11th August, 2004",
  "Made me laugh",
  "\"Save the environment. Plant a Bush back in Texas.\"",
  "",

  "9th August, 2004",
  "Angel hug",
  "I had a good idea for a journal entry yesterday. It would have been really nice. But I left it until today and now the words are refusing to stand in order so all I have left is the ending:"
+ "<br><br><i>May an angel hug you today.</i>"
+ "<br><br>And unless the words start co-operating, you'll just have to imagine for yourself what it might have meant. I think I like it better that way anyway.",
  "",

  "4th August, 2004",
  "No more old oak",
  "They've chopped down the big old oak tree outside my window. It's very strange to suddenly have a totally different view. What's kind of sad is that I can just see the remaining trunk peeking out from the bottom of the window, as if the old oak is trying its hardest to stay noticed. I have more sky, and more clouds, which is always nice for me, and it feels a little like I'm in a different room, which is always kind of interesting, but I think I'm going to miss the big old oak tree.",

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "July 2004",

  "27th July, 2004",
  "Chain Nosiness",
  "I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions - no more, no less. Ask me anything you want. Really. I'll answer anything. Then I want you to go to your journal and copy and paste this, allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything."
+ "<br><br><i>Questioning now closed.</i>"
+ quoteboxcode + "<a class=ext href='http://www.livejournal.com/users/a_memory_of_you/'>darren"+ext+"</a> asked:"
+ "<br><br>question the first: when i need to escape from my fucked-up existence, i throw pebbles into the stream at the bottom of the village, near sam white's hill. how do you escape?" + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>I play improv rhymthm 'n' blues instrumentals on my keyboard in the corner facing the wall. I can go on for hours. Sometimes it's guitar. Sometimes even that doesn't work, though, because my fingers are so tired of life, and they don't want to dance, and I just watch the clouds, or if there are no clouds, I see how far I can see into the sky, and of course there's no limit. But really, everything I do is to escape, because I refuse to accept that this, my fucked-up existence, is <i>it</i>."
+ quoteboxcode + "question the second: my little brother is my life-line. when i'm sad, i think of my brother, and how he wants to be a pirate when he's 'all growed up'. it makes me think of better things. what do you think of when you're depressed?" + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>I slip into a fantasy future where I live - with an unbelievably sweet girl (but not so unbelievable that I don't think she's out there somewhere) and a cat called Orson - in a nifty bungalow, with round oak doors and sofas you can get lost in, somewhere just within the countryside. There are lots and lots of little details, but I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise."
+ "<br><br>(This is generally thought of as \"sad\", but in less cynical circles it is known as \"hope\". I don't care what it is; it makes me feel good.)"
+ quoteboxcode + "question the third: next summer, will you help me produce \"let it grow\"?" + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>Do you have shelf space for the 2006 Palme D'Or?"
+ "<br><br>Wait, that sounds really arrogant. It was meant as a compliment. If you didn't already think I was arrogant, read it as \"I can't wait\"."
+ "<br><br>Wow. I spent a really long time figuring out how to answer those. Questions like those are kind of theraputic - I learn something about me."
+ quoteboxcode + "<a class=ext href='http://www.livejournal.com/users/lost_988'>Louisa"+ext+"</a> asked:"
+ "<br><br>What inspires you?" + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>Ah, the old classic. I'd like to say, \"Life is my muse\", because it sounds kind of profound (which is always a good reason to say something that isn't true), but honestly, I don't know. Probably, strangely, things that I dislike rather than things I admire, because I'm this idealist who's determined to find perfection, and somehow I have a predisposition to believe that that means arguing with everything..."
+ "<br><br>But I suspect most people couldn't give a straight answer to that. It's kind of nice to think that these ideas we have can come from anywhere, at any time."
+ "<br><br>Looking back on that answer, I'm not very satisfied with it, but the question makes my head hurt. Sorry! The mark of an inspiring question, I suppose..."
+ "<p><a class=ext href=\"http://www.livejournal.com/users/_menthapiperita/\">jess"+ext+"</a> asked:"
+ quoteboxcode + "when are we going to see the hdm documentary?" + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>* Sigh *"
+ "<br><br>When I go out and get a job and buy a new camera so I can get everything we've recorded onto my computer and edit it all together again (the original got deleted, but it needed help anyway). It's entirely down to my laziness. The tape is sat here pouting at me."
+ quoteboxcode + "what makes kinders kinders?" + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>A lot of very dodgy genes."
+ "<br><br>I tried to answer that question seriously/philosophically, but I'm kind of happy to be able to say that I don't really know. Whatever it is that makes everybody different from everybody else: lots and lots of surplus that."
+ "<br>(Sometimes referred to as \"strange\")"
+ quoteboxcode + "what have you last read?" + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>A review of \"The Passion of the Christ\" which mentioned the scene \"when Jesus invents the dinner table\", which made me laugh. I also read darren's journal entry imploring people to come read my journal, which was nice of him. It's been far too long since I read an actual book - Catch 22 has been sat by my bed waiting for weeks, but it looks like such a heavy commitment..."
+ quoteboxcode + "Sara asked:"
+ "<br><br><i>I would like to know..."
+ "<br><br>1) What are your top three emotions that you'd like to eradicate from your brain never to return? Worst first.</i>" + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>I don't think there are any <i>emotions</i> that I'd want removed... but for one exception: the only emotion that I see no purpose for is regret. Guilt makes you feel bad for things you feel you shouldn't have done and stops you doing those things again in the future, but regret seems to make us want to go into the past and change those things, and I don't understand how we came to have this useless feeling. Perhaps the next step in our evolutionary journey will have, uh, learnt from its previous mistakes."
+ "<br><br>(\"Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.\")"
+ quoteboxcode + "2) Imagine the most perfect sky. What does it look like?" + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>Words are beautiful, but some things are more beautiful."
+ quoteboxcode + "3) What's your biggest regret?" + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>I wish I'd looked after my teeth better. I don't mean to be superficial; it's just that, given the chance, it's the only thing I would have done differently knowing what I know now.",

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "June 2004",

  "22nd June, 2004",
  "FS5",
  "Sitting in my film studies exam this morning I came across a little moment of enlightenment. Someone had written on the desk, \"Love is a pointless emotion\" and it left me feeling cold, and then the thought popped into my head that the very fact that it exists as an emotion gives it meaning."
+ quoteboxcode + "The very nature of existence is purpose" + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>was the incredibly cool way I managed to articulate it, although I didn't write it on the desk, because the only space was next to something about life being akin to a hard-on.",
  "",

  "22nd June, 2004",
  "Summer",
  "My bedroom window is huge and it faces whichever way the sun comes in most of the day, so usually it's a curse and my room is far too hot. But today, the first day of Summer, it's pouring rain against an unusually vivid blue sky and my room is not the hottest but the brightest in the house. Keane is playing in the background and the weather is only getting better. Things are, on the whole, looking up."
+ "<br><br>(You could, I suppose, say I was looking on the bright side of life. But you would sound like a line from Sex and the City.)",

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "February 2004",

  "29th February, 2004",
  "Some much-missed politics courtesy of GWB",
  quoteboxcode + "President Bush called for a constitutional amendment restricting marriage to the union of men and women, voicing concern that gay marriage would weaken society. Bush's support for a ban on gay marriage put the weight of the White House behind conservatives working to thwart a Massachusetts court ruling that could permit same-sex wedding vows as soon as May 17, and the subsequent decision by San Francisco to issue marriage licenses to more than 3,200 gay couples so far." + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=right>- The Washington Post"
+ "<br><br>" + quoteboxcode + "... America is a free society ..." + quoteendcode
+ quoteboxcode + "... Our government should respect every person..." + quoteendcode
+ quoteboxcode + "... In all that lies ahead, let us match strong convictions with kindness and goodwill and decency." + quoteendcode
+ quoteboxcode + "Ages of experience have taught humanity that the commitment of a husband and wife to love and to serve one another promotes the welfare of children and the stability of society. Marriage cannot be severed from its cultural, religious and natural roots without weakening the good influence of society..." + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=right>- George W Bush"
+ "<p align=justify><br>What an idiot.",
  "",

  "27th February, 2004",
  "Kit Kats",
  "Time, I think, to update you on the breaking-the-Kit-Kat-into-two-clean-bars-with-one-hand situation. I can do it now."
+ "<br><br>And I won't be held responsible for anyone who lost their millions betting on something so silly.",
  "",

  "11th February, 2004",
  "For the fans",
  "I don't know who of you visits this site, presumably all of you, but I found out recently that there are people from the His Dark Materials fansite reading this, and I thought you might like to know that Thom and I are making a short documentary about the books at the moment. If it's possible, I'll put it here for download once it's finished."
+ "<br><br>That is all.",

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "January 2004",

  "20th January, 2004",
  "The Infallible Money-Making Scheme",
  "I've figured out how to make my millions."
+ "<br><br>Bet someone any money they can't break a Kit Kat into two clean bars with one hand."
+ "<br><br>I'm just off to buy a yacht.",
  "",

  "16th January, 2004",
  "Haiku",
  "I write this Haiku"
+ "<br>Following those rules I know"
+ "<br>I reason: it works",
  "",

  "1st January, 2004",
  "114",
  "Thom and I stayed out last night on our mission to wish a happy new year to as many people we didn't know as we could (and four Germans, twice, and a guy who looked like the lead from Duran Duran dressed as Morpheus). We reached 114. We feel we've changed the world."
+ "<br><br>When I got back at 3.05am, I found I'd left my keys in the house and had to ring the doorbell to get in.",


//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "November 2003",

  "27th November, 2003",
  "Freedom",
  "Oh, how I long for freedom. Freedom from the people who I have to endure, the rules I can't change, from society's mindless expectations of me, from myself and my own goddamn procrastination."
+ "<br><br>I long for freedom from my desperate escapist tricks of writing grumbly journal entries to distract me from doing what I need to do, and what I want to do but tell myself I can't."
+ "<br><br>I just want to be able to get on with things. And if someone else doesn't find a way to stop me, I do."
+ "<br><br>I'm an idiot."
+ "<br><br>I suppose that's my problem.",
  "",

  "26th November, 2003",
  "Things to talk about",
  "We've all been set topics to debate in Sixth Form recently, and I think for once it was a good decision on the school's part, because everyone is arguing about things and unusually thinking about things, and all these things flying around are really quite interesting."
+ "<br><br>The ones that I'm really interested in are whether the monarchy has had its day (I wonder, did it ever?), and whether gay couples should be allowed to adopt children."
+ "<br><br>And of course when questions like this are drifting around unavoidably, all the prejudices come out and leer."
+ "<br><br>The royal family getting the special treatment and the sickening public respect that they do, purely because they are born into a certain family, is in fact on the same level as racism or sexism - or, indeed, homophobia."
+ "<br><br>And the people who argue adamantly that your sexuality is a choice you make (and, apparently, that only gay people make) are really losing face, because it's not even a debateable matter, it's just blatantly false."
+ "<br><br>The strongest argument against single-sex adoption has been that the kids would be ridiculed in school, but of course if someone is going to make fun of you, they're going to find a route to that anyway, and I think it's likely they'd be made fun of for having no parents too. At least if they were adopted they would have parents to go to. Can we really deny a child loving, caring, willing parents when they present themselves?"
+ "<br><br>Well, there's some interesting things to talk about.",
  "",

  "22nd November, 2003",
  "Two good things",
  "I was actually <i>waiting</i> for The Matrix: Revolutions to end."
+ "<br><br>There were two good things about that film:"
+ "<br><br>First, that it ended a franchise that should never have become a franchise."
+ "<br><br>And second, the line, \"We have to disable or destroy the diggers in the dock.\"",

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "October 2003",

  "21st October, 2003",
  "A heartfelt explanation",
  "Recently I've been having a lot of arguments with people on the internet. One nineteen page long argument that I had in a forum was with an obsessive Christian who was blurting out blatant lies like \"like it or not, you choose who or what you are attracted to\". I'm tired of it. Tired of that and the actual worldwide homophobia that started the whole thing."
+ "<br><br>I told somebody else that I didn't like the style of much of Mozart's music and they retorted with \"could you do better?\". Which just jarred me off even more, because it's such a stupid thing to say. Of course I can't, that's not the point at all. If we could talk critically only about things that we could personally better, we'd get very little said. And very little bettered."
+ "<br><br>Somebody else tried to convince me that \"Pessimists are disappointed a lot less often than optimists\". What bilge. I've learnt that people don't understand that optimism isn't about naively anticipating the best from any situation; it's about making the most of what we've got."
+ "<br><br>Why should I spend so much time on those people who refuse to make decisions based on reason and goodness and refuse to be pragmatic and fair; why should I spend time - the time I keep preaching about making the best of because it's running down, it's running out, and there's so much so good to do - arguing with the people who disagree and want to follow mindless rules and disregard other people and do what some book or law or deity or authority tells them to do instead of thinking for themselves and questioning everything to find sense?"
+ "<br><br>I don't think I should. They're a bloody unreasonable bunch. I wrote a few months back about trying to reason with unreasonable people. It's beyond impossible. And I don't mind that these are people who are determined to spend their whole lives on something that may well be a waste of their time, or spend their whole lives wasting their time on nothing, because it's their life, their time, but I mind that people are hurting other people and disregarding other people's feelings, other peoples' lives, and I mind that there's so much mindless discrimination going on and that everyone is letting everyone else get away with it."
+ "<br><br>I had a look back over that homosexuality thread again today. I read posts like \"we have to have a set of rules - without them we would just have anarchy\". Who decides which rules we live by? Every person lives by a set of completely different rules, whether it's obvious or not. What worries me is when people follow rules because they're there, or because somebody told them to. What worries me is when people follow rules that don't benefit the most people possible and inconvenience the fewest."
+ "<br><br>Emotions aren't scientific. Life is too complicated to put a formula to it. If there were no rules, how would we make our decisions?"
+ "<br><br>People might just start thinking for themselves.",
  "",

  "21st October, 2003",
  "Revoltions (sic)",
  "Anyone noticed a complete lack of excited enthusiastic hype for the new Matrix film from me?"
+ "<br><br>You'll be noticing a lot more of that.",
  "",

  "3rd October, 2003",
  "Truanting",
  "No! Fines/sentences for parents will not stop truanting. Making the process more pleasant for the students will."
+ "<br><br>When the government legislates that schools cannot enforce stupid, degrading, inconvenient rules that do more damage than good (if they do any good), things might start looking up."
+ "<br><br>And that doesn't just mean uniforms and chewing gum. That means core subjects, and \"education\" lessons (the ones which are so obviously not educational that they have to have the tag forced onto the end). It means a little pragmatism in the system, please.",

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "September 2003",

  "17th September, 2003",
  "Cucumber baps",
  "I'd just like to make clear my support for cucumber baps, because in my area they've been getting a lot of stick recently and called names such as \"water baps\", because apparently they consist of little more - but this is no reason to mock them as if they are inferior to other foods."
+ "<br><br>Cucumber baps are baps too.",
  "",

  "12th September, 2003",
  "Bouncy balls",
  "You know what's missing from society today? Bouncy balls. I mean really good, elasticesque, leap up and touch the clouds bouncy balls."
+ "<br><br>If I was prime minister, or President, or Queen or whoever, I'd issue every newborn child with a bouncy ball. And a banjo, because Linus van Pelt says so, and I have the deepest respect for Linus van Pelt.",

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "August 2003",

  "7th August, 2003",
  "Meteor",
  "There's a light outside my window, and each night it burns brightly; however cloudy the sky, whether there are two stars visible or fifty, this one is there, shining out. And always in the same place. Maybe it's a meteor preparing to hit the Earth (which would explain the phenomenal heatwave we're going through right now - honestly, people are going on holiday \"to lose their tans\")."
+ "<br><br>But, so long as I have some cool drinks and a fridge I'll be happy. Yup, all I need is something to drink and somewhere to sit.",

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "July 2003",

  "31st July, 2003",
  "Working class hero",
  "I took out \"Lennon Legend\" the other day; I'd forgotten quite what a Legend Lennon was."
+ "<br><br>\"Working Class Hero\" is brilliant: a totally honest and thought-provoking insight into today's society and how we are each expected to conform, follow The Rules, and to not be in any way exceptional."
+ "<br><br>\"They hurt you at home, and they hit you at school; they hate you if you're clever, and they despise a fool; till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules...\""
+ "<br><br>It's a good song. Very insightful. Take a listen.",
  "",

  "24th July, 2003",
  "Ants",
  "Anyone who hasn't admired the view from the Eiffel Tower really has never lived. I hope you're all turning in your graves, because it is the most magnificent sight I have ever encountered (and I only made it half way!); when people talk about others looking like ants (regarding their relative size, rather than intending to offend anybody), I had never quite realised how honest they were being."
+ "<br><br>The people look like ants!"
+ "<br><br>But you have to see it for yourself (if you can make it up the steps, which is a trauma in itself, because there is no way of seeing what's supporting you). Next time you're up the Eiffel Tower, remember to check out the view.",

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "June 2003",

  "23rd June, 2003",
  "Save the rainforests",
  "Well, what a waste of paper."
+ "<br><br>I don't like to review \"Order of the Phoenix\", but I had to at least let known my horror at this, this \"Harry Potter\" book."
+ "<br><br>I could tell you what happened in Philosopher's Stone or Chamber of Secrets, and the story behind Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire. Phoenix appears to have no plot nor, indeed, any justification behind its own existence."
+ "<br><br>Oh, Lord, I'm writing a review."
+ "<br>Very well then."
+ "<br><br>Rowling had the idea to write her series of novels and, justifiably, write one for each year of Harry's school-life. I get the ominous feeling that she ran out of ideas at the fifth book but ploughed on anyway. We've learnt little or nothing from this book; barely aything has been achieved; I stand quite certain that the important events from Phoenix (they are few and arguably quite uninteresting) could well have been posted at the end of Goblet of Fire, and this horrible escapade forgotten! When Dumbledore told Harry \"I am going to tell you everything\", I had not expected the statement to mean \"I am going to summarise what we've already learnt in the previous four books, Harry\"."
+ "<br><br>Which leaves me concerned, in the knowledge that either Rowling has indeed run totally out of ideas, and therefore I can only expect something similar or, shudderingly, worse, from books VI and VII, or that those books will be the best of the series (please, oh, please), and Rowling has unfortunately used book V as - well - \"filler\"."
+ "<br><br>Either way, I'm sure that the labyrinth mysteries behind both Harry and Voldemort's pasts is still securely in place, so I can, thankfully, look forward to the revelation of this - even if the closing books are hideous.",
  "",

  "18th June, 2003",
  "The Essay is back",
  "What the Hell is wrong with people? Increasingly it seems like the world is full of idiots who have no desire for life other than to fuck around with other peoples'. Yesterday, I got mugged. They took a whole pound."
+ "<br><br>Instinctively, after you've left a situation, you start to analyse what might have happened had you handled it differently: \"what if I'd ignored them\"; \"what if I'd given them my wallet\"; \"what if I'd planted my fist in his face\", and in circumstances like these, you realise that it could not possibly have gone any better, becasue there is no reasoning with lifeless, pointless beings such as these: they're just looking to play around with you, and see just how far they can go."
+ "<br><br>Why is there no reasoning with them? Because from the very first moment, there is no reason for their actions; they will approach you, asking for a cigarette they don't want, or the time they already know, and instantly move on to some gormless, unanswerable question like \"do you think something's funny?\" - and what do you answer? \"Yes, I find your face inexplicably funny.\" It's that or \"no\" and therefore, \"yes, I am afraid of you\"."
+ "<br><br>And from this moment on, there continues to be no reason behind the actions of - and therefore no reasoning with - these people; and you're stuck."
+ "<br><br>What's my point? I'm not even sure. I'm just angry. I'm just wondering how people can get through life, their only motivation being to play with other peoples' - how can anybody live without a reason to live? Yesterday, someone made a pound's profit from it, which, I'm sure, is an anomaly, since it's not about money, or personal gain, or anything fulfilment, it's just about making life difficult for the people who care about it."
+ "<br><br>What the Hell is wrong with people?",
  "",

  "14th June, 2003",
  "Dumbledore's Secret?",
  "I should aplogise for my unusual lack of Harry Potter fanaticism, particularly given the fact that there are <i>only seven days to go</i>!"
+ "<br><br>Hopefully that subtle insertion of hype should make up for my previous behaviour."
+ "<br><br>It's been induced, of course, by the fact that Philip Pullman's \"His Dark Materials\" is infinitely better."
+ "<br><br>Oh, I entered a library competition to win some OotP banners, which was nice. We had to decide what Dumbledore was going to reveal to Harry in Book V. I wrote a poem:"
+ "<br><br>Dumbledore's Secret?<br>By Kinders"
+ "<p>Albus Dumbledore's been waiting five years"
+ "<br>To unveil his surprise on us all"
+ "<br>The revelation he's about to complete"
+ "<br>Has the world very much enthralled."
+ "<p>Perhaps Dumbledore is the Father of Time,"
+ "<br>He sees and hears all we do;"
+ "<br>The next time you consider breaking a school rule,"
+ "<br>Remember: he's watching you."
+ "<p>Perhaps DD is an unreality:"
+ "<br>An illusion on Potter's part;"
+ "<br>Harry's really just a brain in a vat"
+ "<br>(as philosophised by Rene Descartes)."
+ "<p>Perhaps the Head is in trouble at home,"
+ "<br>And so he's moving on;"
+ "<br>Harry mustn't let Mrs. D find out"
+ "<br>Dumbledore's a modern day \"Don Juan\"."
+ "<p>Perhaps DD is breathing his last,"
+ "<br>And happy to go in his prime."
+ "<br>Perhaps he's left Harry a task to complete -"
+ "<br>To waste another year of his time."
+ "<p>No one can rule out the rather slim chance"
+ "<br>That DD's addicted to hash,"
+ "<br>And the whole magic thing is just a big fraud"
+ "<br>To get hold of some government cash."
+ "<p>But finally, and here comes the Sirius part -"
+ "<br>No puns or Krummy jokes here -"
+ "<br>Whatever the surprise, Marvolo(us) it shall be:"
+ "<br>Roll on, Harry's next year."
+ "<p align=justify>I've already cleared a space on my wall.",
  "",

  "21st May, 2003",
  "A concerning story",
/*  "Here's a concerning story:"
+ quoteboxcode + "Five-year old Jessica Daley was sat in front of the TV by her father John who'd just bought his daughter the DVD of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Little did he know that due to a labelling mix-up, the DVD inside was actually a copy of The Exorcist - regularly voted the scariest film of all time."
+ "<p align=justify>According to The Sun, Jessica managed to watch five minutes of Satanic possession before she told her father, \"it's scaring me.\" As the idle chap was sat in the bath, he sent Jessica's 11-year-old sister in to sit with her before she came to him saying that the film definitely wasn't Harry Potter." + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>What's most concerning is a) how Father Daley could have been sat by his daughter and not notice that they were watching The Exorcist and b) how his daughter \"was sat in front of the TV by her father\" whilst \"the idle chap was sat in the bath.\"",
*/ RemovedEntry,
  "",

  "20th May, 2003",
  "DVDarko",
/*  "I have Donnie Darko on DVD, and you don't."
+ "<br><br>Well, I'm assuming you don't, for the purposes of my gloating."
+ "<br><br>Look out for the Frank-shaped pumpkin in the kitchen, which, yes, for the benefit of my friend Cardy, is a pumpkin (the pumpkin, not the kitchen), though all must agree that it resembles much more closely a tea cosy."
+ "<br><br>If it hadn't been for these damned audio commentaries directors insist on recording, Cardy would have never been proven right. Since when did pumpkins have ears?"
+ "<br><br>Since when did pumpkins look like tea cosies?",
*/ RemovedEntry,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "March 2003",

  "26th March, 2003",
  "Steven says...",
  "\"Steven\" posted a lengthy number on my message board the other day, criticising my views on the war; so it's nice that I'm revamping the board - all previous messages will be wiped... you can read the near-sadist's comments and my earful of retalliation below."
+ "<br><br>Steven says:"
+ quoteboxcode + "Oh dear Mr 'Drama Queen' Kinley! Looks like the world is coming round to war! 54%-pro to 46% anti in the UK alone! What will you do? Im afraid these figures are going to get worse (from your perspective). More problems! Don't your fellow 'protestors' (\"Hippie wannabee\" students who dont know the first thing about the world, and school kids who usually just want a day off and a chance to rebel) embarrass you? If they were on my side, they certainly wouldnt fill me with pride!"
+ "<p align=justify>When will you wake up and smell the murderous dictator?? War IS NOT nice, but sometimes it has to be done. What is your alternative? Wait for another Pearl Harbour? Another September 11th? Wait for Saddam and Bin Laden to team up? No one wants to see innocent people die. But again, WAKE UP. Its happening already, you just havent been exposed to it. The one thing that is slightly strange is the \"Give up your weapons, or we will attack you with our weapons\" philosphy, but honestly, who is more likely to be a threat with these weapons? Brutal, murderous dictator.. or Bush.... Brutal murderous dictator... or Bush... hmmmm. Sure, the man isnt very bright, but I have come round to the idea of his presidency just recently."
+ "<br><br>It may not sound fair, but I would rather people/places like the Bush administration/USA have access to weapons like these than Saddam. This isnt Eastenders, Bush isnt suddenly going to decide hes a bad guy, follow his ex-wife to Portugal, and kill her.... (off topic). The good guys stay good, and the the bad guys stay bad. Changes in leader affect this (ie Mugabe in Zimbabwe), but like I say it is the people that fundamentally stay on their side of the line. Good Vs Evil."
+ "<br><br>Finally, I return to the \"who would you rather have weapons\" argument. Compare it to children Vs Adults. Would you let a five year old drive a car? It may seem like a trite analogy, but it works in principle. Saddam is in essence a child. He will do whatever it takes to get what he wants. He ignores consequences. And for this he must be \"disiplined\". Of course, Im not saying you would kill a child for attacking the neighbours ferret, but hey Im sure you get my drift."
+ "<br><br>In conclusion, please stop being a stereotype teenage... \"Woah man... whats all this talk with war, cant we just love each other and get along?\" You may think you're making a stand, but its just soooo clichéd, like a few of those films that bottom your list. In order to \"love each other and get along\", people like Saddam have to be wiped out." + quoteendcode
+ "<p align=justify>Steven,"
+ "<br><br>It doesn't matter which people are on \"my side\", whether they're school children, everyday schmos or incarcerated criminals; what's important is the principals that they are fighting for, and I am proud to be opposing the war in Iraq. I don't believe that the students protesting across the country and overseas are doing so to satisfy a long-unfulfilled desire to be hippies, and I don't believe that school children up and down the UK are primarily interested in taking a day off school. Indeed, most of the instances I have heard of regarding the many protests have occured at weekends or out of school hours. I am sure that the prospect of spending hours walking through a crowded London does not appeal at all to today's apathetic youths. This is about stopping a war."
+ "<br><br>Right now, I don't believe that war is either nice nor necessary. My alternative is to dispose of Saddam and his associates, many of whom, it has become clear, would willingly abandon their leader at the drop of a bomb, in the most peaceful way possible. Of course force is necessary, of course some people will come off worse, but there are far better ways to deal with the problem, ways that greatly reduce the harm to civilians, the \"collateral damage\", as it's so brusquely named. I know that war is already in motion; this is why hindering it from going any further is vital, so much loss can be prevented. It is gradually becoming more and more clear that President Bush is likely to be the more dangerous leader; he has control of a third of the world [ed: my geo-political knowledge was clearly not outstanding in 2003], he has a strong determination for war that overrules the UN and the worldwide public opinon, and he's spreading. This man is trying to prevent war by waging war."
+ "<br><br>Rather than asking whose side the good and the bad are on, perhaps you should ask who the good and the bad actually are. Saddam Hussein certainly isn't our hero, our saviour, but George Bush is hardly saving the world with his actions. He's destroying a small part of it, and however small that may be, he is killing innocent people <i>unnecessarily</i>."
+ "<br><br>As for your child/parent/car analogy, the situation should not and cannot easily be so tritely simplified (and don't forget that a parent should be on the same side as their child; they are there to look after them). However, to counter the statement: if you don't want a child driving your car, by all means, hide the keys, destroy the car (this metaphor is rather flawed, you can see) and/or remove the child from any opportunity he has to reach said vehicle. There's no need to drive through the neighbour's flower garden or, indeed, run the neighbours themselves over in the process of getting the car away. And, as it is, we have no secure reason to believe that Saddam even wants to get near the car. He has complied completely with the UN, he's handed them his keys, and the UN have asked the parents to exercise caution and patience. Bush, it seems, has something against the neighbours. Perhaps he thinks there's an oil-well beneath that flowerbed..."
+ "<br><br>I'm perfectly happy to be a stereotype teenager. I think we stereotype teenagers have got it right. If there being a better solution to the problems in Iraq than war is what stereotypical teenagers believe, then categorize me, exclude me, put me in a box marked \"cliché\". If your problem is with my being a stereotype then you have a great priority problem - there is a war on, you know. I would like everybody to love each other and get along, but this is something of an unfulfillable dream; there will always be people with issues that counter peace, and they need removing. The problem is that as Bush rampages through Iraq in the search for Saddam, he's killing a lot of other people, too; and we can't all love each other and get along once we're dead.",

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "February 2003",

  "24th February, 2003",
  "The 181st best film I've ever seen",
  "Lord of the Flies is one of the funniest films ever made."
+ "<br><br>The special effects are stunning; no one else could have gotten away with Piggy's death and made it this believable."
+ "<br><br>The dialogue is some of the best ever written; classic scenes such as the Camburyshireville sequence continue to inspire writers to this day."
+ "<br><br>After all, it is the 181st best film I've ever seen.",
  "",

  "19th February, 2003",
  "Life rules... developed when life sucks",
  "Rules piss me off. They really do. Petty, ridiculous rules, from the days when wearing \"incorrectly coloured\" socks to physical \"education\" \"lessons\" was a crime to which way up you hold your fork when you eat."
+ "<br><br>Would you believe I managed to have an argument on which way up you hold your fork when you eat?!"
+ "<br><br>Well, that's something of an untruth. I was the one claiming that it reeeally doesn't matter, not that \"this way up is correct\"."
+ "<br><br>Rules piss me off; when people live their lives by an unspoken system; people become robots.",

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "November 2002",

  "13th November, 2002",
  "Winston",

  "<p><img align=right class=imgborder src='../pictures/pics/misc/winston.jpg'>"
+ "Robert Winston, that's his name,"
+ "<br>He must have quite a well-sized brain,"
+ "<br>Since science is his special thing"
+ "<br>He is the Documentary King<br clear=all>",
  "",

  "4th November, 2002",
  "??? days to go",
/*  "What's going on with Harry Potter V (\"Order of the Phoenix\", so I'm told, though the rumours are all over the place, so heed my free warnings and trust no-one)? The latest I've heard is that it may even be out in time for Christmas!"
+ "<br><br>I think Bloomsbury (if they're still publishing them, God knows), having disrupted the whole one-book-each-year schedule, should at least have the courtesy to let us know what's happening. If she's got writer's block (or she's found a great flaw like the one in Book IV), that's okay. At least they could tell us, \"she's stuck. Don't wait up\"."
+ "<br><br>There's my rant for the week.",
*/ RemovedEntry,

//	NO "", ABOVE HERE
  "October 2002",

  "22nd October, 2002",
  "Welcome",
  "...to my humble li'l web site. I'll try my hardest to keep it up to date, but I've had web sites in the past and they tend to get neglected... mind you, I've never had one that looks quite this cool, so thanks to the designer (guess who ;-))."
+ "<br><br>So enjoy the site! Hopefully this will be where you'll get the news first on my films and programs and, for those who really care or just enjoy reading my ramblings, me."
+ "<br><br>I do realise that loading the main pages is rather tedious right now, I'll endeavour to fix that whilst maintaining the cool slidy bitty things."
+ "<br><br>And that sentence started out so well.",
  "",

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