Katie's 20th birthday present from me began with a message in a bottle from a retired pirate - Captain Silver Longjohns - who had given up trying to remember where he hid his treasure. The best place to start, he suggested, would be a BBC documentary dedicated to him. "No doubt," he suggested, "it's been put onto YouTube..."

The documentary of Longjohns' career is, for the most part, a composite of other YouTube video and sound clips (more info below) - although I did cast myself in one role...

There are also some pictures from Katie's birthday.

Directed, written and edited by Kinders Kinley. Trivia

• The music in the opening sequence is from the brilliant Scary Mary trailer
• "Padiddle", Longjohn's ship, derives her name from a game my American friends like to play
• The music from the "You'll pay for this..." reveal is the famous music from Dramatic Cat
• I can't remember what film the freshly subtitled sequence comes from. Do drop me a line if you know
• The music in the subtitled sequence is a recording of "He's a Pirate" (from Pirates of the Carribean) performed by "hemo"
• The line "You fool! Those were good biscuits!" is a reference to Armando Ianucci's exceptional The Thick of It
• The narration is not by Gordon Brown (or Henry Attenborough) but by me, my voice digitally lowered several tones
• The "Norse god of mischief" is Loki: the name of Katie's dog
• The URL www.silvelongjohns.tk no longer exists, but the pages are still online at www.kinderskinley.com/slj
• The epic music from the credits sequence is an edited version of the Pirates of the Carribean theme, performed by Kentaro Matsuura
• The camera operator Adolf Fhqhwgads takes his name from the Homestar Runner video, Everybody to the Limit
• Rotten Productions and the trailing clip are a reference to a favourite childhood show of mine called Roger and the Rottentrolls.

My thanks, of course, to all those borrowed from. You helped make an awesome birthday present.